Archive for the ‘multi-cultural’ Tag

01-21-2013   Leave a comment

In the past I’ve complained about certain things in New England that bother me and I’m going to do it all over again today. There are times when I’m just plain embarrassed to be living in Maine.  I was born and raised in the mill towns and bars of western Pennsylvania where the people take great pride in themselves in almost everything they do.  They love their Steelers, their Pirates, and their down-to-earth common sense approach to all things.  I’m most proud of a dying “art form” superbly represented by the people there, world class cussing.  It’s learned at an early age but takes many years of practice to really do it justice.

At age three I was sitting on a street corner in Natrona, Pa. with my grandfather and his buddies who paid me nickels and pennies to repeat cuss words.  I don’t specifically remember those days but I’ve been told by numerous people over the years who remember them all too well.  If by chance I uttered the occasional F-Bomb, I’d get a quarter and possibly an ice  cream cone.  So you have to admit I come by cussing honestly, it’s a family tradition.

Off course we all were raised as Steelers fans and if you didn’t curse loudly and often enough while watching their games then you were a goddamn traitor. You’d better be ready to voice your support for those Steelers loud and long as they kicked the shit out of those pussies from Cleveland and those cocksuckers from Texas. It takes a special knack to string numerous cuss words together for maximum effect and we have it.

Western Pennsylvania isn’t known for ethnic diversity but it should be. We lived in menagerie of Irish, Polish, Slovaks, Blacks, Italians, Asians, and the occasional Hispanic.  To be a professional cusser in our neighborhood you had to learn cuss words from at least six languages just to be properly understood.  We were all well on our way to being linguists of a sort in grade-school.  We were the fucking UN of goddamn cusswords and proud of it. 

I’ve lived in Maine now for more than ten years and I have to say that the cussing here is a little more laid back than I’m used to.  A little too polite and prissy for a boy from fucking Pennsylvania.  I actually look forward to trips back home where I can walk into a bar after twenty-five years in New England and have someone say, “Hey who let that motherfucker with the weird accent in here and is he buying the next goddamn round?”.  It’s just not the same here in Maine.  Two F-bombs in one sentence seems to be too much for Maine sensibilities. I think it’s the wrong headed French influences emanating from our neighbor to the north.  Well hell, if they don’t fucking like my style of cussing they can kiss my big fucking ass.

Just saying. 

Posted January 22, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Just Saying

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