If you’ve read this blog at all you already know I’m a bit of a hoarder of adages, phrases, idioms, and anything else that interests me. Today I’ll supply you with a list of twenty-five of my favorite sayings. Some are quotes from well-known people, but most are ones that I picked up along the way from whoever was lucky enough to speak them to me. Maybe you’ll find a few that tickle your fancy or your funny bone or both. Enjoy.

• Everyone Lies About Sex

• Religious men are fools! Fools should be taken lightly.

• A parent is a little kid pretending to be a big kid so his little kid won’t be afraid.

• Being involved with two women is like playing pool on two tables. You may have enough balls for it but you’ll wear out your stick.

• The ten best years of a woman’s life are between the ages of twenty-nine and thirty.

• When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

• A yawn is a silent shout.

• The great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom respectable.

• They are no premature babies, only delayed weddings.

• There’s always free cheese in a mousetrap.

• Chastity is curable if detected early.

• If Christian nations were nations of Christians, there would be no wars.

• Colleges don’t make fools, they only develop them.

• Common sense could prevent most divorces and all marriages.

• It is not death that alarms me but dying.

• A diplomat is a person who always remembers a women’s birthday, but never her age.

• In wine there is truth.

• He who hesitates is last.

• It’s not the men in my life I worry about, it’s the life in my men.

• A pessimist thinks all women are bad. An optimist hopes they are.

• The ultimate rejection is when your hand falls asleep while masturbating.

• Sex is only dirty, if its done right.

• Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

• I prefer an interesting vice to a boring virtue.

• I am not young enough to know everything.

DID YOU FIND ANY YOU LIKED?