Archive for the ‘sayings’ Tag

09/16/2021 Favorite Sayings & Quotes   Leave a comment

For years I’ve collected lists, sayings, and quotations. The more I find, the more you get to read. One of these days I’m going to sit down and put together some of my thoughts, my limericks, and my musings. They’re sure to be just as interesting as these folks. And in

  • It’s not death that alarms me, but dying surely does.
  • A diplomat is a person who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never her age.
  • In wine there is truth. Pliny the Elder
  • It’s not the men in my life I worry about, it’s the life in my men. Mae West
  • I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money. Will Rogers
  • Fish and guests smell in three days. Ben Franklin
  • A pessimist thinks all women are bad and an optimist hopes they are.
  • The ultimate rejection is when your hand falls asleep while masturbating.
  • Sex is only dirty, if it’s done right.
  • A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. Joseph Stalin
  • Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
  • I prefer an interesting device to a boring virtue.
  • What goes around, comes around.
  • He who hesitates is last. Mae West
  • Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. Gloria Steinem
  • I am not young enough to know everything.
  • The zoo is a place of refuge were savage beasts are protected from people.

I found this list while digging around in some old boxes a few days ago. I eliminated a few that were dated like cheap shots at Bill Clinton. But those that remain I felt were worth sharing with you. Most of them I absolutely love especially those pearls of wisdom supplied by Mae West. Would’ve loved to have met her.

GO WEST (MAE) YOUNG MAN

08/28/2021 My Favorite Sayings   Leave a comment

I’ve mentioned on many occasions about how my family and friends supply me with odd bits of information. It started decades ago and over the years I’ve read thousands of tidbits of information, sayings and quotations. When I found one that really grabbed me I’d write it down in my notebook. I’m going to list a number of them here today because I’m sure you’ll enjoy them. I don’t know the authors of many of these but that’s totally irrelevant. It’s the information that’s interesting, not so much the person who supplied it. I feel these sayings are worth repeating. Here they are…

  • Everyone lies about sex.
  • Religious men are fools!. Fools should be taken lightly.
  • The 10 best years of a woman’s life are between the ages of 29 and 30.
  • A parent is a little kid pretending to be a big kid so his little kid won’t be afraid.
  • Being involved with two women is like playing pool on two tables. You may have enough balls for it but you’ll wear out your stick.
  • When angry, count to 4; when very angry, swear.
  • A yawn is a silent shout.
  • The great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom respectable.
  • There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings.
  • There’s always free cheese in a mousetrap.
  • Chastity is curable if detected early.
  • The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of their tires.
  • If Christian nations were nations of Christians, there would be no wars.
  • Colleges don’t make fools, they only develop them.
  • Common Sense could prevent most divorces and all marriages.

* * *

Well there you have it. Today’s list of interesting and sometimes humorous thoughts and quotations. There will be more to come in the near future.

HAVE A GREAT DAY

02-09-2014 Hooray, It’s Cliché Day!   1 comment

cli·ché

/kliˈʃeɪ, klɪ-/  [klee-shey, kli-] noun

1.a trite, stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase, usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea, that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse, as sadder but wiser, or strong as an ox.

2.(in art, literature, drama, etc.) a trite or hackneyed plot, character development, use of color, musical expression, etc.

3.anything that has become trite or commonplace through overuse.

4.British Printing.

a. a stereotype or electrotype plate.

b. a reproduction made in a like manner.

adjective

5.trite; hackneyed; stereotyped; clichéd.

The word cliché comes from two origins:

  • A sound – The French used the word to describe the sound that a matrix, or a mold with letters on it, made when it was being dropped into molten metal to make a printing plate.
  • A printing plate – Oddly enough, the printing plate itself was called a cliché or a stereotype and it was one of the first movable types in the world.

* * *

I like to stay ahead of the game and to be all things to all men but that’s easier said than done at times. I always try to hammer out  things, leave no stone unturned, to give you a leg up on  events and to dish the dirt religiously. 

I love to punch the clock, push the envelope, and push people’s buttons whenever possible. I may pull someone’s leg but I’ll never pull any punches or leave you in the lurch. I’m the master of the left-handed compliment and I’ll do my level best to harp on a point and let the chips fall where they may.

I probably should quit while I’m ahead but I so enjoy pulling the rug out from under people who need it.  I’ll  let the cat out of the bag in a New York minute because it’s all in a day’s work here at Every Useless Thing.

I’ve seen the handwriting on the wall while pounding this Internet pavement and while I operate tongue-in-cheek I’ll touch all the bases, tilt at the appropriate windmills and draw a bead on whoever tickles my fancy.

I try to fair and balanced but sometimes it’s a tough row to hoeIt goes without saying that the Internet can be all things to all men but many people love playing fast and loose with the truth.  It occasionally causes me to throw caution to the wind, find the liars and throw them under the bus. 

With this posting I’m trying to determine if I could on a good day use clichés to make small talk and supply you with food for thought.  Most days I operate off the top of my head scrounging around for nuggets of information to help me let off a little steam. To make a long story short, I’ll never hold my tongue. I’ll continue to call a spade a spade especially when I’m on the warpath about something. Don’t believe everything I say hook, line and sinker but if the shoe fits, wear it.

IT’S ALL IN A DAY’S WORK!

