Archive for the ‘cussing’ Tag

09/20/2021 Pennsylvania Loyalist   4 comments

Years ago my favorite blogger, the late, great, Acid Man, wrote a few hundred words on swearing, cussing, and the differences between the two. I am nowhere near as eloquent as he but here goes anyway.

I come from an area in the country known for its blue-collar roots, coal miners, mill workers, and some downright bad ass cusser’s. Western Pennsylvania is arrogant in its pride of self and I find myself guilty of that at times. At age four I was sitting on a street corner in Natrona, Pennsylvania with my grandfather and swearing for nickels and pennies from his buddies. If by chance I yelled the ultimate motherfucker, I got a quarter and some ice cream. So you have to admit I come by swearing honestly.

Of course we were all raised as avid Steeler fans and if you didn’t curse loudly and often enough while watching their games then you were a horse’s ass. Any bastard who called some other son-of-a-bitch a rotten prick was a no good shithead or so I’ve been told. You always had to be ready to voice your support for the Steelers as they kicked the shit out of those pussies from Cleveland and those bastards from Houston (hopefully).

We lived in a diverse area with Irish, Poles, Slavs, Blacks, Italians, and the occasional Hispanic. To be a professional cusser in our neighborhood you had to know cuss words in at least six different languages to be properly understood. We were the UN of fucking, half-assed, dirty rotten language and damn proud of it.

I’ve now lived in New England for more than 37 years and I have to admit that the swearing here is a little more laid back than I’m used to. A little too polite and prissy for a boy from fucking Pennsylvania. I actually look forward to trips back home where I can walk into a bar after 37 years of living in New England and have someone say, “Hey, who let that motherfucker in here and is he buying the next goddamn round?”. It’s just not the same here in New England. Two F-bombs in one sentence seems to be too much for New England sensibilities. Well hell, if they don’t fucking like it they can kiss my fucking ass.

I LOVE CUSSING AND “GO STEELERS”

RIGHT JB?

08/24/2021 A New American Tradition   Leave a comment

In the past I’ve written a few things on cursing and swearing. As I’ve often said, “proper cursing is a true art form”, but not really properly acknowledged or appreciated by the mainstream academics. It is the cherry on top of the English language sundae. Everyone knows that a sundae is so much tastier with the addition of a bright red cherry on top. That’s how I see cursing.

A few weeks ago as my better-half and I were spending some quality time at Walmart, I spotted two young gentlemen in their early teens in the Book Department. Young man #1 reached over and grabbed the book from young man #2, and stated “give me that focking book” (the actual word has been purposely misspelled to protect what few innocent ears are left). Young man #2 not to be outdone immediately replied, “it’s my book you focking asshole”. They argued back and forth for a while, dropped the book on the bench, and sped off to find their parents.

I started cursing and f-bombing at a young age too because that was how people in my neighborhood and family spoke. I came by cursing honestly and made a point of refining it as best I could. I’ve always been an overachiever and this was just another challenge to overcome. Listening to those two kids tells me that f-bombing and cursing is alive and well in focking Maine.

I’ve always found the word “fock” an amazing and versatile tool. It can be used as either a verb, adverb, adjective, imperative, interjection, or a noun.

“I got focked by a scam artist”, “My computer is focked.”, “You’re a fock or a focker”. A fock may be an act of sex or just a person who is an ass. The verb, to fock, may be used transitively or intransitive. It can be compounded as “Fock off“, “Fock you“, “Fock up“, and “Don’t fock with me”. A phrase such as “Don’t give a fock.”, makes the word an equivalent of damn. If something is very abnormal or annoying, “This is focked up.” may be used.

I think the word fock should be adopted by all Americans and used in the same fashion as aloha and shalom are used in Hawaii and Israel. It can mean just about anything we want and we should make it our official greeting and our official farewell. When foreign dignitaries and tourists arrive on our shores we should give them a peck on the cheek and a big “Fock you and welcome to America”. When they leave give them a pat on the ass and tell him to “Get the fock out”. They all think we’re a bunch of mouth-breathers anyway, so what’s the harm.

Being the ultimate diplomat was never my intent but I’m willing to step up and do what needs to be done. I’ll be more than happy to testify before any focking Congressional committees and attempt to convince them as focking Americans we need this immediately. Maybe they’ll focking listen but I don’t hold much hope for that. I’d probably just be wasting my focking breath.

