Archive for the ‘limerick’ Tag

04/28/2022 Mish Mosh   1 comment

Stupid Headline

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Stupid Bumper Sticker

Be Careful-90% of People are Caused by Accidents

Smart Quote

“Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens.”

Aldous Huxley 1959

Stupid Quote

“If you stay here much longer, you’ll be slitty eyed”

Prince Philip to British students in China

Rude Limerick

A hapless young fellow named Schmuck,

Considers himself out of luck.

Though he’s petted and wooed,

When he tries to get screwed,

He finds that virgins don’t give a fuck.

THE WEEKEND IS COMING

04/16/2022 😁Alerts😝   2 comments

First, a retro bumper sticker from the 1970’s:

SORRY, I DON’T DATE OUTSIDE MY SPECIES

Secondly, an off-the-wall NY Yankee headline:

A-Rod Goes Deep, Wang Hurt.

Thirdly, a quote all Americans should read and remember:

“My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.”

Adlai Stevenson

And last but not least a memorable limerick about limericks:

The limerick’s an art form complex,

Whose contents run chiefly to sex.

It’s famous for virgins

And masculine urgings,

And vulgar, erotic effects.

04/05/2022 Utter Nonsense   Leave a comment

STUPID HEADLINE

DEER WITH BIG RACK IS FEMALE, IT TURNS OUT

RETRO BUMPER STICKERS

I’M BI-COASTAL

RETIRED. NO PHONE. NO ADDRESS. NO MONEY

ANSWER MY PRAYERS. STEAL THIS EFFING CAR

BEYOND BITCH

BEER MADE ME WHAT I AM TODAY

STUPID QUOTES by Ralph Kiner

Ralph Kiner, Pittsburgh Pirates Hall of Fame slugger, was the broadcast voice of the Mets in the 60’s. For all of you baseball fans out there, here are a few of his gems.

“Today is Father’s Day, so to all of you fathers out there, we’d just like to say, Happy Birthday!”

“Solo homers usually come with no one on base.”

“Tony Gwynn was named player of the year for April”

If Casey Stengel were alive today, he’d be spinning in his grave.”

ONE RUDE LIMERICK by Isaac Azimov

There was an old fellow from Tripoli

Who used to make love rather nippily.

Said his angry young lass

While rubbing her ass,

“Less teethily, please, and more lippily.”

🍆🍆🍆

THANKFULLY SPRING IS COMING SOON

❤Limerick Alert❤   2 comments

JB was a naive little shit

Because no-one would tickle her tit.

It would’ve made her so glad

To be had by a lad,

Her panties moistened at the mere thought of it.

🍆Limerick Alert🍆   7 comments

While undressing a nurse named JV,

Her seducer observed: “So I see

That a nipple a day

Keeps the doctor away,

Think how healthy these two must be!”

🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   Leave a comment

Christmas Eve the night of all nights.

Flying around delivering toys a delight.

It certainly helps when the flask from the elves,

Helps Santa sleep better at night.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   Leave a comment

There was a farmer named Gary
Whose mule was getting contrary.
Gary painted him red,
A green hat on his head.
Sold him as a huge Christmas fairy.

12/15/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

A remarkable race are the Persians:
They embrace such peculiar diversions;
They make love all day
In the usual way,
And save, till the nights, their perversions.

🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   Leave a comment

Santa’s sleigh and GPS were upgraded this year,

With Alexa in charge of all eight reindeer.

Rudolph rudely told Santa, this change really blows,

As Santa screamed loudly, “Alexa, turn on his freaking nose!”

HO! HO! HO!

🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   4 comments

There once was a woman named Bess
For whom holiday cooking meant stress.
Five puddings, ten turkeys
And a thousand beef jerkeys –
Bess did tend to cook to excess!

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