09-05-2013   Leave a comment

I’ve stated thousands of times in the past that I’m NOT a fan of Country music.  My constant exposure to it as forced on me by my better-half has really and truly dulled my senses.  I’ve made my peace with that because I had no effing choice but just between you and I, I still hate C & W music.

I could give you any number of reasons why I hate it from the nerve shattering nasal twine of many of the singers to their choices of really stupid song titles and lyrics.  The following song titles have been discovered and passed on to you just to prove my point.  I’m not saying any of these titles made the Billboard charts but  they are just as stupid as I predicted.

  • I’ll Marry You Tomorrow But Let’s Honeymoon Tonight
  • I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
  • She’s Looking Better After Every Beer
  • I Ain’t Gone To Bed With No Ugly Women, But I Shore Woke Up With A Few
  • I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like Having You Here
  • I’ve Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin’ On My Back and Cryin’ Over You
  • She’s Actin’ Single and I’m Drinkin’ Doubles
  • I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim’s Gettin’ Better
  • Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
  • How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?
  • I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
  • I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You
  • I’m Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
  • If The Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me
  • My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don’t Love Jesus
  • My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
  • She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
  • Thank God And Greyhound She’s Gone
  • You Can’t Have Your Kate And Edith Too

So to those of you shit-kicking country folk out there you’d better get on-line as soon as possible and order this list of songs.  I’d hurry if I were you because rumor has it that the demand is huge and you might be placed on a waiting list.  They also may require that you take a short  IQ test to insure you’re stupid enough to own them.  

I’m writing this while my better-half is at work and I’ll do whatever I can to keep her from reading this posting tonight. She’s sure to throw a hissy fit and make me listen to even more of this alleged music than before. I’m not sure I could survive that.  Hep me Jesus and Yee Haw, Y’all.

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