HAVE A NICE FOCKING DAY FOLKS

4-30-2026 Journal–Cuss’in & Swear’in!   Leave a comment

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Now that I have grandchildren running through the house occasionally I’ve been forced to curb my use of all cusswords.  I’ve always loved cursing and swearing but stopping cold-turkey has been tough.  I have no doubt they’ll be picking up a few dozen new cuss words at home and especially at daycare. We can only hope they don’t pick up too many of the really good ones for a while yet.

I decided to do a little research into cussing as it applies to what will be their daily lives soon enough.  Before I do that I thought I’d give you a short history lesson too.  Here’s a few retro cusswords from back in the good old days.

 Old School Cussing

Heavens to Betsy

Jumpin’ Jahosafat

Yikes

Gadzooks

Holy cow

Sugar

Dagnabit

flippin’

Geez Louise

Jeez oh man,

Fudge

Eat it … RAW

Hell’s bells

Oh Shoot

Great Caesar’s Ghost

Jiminy Cricket

Holy Mary-Mother of God

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They sound so lame to us now but back in the day they got the job done with us kids.  My Mom knew all of these and a few more modern words as well.  Now lets take a look at cusswords in use in the USA today. Some fool took the time to do a study to determine what states used certain cusswords  the most. Here are the results.

Asshole – New England, Nevada, Oregon, Utah, Arizona

Bitch – Texas through the Carolinas – Along the coast.

Darn – Most of the Great Plains states.

Shit – Texas to Delaware along the coast.

Fuck – All coastal states, East, West, and South.

Motherfucker – Southwestern states and Maine’s

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Before too long our grandchildren will on the Web and getting introduced to Facebook and Twitter and all of the associated idiots who roam there. Here is some information and usage on both of those sites.

Twitter

Detailed work by researchers at Wright State University in Ohio has found that 34.7% of all the swearwords in their sample of 51m tweets were "fuck" or one of its long list of cognates.

In comparison, the second and third most popular swearwords – "shit" and "ass" – accounted for 15.0% and 14.5% respectively, while other highlights included "bitch" (10.3%), "hell" (4.5%), "whore" (1.8%), "dick" (1.7%), "piss" (1.5%) and "pussy" (1.2%). Between them, the top seven make up 90.6% of all the swearing on Twitter.

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Facebook

Someday, when aliens are sifting through Facebook data to find out what 21st-century humans thought and cared about, they’re going to see a lot of shit. That’s the most popular swear word on Facebook, according to an analysis by Slate. In the three-day period queried, shit appeared in 10.5 million U.S. Facebook interactions, fuck in 9.5 million, damn in 6.3 million, bitch in 4.5 million, and crap in 2 million.

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This next section applies directly to Rap Music. It’s always been known for bad language and we find out now that criticism was totally justified.  I feel bad for the fool that had to sit through this terrible music to complete this study.  It must have been brutal.

Rap Music

  • 217.7 cuss words-per-album average.
  • One song from the study had, on average, 13.76 instances of profanity.
  • Too $hort’s 1985 album Raw, Uncut & X-Rated was the most profane album, clocking 49.8 curse words per song.
  • The most profane artists per song were The Geto Boys, as they uttered cuss words on average 46.4 times per song. The second-most vulgar artist? Geto Boys’ Scarface, with 33.3 cuss words per song.
  • Bun B’s song “Some Hoes” had the most instances of profanity in its lyrics with over 113 cuss words. The words “nigga” (51 times) and “ho” (46) make up the majority. However, the study qualifies that Lil Jon’s “Roll Call” is perhaps the most vulgar with 329 cuss words but it was not used in the study.
  • The most profane year in Hip-Hop from the study was 2001 with 22.66 cuss words per song.

If both grandson’s can last more than fifteen minutes in this cuss filled society without becoming cussing experts it will be nothing short of a miracle.  Since I believe that “turn-about is fair play” I’ll just wait until they start cussing on their own then I’ll step in and add a few of mine.

SHIT ! ! !

