03-18-2013   Leave a comment

I just spent a little quality time with my snowblower this morning.  With another huge snowstorm coming our way I thought she might need a little pep talk before I send her out into another nasty old snow storm.  I don’t think she was too happy to hear about this storm because she refused to talk to me or even look me in the eye. Snowblowers can be so temperamental if they’re not treated like God’s gift to all snowblowers.  I gassed her up, wiped the dirt from her beautiful red body, gently checked her oil, and then rubbed her all over with a clean rag.  It’s strange that this entire routine reminds me more than just a little of most of my previous relationships.  I baby them, pamper them, feed them, clothe them, make love to them, and then maybe just maybe they’ll do something I request.  I did say MAYBE because it’s never ever been a sure thing anyway.

It’s always amazed me just how all things seem to be related in so many ways. There are millions of men out there who love using sports metaphors to explain almost everything but since I’m not a sports fanatic I tend to go my own way. As with women most vehicles and machinery require exactly the same treatment if you expect to get anything in return.  Cars, garden tractors, leaf blowers, wood chippers, and even things as small as battery operated face massagers need some TLC occasionally.  I’ve found that bathing them regularly and talking softly to them really goes a long way to keeping them happy and working properly.  As in all things a few loving caresses here and there won’t hurt either.

They all require constant attention and if they don’t get it then problems will almost certainly ensue.  So men, always remember that all of your mechanical devices require all of your time and effort to keep them happy. God help you if they think they’re being ignored, there will be hell to pay.

All of my former vehicles demanded on occasion a nice warm bath as well as a vigorous rubdown with scented cleaners.  I recommend that you make that part of your maintenance regime, you won’t be sorry.  Spending a little time, effort, and gentleness will pay off in a big way if you play your cards right. 
Talk to your vehicles as much as you can and never walk by without a gentle touch and a kind word.  Snuggle up in those nice soft seats and don’t be afraid to gently stroke her every so often.

Give it a try and you won’t believe the results.  Buy her a sweet smelling air freshener and maybe a cute set of floor mats and she’ll follow you anywhere. Gas her up regularly and maybe she’ll let you take her out on the expressway and blow the carbon out of her pipes and yours as well. 

Just saying.

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