I’m not sure you’ve noticed but periodically over the last 18 months I’ve posted a series of questions to help people examine their lives. Some of the responses from readers were excellent and a few others not so much. I took some time off from posting these questions due to a recent injury, but I would like to continue today with ten additional questions, Installment #12. If you find them interesting, you might want to check my archives for the first eleven installments. I last posted on this subject on 5/2/23. Answer the questions honestly with your spouse and/or partner. It will definitely make for interesting conversations and discussions. Here we go . . .
How old were you when you first had sexual intercourse?
If you are leading 100 people, whose lives are in danger, and you must choose between two courses of action. One would save only 90 people; the other would have a 50% chance of saving everyone but were it to fail everyone would die. Which would you choose?
If you went to a movie with a friend and it was lousy, would you leave?
For $1 million would you be willing to never again see or talk to your best friend?
What do you like best about your life? least?
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Have you ever disliked someone for being lucky or more successful than you?
A cave-in occurs while you and a stranger are in a concrete room deep in a mineshaft. Before the phone goes dead, you learn the entire mine is sealed and the air hole being drilled will not reach you for 30 hours. If you both take sleeping pills from the medicine chest, the oxygen will last for only 20 hours. Both of you can’t survive; alone, one of you might. After you both realize this, the stranger takes several sleeping pills, says that it is in God’s hands, and falls asleep. You have a pistol; what do you do?
When you are given a compliment do you usually acknowledge it or suggest that you really do not deserve it?
What sorts of things would you do if you could be as outgoing and uninhibited as you wish? Do you usually initiate friendships or wait to be approached?
If you decided to do something and your friends strongly advise you not to, could you do it anyway?
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Another few installments will follow, and they will finish this series. I know how much I’ve enjoyed the discussions that they’ve created with my better-half, and I hope you give them a try.
Welcome to installment #9. These questions are a little more intense but very interesting answers should be forthcoming. And for those of you who feel these questions are dark and threatening, here’s one for you tamer or lamer folks: How many cute and furry puppies must you save from a fate worse than death to be considered a true pet lover? LOL
Let’s get going!
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If you were able to wake up tomorrow in the body of someone else, would you do so? Whom would you pick?
If you are happily married, and then met someone you felt certain would always bring you deeply passionate, intoxicating love, would you leave your spouse? What if you had kids?
When you do something ridiculous, how much does it bother you to have other people notice it and laugh at you?
Who is the most important person in your life? What could you do to improve the relationship? Will you ever do it?
Assuming that complete recovery was instantaneous, would you be willing to accept a year of complete paralysis below the neck to prevent the otherwise certain extinction of the blue whale?
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Do you believe in capital punishment? Would you be willing to execute a man sentenced to death by the courts if you were selected by lot to do so and he would go free if you refused? Assume you know no details of the trial.
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
You are at a lake with some friends; the sun is warm, and the water is cold. Going into the water would temporarily chill you but you knew that later on the warm sun would be even more enjoyable and you’d be glad you had gone in. Would you take the plunge?
Do you believe in any sort of God? If not, do you think you might still pray if you were in a life-threatening situation?
While out one day, you are surprised to see your mother holding hands with someone who is clearly her lover. She notices you, runs over, and begs you not to say anything to your father. How would you respond? What would you do if your father later told you that he was going crazy because he kept thinking your mother was having an affair yet knew it was just his imagination?
*****
If 100 people your age were chosen at random, how many do you think you’d find leading a more satisfying life than yours?
If you went to a beach and it turned out to be a nude beach, would you stay and go swimming? Would you swim nude?
Have you had satisfying sex within the last three months?
Would it disturb you much if, upon your death, your body were simply thrown into the woods and left to rot? Why?
Which would you prefer: a wild, turbulent life filled with joy, sorrow, passion, and adventure – intoxicating successes and stunning setbacks; or a happy, secure, predictable life surrounded by friends and family without such wide swings of fortune and mood?
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IF THESE QUESTION DON’T PROVOKE DISCUSSION, NOTHING WILL!
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”Socrates
It’s once again time to introduce installment number seven of this series. As I’ve posted them, I’ve found the conversations between myself and my better-half to be quite interesting. Some of my answers have surprised her and some of hers have surprised me. That’s a good thing for any relationship when after twenty or more years together you can still be pleasantly surprised by each other. Let’s get started . . .
One hot summer afternoon, while walking through a parking lot at a large shopping center, you notice a dog suffering badly from the heat inside a locked car. What would you do?
Do you feel ill at ease going alone to either dinner or a movie? What about going on a vacation by yourself?
