06-13-2013   Leave a comment

As I’ve lived my somewhat interesting life I’ve noticed a few things.  The constant stream of insults and insensitive comments made by both men and women about each other is one of the most puzzling. Every guy I’ve known has done it at times as do most women.  My mother and father did it for sixty years to each other, sometimes jokingly and other times not so much. It makes no sense that we do these things to each other but we do.

Since I’ve been old enough to be called a man I’ve had any number of women repeat certain statements to me, "You men are all the same.", “That’s really stupid, it must be a man thing.”  For both men and women it appears that this behavior has been passed down from past generations to us.  Nothing irritates me more than broad-brush generalities used to denigrate large groups of people.  I know it would really tick off my better-half if If I made caustic comments about women but even saying that hasn’t stopped it from happening between us on occasion.

These tendencies are used as a last resort in most arguments to help us put each other on the defensive. I hope that it’s just a way of garnering  attention and not what is actually believed.  Here are twelve quotes, bumper stickers, jokes, and anonymous sayings from many and varied females about men.

Women on Men

  • "Boobs are the proof that men can focus on 2 things at once."
  • "Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you." — Mae West
  • "Any woman that thinks the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high."
  • "Men only have two faults: Everything they say and everything they do."
  • "Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in." — Katherine Whitehorn.
  • "Husbands are like fires; they go out when unattended." — Zsa Zsa Gabor.
  • "There’s nothing like a girl with a plunging neckline to keep a man on his toes."
  • "A woman can fake an orgasm, but it takes a man to fake an entire relationship."
  • "Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all."
  • "A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car."    — Carrie Snow.
  • "Most men would never get laid if it weren’t for the pity fuck."
  • "War is menstruation envy."

Women can be cruel in their humor but I must force myself to be fair in this discussion.  Men are just as bad and like women they do it more when they’re in groups. It’s like a bonding requirement for both sexes within their specific gender groups.  So, let’s all agree that men are just as bad as women and to prove that point here are  twelve perfect examples.

Men on Women

  • "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible." — P. J. O’Rourke.
  • "We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent."    — Anatole France.
  • "Do you know why they call it PMS ? Because Mad Cow Disease was taken." — Unknown
  • "Brigands will demand your money or your life, but a woman will demand both." — Samuel Butler.
  • "When a guy goes to a hooker, he’s not paying her for sex, he’s paying her to leave."
  • "Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex."
  • "I’ve finally found the perfect girl, I couldn’t ask for more. She’s deaf and dumb and over-sexed. And owns a liquor store."
  • "Here’s to our wives and sweethearts — may they never meet."    — John Bunny.
  • "An 11 is a 10 who doesn’t have headaches."
  • "Girls are like rocks; you skip the flat ones."
  • "God created the orgasm so that women can moan even when they are happy."
  • "I have always dreamed of being in bed with a hot woman. Little did I know I would have to wait until she reached menopause." — Lee Entrekin.

With all of this going on with both sexes it’s a miracle that the human race hasn’t gone extinct before now.  It’s the ultimate love/hate relationship.  Maybe it’s just the ultimate genetic push for women to procreate that over rides their general disdain for the men needed to make it happen.  Maybe it’s the incredible pleasure women can offer men to help them overcome their issues with the female gender.  Who knows for sure, certainly not me.

Will the day ever come when the bickering and sarcasm will stop.  I’d have to say "no way".  Maybe it takes more passion than I first thought to prompt all of the stressful name calling, jokes, and sarcasm.  Passion apparently trumps everything and allows the sexes a few moment of intense pleasure together long enough to keep the human race in existence.

War is hell.

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