I’m a huge fan of statistics. No matter how you shake them out you can always get them to support your idea. I know because I’ve done it a few times myself and they made me look awfully smart. So, when I see information published and supported by statistics, I can’t wait to see how silly they are and how they might have been manipulated. Here are a few that made me smile.

• You’re unlikely to kill yourself by attempting suicide. Fewer than one in twenty-five suicide attempts are successful unless your a senior citizen. They take it more serious with a success rate of one in four.

• More than 70% of serious injuries at American colleges and universities are caused by cheerleading.

• You have a better chance of being killed by a donkey than of dying in a plane crash.

• You’re slightly more likely to die from a cave-in than from contact with tap water.

• It’s more likely you will die from your pajamas catching fire than from the bite of a venomous spider.

• Mosquitos are the deadliest animal on earth causing human deaths at 600,000 per year.

• More people are killed each year by freshwater snails than by salt-water crocodiles.

• You’re slightly more likely to drown in a bathtub than to die from electrocution.

• More than 100 billion (give or take a few million) people have died in the history of the world.

• And last a really stupid death. Cynthia was a topless dancer who died while performing her famous act of jumping out of a cake. Unfortunately, the cake was well constructed and apparently airtight. Cynthia suffocated after waiting 90 minutes to surprise the lucky groom.

*****

GOTTA LOVE STATISTICS