Archive for the ‘beer’ Tag

06/06/2022 “Foodie Alert”   Leave a comment

We all love food, right? It’s the topic of so many conversations, television shows and TV advertisements. Here are a few foods based trivia facts that you might find interesting.

  • Coffee, who had been introduced in Europe by Arab traders and was considered by many Roman Catholics to be the wine of infidels. Fortunately for all of us Pope Clement VIII officially recognized it as a Christian drink in an edict issued in 1592.
  • Were you aware that a Dutch medical professor produced a product in his laboratory while trying to come up with a blood cleanser that could be sold in drugstores. The product was Gin and its original name was Hollandsch genever (Dutch Juniper).
  • In ancient Egypt when taking an oath, the right hand was placed on an onion. Its round shape symbolized eternity.
  • The Iroquois Indians planted what they referred to as the “three sisters”, corn, beans and squash. Planted together on earthen mounds, the cornstalks supported the vines of the bean plants, and the broad leaves of the squash plants blocked the growth of weeds.
  • The company, F & M Schaefer, was the first American brewery to market beer in a bottle.
  • In cooking, there are 60 drops to a teaspoon.
  • The Heinz company is well-known for its “57 varieties”. The very first variety marketed by Heinz was horseradish in 1869.
  • President Theodore Roosevelt was the person who coined the phrase that has been appropriated as the slogan for Maxwell House coffee: “Good to the last drop”.
  • The queen of Egypt, Cleopatra, used the juice of cucumbers to preserve her skin and it’s still used today in facial creams, lotions, and cleansers.
  • One acre of crocus plants produces only 10 pounds of dried saffron.

HAPPY EATING

05/12/2022 Just the Facts . . . Jack!   Leave a comment

Just sitting here this morning with three layers of clothes on and my feet still feel like blocks of ice. We decided to turn off the heat two weeks ago to save a few bucks when we thought “Spring had Sprung”, but we should’ve known better. Wrong again. Never let it be said that Maine doesn’t fail to deliver on crappy weather. So here I sit at my computer with my little space heater preparing to supply you with some straight facts you didn’t know you needed to know. Here they are . . .

  • The world’s oldest surviving recipe is a formula for making beer. It was discovered outside Baghdad in 1850 on a 3800-year-old Sumerian clay tablet.
  • A fetus acquires fingerprints by the end of the first trimester.
  • In 2003, the personal fortune of JK Rowling, best-selling British author of the widely popular Harry Potter books, surpassed that of the Queen of England.
  • Voltaire, the French philosopher, novelist, and ardent atheist, once held up the Bible and proclaimed, “In 100 years this book will be forgotten, eliminated.” Less than 50 years after his death, the Geneva Bible Society bought his house in order to produce and distribute Bibles.
  • You can in fact get cooties. Cooties are lice.
  • George Clooney once vowed never to remarry or have children, but Michelle Pfeiffer and Nicole Kidman each bet $10,000 that he’d be a father by age 40. On Clooney’s 40th birthday (May 6, 2001), the actresses conceded defeat and sent their checks. Clooney returned their money, betting double or nothing that he wouldn’t have any kids before turning 50.
  • Cigars are called “stogies” because pioneer drivers of Conestoga covered wagons made in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, preferred the long, cheap cigars available in that region. Over time, “Conestoga” was shortened to “stogie.”
  • The term “What in tarnation!” derives from the expression “What in eternal damnation!”
  • The percentage of American men who say they’d marry the same woman if they had to do it all over again: 80%. The percentage of American women who say the same: 50%.
  • There are 2,598,960 possible hands in Texas Hold ‘Em.
  • Lucifer is Latin for “Light Bringer”.

NOW YOU KNOW

01/23/2022 🍺Beer🍺   Leave a comment

Let me start off by saying that I’m not a beer drinker. I haven’t had much use for drinking beer since my early years of college and even then, I mixed it with Seven-Up because I couldn’t stand the taste. Also, most of the girls wanted it sweetened and who was I to argue? And now I’m living with one of the greatest beer drinkers I’ve ever seen, my better-half. I would easily consider her a professional beer drinker. She knows all the brands, flavors, the history of the breweries, and that makes her an expert in my eyes.