12-30-2013 Humorous New Year’s Thoughts   2 comments

I thought today’s posting should reflect the thoughts and feelings of someone other than myself concerning the New Year and the accompanying celebrations. I’d normally throw in a few celebrity quotes about New Year’s but I’m not going to do that this year. I’ve learned over the years that the best common sense quotations are written by only one person, Anonymous.

The following collection of thoughts were collected from and written by  people who wish to remain anonymous. Being anonymous gives a person a certain amount of freedom to say what they really think and to be as sarcastic and humorous as necessary. This is the stuff I love and I think you will too.

Almost everything I could think of saying about New Year’s, the celebrations, and the big party in the Big Apple, are reflected in these anonymous thoughts. It never ceases to amaze me just how funny and insightful we humans can be.  See if you agree.

* * *

  • I do not make new year’s resolutions. The only thing I do in excess is be awesome, I’m not going to stop that in 2014.
  • I probably shouldn’t be making any new resolutions this year…mainly because I’m still working on the ones from last year.
  • Let’s kiss on New Year’s Eve 2013 as if we might have a future together in 2014.
  • Let’s resolve to repeat last year’s mistakes.
  • Here’s to ending the New Year still having a job that you still wish you didn’t have.
  • This year let’s resolve to make better bad decisions.
  • My New Year’s resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes.
  • I hope the world ends in 2014 so I can’t be held accountable for my New Year’s resolutions.
  • Thanks for inviting me to a New Year’s party I’ll have no recollection of attending.
  • My excuses for already failing my New Year’s resolution are more complicated than the fiscal cliff deal.
  • Let’s never speak of 2013 again.
  • May the New Year bring you significantly more joy than the holidays did.
  • My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
  • Let’s put significant pressure on ourselves to have a fun New Year’s Eve.
  • Let’s pencil each other in for a New Year’s Eve kiss, with the understanding we’ll drop each other if someone better comes along.
  • I resolve to stop having meaningless sex in 2014, so I suggest you pay me a compliment or get me liquored up ASAP.

  • My resolution is to spend more time avoiding friends and family.
  • I want to kiss you at midnight and pork you at dawn.
  • It may be the antidepressants talking, but I’m feeling somewhat optimistic about 2014.
  • Now that the holiday blues are over, let’s resume our everyday melancholy.
  • Here’s to drinking enough that we’ll need Ryan Seacrest to help us count backwards from ten.
  • Here’s to having a fresh start at binge eating, boozing, and slacking off.
  • Lets attend an opulent New Year’s Eve party so we can briefly ignore the horror of our impending poverty.
  • Wishing you even a minuscule percentage of the wealth and attention that has been showered upon the Kardashian fetus in 2013.
  • My resolution is to get healthier while still destroying myself with alcohol and drugs.
  • I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.
  • Gaining 20 lbs over the holidays makes your New Year’s resolution of losing 10 less impressive.
  • Let’s decide which champagne we’re going to barf.
  • I always thought by 2013 we would have flying cars. Instead, we have blankets with sleeves.
  • The only thing I gained from 2013 was weight.
  • Dear God, my prayer for 2014 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t mix these up like you did this year.
  • This year, I’m just making one New Year’s resolution: Stop making resolutions. My only other resolution is to quit breaking my resolutions.

* * *

I enjoyed more than a few chuckles reading through this list and I can’t think of a thing I’d want to add. I hope your New Year’s celebration remains somewhat sane and that you return safely home in one piece.  You wouldn’t want to start 2014 with any broken bones, wrecked vehicles, or DUI’s.

Everyuselessthing will return on 01-02-2014

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!!

Drink Responsibly

07-09-2013   Leave a comment

I receive a few emails each week and unfortunately some of them are more than a little rude.  The people who send those messages apparently don’t wish to have their user ID’s published in my Comments section.  Every once in a great while I receive something that makes me smile and when that occurs I pass it along to you.

Recently I was sent the following information from an anonymous emailer.  He claimed he likes reading my postings that contain quotations.  He collected a few of his own from friends and other unknown sources and sent them along. In my opinion they seem more like bumper stickers than quotations but  I’m forwarding them along on the side chance you’ll get a chuckle or two. I’m also really glad I don’t know any of this guys friends because some of these are sooooo freaking lame.  Hold your nose with one hand and read on. 

  • A day without sunshine is like, night.
  • I just got lost in thought and believe me It was unfamiliar territory.
  • Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the hydrant.
  • 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  • A vasectomy means never having to say you’re sorry.
  • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  • I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging. It’ll be called You-Twit-Face.
  • Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.
  • Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
  • Birds of a feather flock together, and crap on your car.
  • I can resist everything except temptation.
  • If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
  • Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
  • Born free, taxed to death.
  • Smile, it makes people wonder what you’re thinking.
  • In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
  • Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think about it,  neither does milk.
  • In order to get a loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.
  • Silence is golden… duck tape is silver.

The only one I really liked and appreciated was the last one on the list. For some reason that one just clicked for me.  At first I laughed and then after thinking about it for a moment or two realized just how true it is and laughed again.  Sometime it’s necessary to break up the day with a little silliness and that one did it for me. 

So here’s a special thanks to Mr. Anonymous for his contribution.  Next time send me some actual quotations because I love reading them too.

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