IF IT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR FACEBOOK, IT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

04-18-2015 Journal – Lawn Tractors & Cuss Words!   Leave a comment

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I decided to do that one big job I had scheduled for today before I blogged anything.  That may have been a huge mistake.  I’ve been putting off doing some repair work to my lawn tractor that  still refuses to start.  I knew it would be a frustration for me because I hate doing things mechanical.  The only mechanical person in my entire  family was my late father who maintained a large float-glass factory for PPG for more than forty years.  He knew everything about machines and he taught me only enough to get me into trouble.  He also over the years taught me how to really and truly cuss.  I was never aware of how many cuss words could be strung together until I worked with him on a few of his projects.

Pop was a professional  cusser and damn proud of it.  I ‘m more like him than I care to admit and if  today was any example I may be better now than he was then.  This effing tractor is driving me insane.  I  was tempted today to just drive it out into the middle of the back yard, douse it with gasoline, and a have a freaking bonfire.

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After I thought about it a while I decided that doing that would then turn into something else entirely. With my luck some A-Hole from the town might ride by, check to see if I had a burn permit, and then call the cops when they found out I didn’t.  Then the cops would have appeared and issued me a citation which would have sent me right over the edge. That combined with my pissed off attitude over this tractor would have assured me of a ride to the county jail for some sort of disorderly conduct charge.  I know for a fact I’d have used a lot of those good old cuss words my father taught me and then the cop would have cuffed me and dragged me away.

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If all that had actually occurred it would have cost me a few hundred dollars in fines, a few hours in the jail, and a somewhat questionable relationship with the local police.  Then I would have come home and the real punishment would have started.  I’d have heard each and every one of my father’s favorite cuss words all over again from my petit but really loud better-half. Nothing on earth is worth sitting through that tirade.

With my common sense keeping me from a trip to the jail I ended up saving a few hundred dollars today.  Now if I take that money and hire a real mechanic to fix this damn tractor I just might break even. 

It’s funny how things just keep snowballing along whether we like it or not.

01-21-2013   Leave a comment

In the past I’ve complained about certain things in New England that bother me and I’m going to do it all over again today. There are times when I’m just plain embarrassed to be living in Maine.  I was born and raised in the mill towns and bars of western Pennsylvania where the people take great pride in themselves in almost everything they do.  They love their Steelers, their Pirates, and their down-to-earth common sense approach to all things.  I’m most proud of a dying “art form” superbly represented by the people there, world class cussing.  It’s learned at an early age but takes many years of practice to really do it justice.

At age three I was sitting on a street corner in Natrona, Pa. with my grandfather and his buddies who paid me nickels and pennies to repeat cuss words.  I don’t specifically remember those days but I’ve been told by numerous people over the years who remember them all too well.  If by chance I uttered the occasional F-Bomb, I’d get a quarter and possibly an ice  cream cone.  So you have to admit I come by cussing honestly, it’s a family tradition.

Off course we all were raised as Steelers fans and if you didn’t curse loudly and often enough while watching their games then you were a goddamn traitor. You’d better be ready to voice your support for those Steelers loud and long as they kicked the shit out of those pussies from Cleveland and those cocksuckers from Texas. It takes a special knack to string numerous cuss words together for maximum effect and we have it.

Western Pennsylvania isn’t known for ethnic diversity but it should be. We lived in menagerie of Irish, Polish, Slovaks, Blacks, Italians, Asians, and the occasional Hispanic.  To be a professional cusser in our neighborhood you had to learn cuss words from at least six languages just to be properly understood.  We were all well on our way to being linguists of a sort in grade-school.  We were the fucking UN of goddamn cusswords and proud of it. 

I’ve lived in Maine now for more than ten years and I have to say that the cussing here is a little more laid back than I’m used to.  A little too polite and prissy for a boy from fucking Pennsylvania.  I actually look forward to trips back home where I can walk into a bar after twenty-five years in New England and have someone say, “Hey who let that motherfucker with the weird accent in here and is he buying the next goddamn round?”.  It’s just not the same here in Maine.  Two F-bombs in one sentence seems to be too much for Maine sensibilities. I think it’s the wrong headed French influences emanating from our neighbor to the north.  Well hell, if they don’t fucking like my style of cussing they can kiss my big fucking ass.

Just saying. 

Posted January 22, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Just Saying

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