Quote of the Day

“Women complain about sex more often than men. Their gripes

fall into two major categories: (1) Not enough, (2) Too much.”

Ann Landers 1968

Joke of the Day

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway. “Oh, my God, hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband’s home early!” “I can’t jump out of the window. It’s raining out there!” “If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!” She replied. “He’s got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!” So, the boyfriend scooted out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window. As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon, so he started running along beside the other runners, about 300 of them. Being naked with his clothes under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could, but after a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity jogged a bit closer. “Do you always run in the nude?” one asked. “Oh yes!” he replied, gasping for air. “It feels so wonderfully free!” Another runner moved alongside. “Do you always run carrying your clothes under your arm?” “Oh, yes,” our friend answered thinking quickly.” That way I can get dressed right of the end of the race and get in my car to go home!” Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, “Do you always wear a condom when you run?” “Nope . . . only when it’s raining.”

Limerick of the Day

There was a young lady of Maine

Who declared she’d a man on the brain.

But you knew from the view.

Of the way her waist grew,

It was not on her brain that he’d lain.

Daily Wisdom

Q. What do parsley and pubic hair have in common?

A. You push them both aside and keep on eating.

An Anonymous Non-PETA Contributor

&

“The right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing.”

A Dyslectic Anonymous Ambidextrous Masturbater

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