I’m a bit tired today after yesterday’s drywall work.  If you’re expecting anything spectacular on this blog today you’re sure to be disappointed.  I often hear people on their blogs complaining about writer’s block. I’ve never had that problem but I seem to be suffering from a block for which I have no name.  It could possibly be called an ‘artists block’ or a ‘remodeling block’, or even a ‘get-the-hell-out-of-bed block’.  I’m feeling like a big giant lump with no motivation to do anything except write about how lazy I’m feeling.  Which for the record is mighty effing lazy. At the same time my mind is racing and I’m visualizing work that still needs to be completed on the remodel tomorrow.

Unfortunately for me when I’m working any kind of project I’m consumed not just by the work that I’ll be doing but by constant mental activity that I can’t turn off. It can also make sleeping extremely difficult.  Even after having my better-half tell me to take the day off, I struggle.  I should be relaxing and enjoying my down time but for me there is no real down time.

She’ll be talking to me about work or family and if I’m lucky I may get every other word or just a general idea of what the subject matter is.  I suspect she thinks I’m getting forgetful but that isn’t the case at all.  It also isn’t that I don’t care or I’m not interested, I’m just focused on my tasks at hand almost 100%.  It’s totally out of my control for the most part and it’s something I’ve resigned myself to dealing with.

Even as a kid I was consumed by my painting, sculpting, reading, and once I started something I kept at it until it was completed.  Especially my art work.  I’d start a painting and would work around the clock with little or no food or drink until it was finished.   I love that feeling of being in the moment and just staying there as long as possible is a real pleasure for me. 

At times I have difficulty getting a project started and will procrastinate a little. It’s not that I don’t want to do the project, it’s because I know that once I start I probably won ‘t be able to stop.  You could be in the same room with me and during those times you cease to exist. Even my surroundings in the room become a blur except for the piece I’m working on.  It can be maddening when interruptions occur  and I lose my temper and become difficult. 

I thought in my younger days that this compulsion would lessen as I grew older but it has not.  It’s been both a blessing and a curse over the years but I’m certain I would miss it if for some reason it just disappeared. I guess I’ll do my best to relax today but both my better-half and I know what I’ll be thinking about.  Tomorrows project.