08-04-2013   Leave a comment

Tomorrow is August fifth and a truly important day for both National and International observances.  Being a Leo myself I sometimes feel that the Month of August gets way more of the crappy observances compared to some other months.  I wish I could remedy that but some things are beyond my power to fix.

There are three observances for tomorrow that need to be highlighted.  The first is International Beer Day.  My better-half celebrates this day like it’s Christmas in August.  I’ll be waist deep in empties in no time at all.  The second observance is National Oyster Day.  I’ve been a big fan of eating oysters for many years and I must tell that that I’ve even spit my share of oysters out car windows as a kid.  If you don’t understand that last statement there’s no hope for you at all.  The third observance is National Underwear Day.  I’m more a fan of a No Underwear Day but that’s just me.   In my humble opinion this observance applies more to women than men because Victoria Secret has made it permissible to ogle and gawk at women in underwear.  By the way, thank you Victoria. 

In order to celebrate these three observances properly I’ll start tomorrow off with a cold beer as soon as I wake up and roll out of bed.  I’ve never tried Cheerios with beer but I might give it a whirl.  I hate the taste of beer and hopefully the cereal would help it along.  I’ll then shower, dry, and moisten my beautiful body and attack the day wearing my finest pair of Incredible Hulk underwear.  They’ll be a little tight but that lovely green color males my blue eyes look a little greener.  I’ll take my better-half to lunch at Ken’s Seaford where can slurp down a dozen oysters at the raw bar.  After that we can cruise through the coastal communities and every so often open the window and deposit an oyster or two along the berm.  If you don’t understand that last statement then there’s no hope for you.

We have hundreds, possibly thousands of these observances thanks in part to our fine collection of legislators.  It’s a our duty as American citizens to proudly support and celebrate these observances in a proper fashion.  Where is your national pride and patriotic zeal when we need it.


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