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?
For $20,000 would you go for three months without washing, brushing your teeth, or using deodorant? Assume you could not explain your reasons to anyone.
Would you rather die peacefully among friends at age 50, or painfully and alone at age 80? Assume that most of the last 30 years would be good ones.
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If you were to discover that your closest friend was a heroin dealer, what would you do?
Is it easy for you to accept help when you need it? Will you ask for help?
If you were helping to raise money for charity and someone agreed to make a large contribution if you would perform at the upcoming fundraising show, would you? If so, what would you like to perform? Assume the show would have an audience of about 1000 people.
Would you have one of your fingers surgically removed if it somehow guaranteed immunity from all major diseases?
Would you like to be famous? In what way?
*****
How do you picture your funeral? Is it important for you to have people mourn your death?
Which of the following restrictions could you best tolerate: leaving the country permanently, or never leaving the state in which you now live?
You, your closest friend, and your father are on vacation together, hiking in a remote jungle. Your two companions stumble into a nest of poisonous vipers and are bitten repeatedly. You know neither will live without an immediate shot of antivenom, yet there is only a single dose of antivenom and that is in your pocket. What would you do?
Where would you choose to be if you could place yourself anywhere on a scale from 1 to 10, where one is hardship, struggle, and extraordinary accomplishment and 10 is comfort, peace of mind, and no accomplishment. Why? Where are you now?
If you could choose the sex and physical appearance of your soon to be born child, would you do it?
Today is as good a day as any to continue this series with installment #5. It should make for interesting discussions to start the new year. I hope you enjoy these topics because they seem to be more interesting than those that came before. Just remember:
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
Socrates
Can you urinate in front of another person?
If you walk out of your house one morning and saw a bird with a broken wing huddled in some nearby bushes, what would you do?
Assume there were a technological breakthrough that would allow people to travel as easily and cheaply between continents as between nearby cities. Unfortunately, there would also be 100,000 deaths a year from the device. Would you try to prevent its use?
You and a person you love deeply are placed in separate rooms with a button next to each of you. You know you will both be killed unless one of you presses your button before 60 minutes pass; furthermore, the first to press the button will save the other person but will immediately be killed. What do you think you would do?
When you tell a story, do you often exaggerate or embellish it? If so, why?
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Do you feel that advice from older people carries a special weight because of their greater experience?
Without your kidney as a transplant, someone close to you will die within one month. The odds that you will survive the operation are only 50%, but should you survive, you would be certain of a normal life expectancy. Would you consent to the operation?
When has your life dramatically changed as the result of some seemingly random external influence? How much do you feel in control of the course of your life?
If a friend were almost always late, would you resent it or simply allow for it? Can you be counted on to be on time?
When did you last yell at someone? Why? Did you later regret it?
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Would you be willing to have horrible nightmares every night for a year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary wealth?
If you could have free, unlimited service for five years from an extremely good cook, chauffeur, housekeeper, masseuse, or personal secretary, which would you choose?
Would you be willing to go to a slaughterhouse? Do you eat meat?
Would you enjoy spending a month of solitude in a beautiful natural setting? Food and shelter would be provided but you would not see another person.
After a medical examination, your doctor calls and gravely says you have a rare lymphatic cancer with only a few months to live. Five days later, she informs you that the lab test was mislabeled, and you are perfectly healthy. Forced for a moment to look death in the face, you have been allowed to turn and go on. During those difficult days you would certainly have gained some insights about yourself. Do you think they would be worth the pain?
The crappy weather continues here in Maine giving me an overabundance of reading time. Recently I picked up a small book at a local church flea market for $.50 and as I began reading it I thought it would make an interesting discussion for the blog.
Half the fun of living your life is examining the hell out of it as you get older and hopefully smarter. I know I’ve second guessed virtually every decision I’ve ever made in my life. I always seem to have a better answer now than I had with the original decision. Things I thought as a teenager and in my early twenties sound so stupid now it’s a little scary.
This book’s all about difficult questions designed to make us think about ourselves and our decision making capabilities. There are no right or wrong answers but they will challenge your common sense and good=headedness.
I’ll list 10 questions with my own answers below. If you’re interested after that then take a few minutes and jot down your own answers. I recommend that you do it together with your partner, significant other, or spouse. I’m sure that regardless of the answers they’re sure to spark a few interesting discussions about your differences. Lets get started:
1. If you could spend one year of your life in perfect happiness but afterward would remember nothing of the experience would you do so? If not, why not?
a. I think I’d pass on this one. If I couldn’t remember the happiness then it never really happened and what’s the point.
