“Malaprop“

The mistaken use of a word in place of a similar sounding one, often with unintentionally

amusing effect, as in, for example, “dance a flamingo” (instead of flamenco).

Today’s posting will be a shout out to all of those educators that spend so much of their time attempting to teach our younger generations anything. It’s a difficult job on the good days and it’s even worse on the bad days. I thought I’d list a selection of what are called malaprops taken from actual test papers and essays from some grade schoolers, high schoolers, and selected college examinations. These are things of beauty.

• Women like to do things in circles, where they sew, talk, and do their meddling.

• “Don’t” is a contraption.

• Italics are what Italians write in.

• The government of Athens was Democratic because the people took the law into their own hands.

• Antarctica is like the regular Arctic, but ritzier.

• He worked in the government as a civil serpent.

• You purify water by filtering it and then forcing it through an aviator.

• The doctor felt the man’s purse and said there was no hope.

• The government of England is a limited mockery.

• The first book of the Bible is a book of Guinness’s.

“IT IS BEYOND MY APPREHENSION.”