2. If a new medicine were developed that would cure arthritis but cause a fatal reaction in 1% of those who took it, would you want it to be released to the public?
a. If I’ve done my math correctly that means that out of every million people treated, 10,000 would die. That’s insanity and a big no from me.
3. Would you accept $1,000,000 to leave the country and never set foot in it again?
a. That would be a big “Hell No”.
4. Would you be willing to become extremely ugly physically if it meant you would live for 1,000 years at any physical age you chose?
a. No thank you. To me a thousand years of being terribly ugly would be worse than dying.
5. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability or quality, what would it be?
a. I’d want the ability to speak and understand every language on earth.
6. Would you accept twenty years of extraordinary happiness and fulfillment if it meant you would die at the end of the period?
a. No thank you.
7. If the person you were engaged to marry had an accident and became a paraplegic, would you go through with the marriage or back out of it?
a. I must have loved that person very much or wouldn’t have wanted a marriage. It’s a commitment I’d honor completely.
8. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your dinner guest?, as your close friend? , and as your lover?
a. Dinner Guest: Any wounded veteran; Close Friend: Bill Gates; Lover: Rachael Hendrix. The Close Friend and Lover could change at a moments notice because friends and lovers come and go. The Dinner Guest would remain the same permanently.
9. A good friend pulls off a well-conceived practical joke that plays on one of your foibles and makes you look ridiculous. How would you react?
a. I’d be a little embarrassed at first, laugh a little for a few minutes, and then begin planning some good old down-home REVENGE.
10. For $20,000 would you go for three months without washing, brushing your teeth, or using deodorant? Assume you could not explain your reasons to anyone.
a. No how, no way . . . . but I might reconsider it for $100,000.
Believe it or not I’m a really a sensitive guy. You really can’t listen to rumor or the personal opinions of people who may be biased in some fashion. With that being said I need to remind everyone that it’s mid-October here in Maine, the warm weather is slowly fading away leaving us with crisp and cold nights and sunny days with chilly winds. Now that you’ve been given the official EveryUseLessThing weather report you understand it’s that time of the year for the anticipated “change of season”. We’ve now seen the return of football, new TV programming, and the soon to be migration of hundreds of thousands of senior citizens making their Fall pilgrimage to look at the freaking leaves. This is also the time of the year where my better-half and I begin our annual Fall battle over heating the house.
Those of you who heat with heating oil understand just how much money is spent on keeping the home fires burning through a long New England winter. With the costs of heating oil skyrocketing every year at this time, every drop you save is money in your pocket. As much as I agree with saving money there are times when I must disagree. This is one of those times.
In remodeling this home two years ago we required that it be "tight". That means as much heat as possible remains in the house and doesn’t escape through any uninsulated areas. We were very successful with that upgrade but it causes it’s own problems. When the house is that “tight” and the heat is not yet been turned on, the insulation keeps the cold night air inside the house. Our situation now is a little strange. For most of the morning our house is freezing cold and the cold air can’t escape. We’re forced to go outside to warm up once the sun comes out. It’s stupid but true.
That’s where the war starts every year. I try to explain to my better-half that it’s necessary to turn on the heat at a very low level to help eliminate the residual cold air from the previous night. She just doesn’t get it and refuses to turn on the heat at all. I’m being forced to wear three layers of clothing just to watch TV and then when I go outside I find myself removing a layer or two to be comfortable. I suppose I could just turn the heat on and disregard her feelings entirely but that would escalate the war and extend it for many weeks. The recriminations and potential revenge scenarios come into play with more arguing and mean spirited discussions expected. It’s a freaking conundrum.
Thank God for our industrial strength electric blanket. It’s the only thing keeping me from becoming highly disagreeable. A few days ago it was so cold I was forced to spend eight hours sitting in our bed with the blanket at a high level just to be comfortable. We’re at the breaking point with this issue now and I’m almost convinced that it’ll be worth fighting with her for another month or two if I can just get the heat on for a few hours in the morning. She may get a huge surprise when she gets home from work and finds the house warmer and more livable.
I’m not a heat fanatic by any means. We maintain our thermostats at no more than 62 degrees for most of the winter anyway. By taking the time to write this posting I’ve convinced myself to "grow a pair" and just turn the effing heat on. Enough of this nonsense. I’ve taken a vote and my better-half votes NO to heat but me and my “nuts” vote YES. That’s three to one and she loses. On comes the furnace tomorrow morning and let the “Great Heat War of 2013” begin.
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