Many years ago, I worked with a man who made her look like an amateur. This guy could sit and drink a half a case of beer, leave the bar, and drive home. I never saw him intoxicated regardless of how many beers he slugged down in the course of the evening. I consistently ragged on him about drinking too much beer because even then I didn’t have much use for it. Finally, he decided to respond to my constant badgering and gave me the list you’re about to read. He felt that I spent most of my time chasing women and that in his opinion beer was way better than women. Here we go, his list of reasons that beer is better than women.

  • You can enjoy beer all month long.
  • You don’t have to wine and dine a beer.
  • A beer will wait patiently for you in the car when you play sports.
  • Beer is never late.
  • Hangovers go away, beer never does.
  • When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer.
  • Beer never has a headache.
  • A beer won’t get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
  • If you pour a beer just right, you’ll always get good head.
  • A beer always goes down easy.
  • You always know if you’re the first one to pop a beer.
  • Beer is always wet.
  • Beer doesn’t demand equality.
  • The beer doesn’t care when you come.
  • You don’t have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

As I was typing this list, I had a small but equally important epiphany. While I dislike beer immensely, I absolutely love bourbon. If I replace the word beer in this list with the word bourbon, it still makes perfectly good sense. I guess it’s true what they say.

LOVE IS BLIND

03-26-2018 My New 21st Century Addiction   2 comments

I haven’ t posted anything since the start of the year and I’m feeling a little guilty.  Having a blog is like having an ungratful child.  It’s a lot of work for which I receive virtually no gratitude.  I especially miss the less than friendly emails received from my more liberal readers.  My life has been empty without their caustic comments and endless political preaching.  I’ve relegated them to a dustly shelf in my mancave where everything that bores me is stored.

Enough of that . . .  On to other matters concerning my newest and least satisfying addiction.  I’ve known for sometime that I have an addictive personality.  As a very young man I had a tremendous taste for beer.  It got me into some trouble in my teens and I had to finally let it go. No more of that nasty brew.  Then in my twenties I turned my attention to cigarettes and the occasion toke of giggle weed.  Both of which hung on until my thirites when I saw the light and quit smoking everything.  No more happiness weed and no more cigarettes.  I got healthy, hit the gym, and finally (according to my mother) turned myself into a beautiful and productive person.

As the years rolled along I ended my addiction to marriage and lived a rather raucous and crazy few years filled with wine women and song.  Yes I’d finally discovered a taste for wine and women but no matter what I did I couldn’t carry a tune. As is usual the combination of wine and women got me into considerable trouble as well. I finally met, fell in love, and settled down with the love-of-my-life, stopped drinking wine and turned instead to brandy.

The next to go was the damn brandy. While I enjoyed the brandy drinking experience it was rather boring and I had to stop. I hate spending that kind of money on alcohol that tastes great but I get no glow.  No glow means you got to go and it did.  So currently I’ve reduced my addictions to just three.  My woman is here to stay, thats #1, and thank god for a continuous supply of Jack Daniels (thats #2).  I’ve limited myself to just two or three Jack & Pepsi’s a week (and maybe a few more if we have visitors). Things seem to be working out perfectly almost . . .

My last remaining addiction is without a doubt the worst.  I’ve rid myself of a major television addiction 2 years ago when I could no longer stand watching 10 minutes of commercials every half hour. I told Dish Network to cancel my account and signed up immediately with Netflix and Amazon for streaming service.  Unfortuneately streaming is a double-edged sword.  Being generous I estimate that both streaming services are 80% crap and only 20% of their movies are worth watching unless you want to pay a fee.  My newest and worst addiction is to this endless supply of  terrible, crappy, and ridiculous movies.

                                             SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME

I’m in dire need of some sort of 12 step program to get me away from this TV.  My greatest fear these days is that my better-half will find me alone in the dark, slumped over in my favorite chair, clutching the remote.  Dead from dehydration, boredom, and felony eye-slaughter.

 

08-18-2016 Journal – Summer Cooking!   Leave a comment

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Fresh and delicious shrimp.

Do these shrimp look good to you?  They were just as delicious as you might think or so says my better-half.  She’s a shrimp junkie going back many years and considers herself an expert.  I tried just one and really couldn’t disagree.

Summer time meals are something special around here and are to be enjoyed and relished whenever possible.  While I’m not a big fan of shrimp or lobster I do love just about everything else that the ocean has too offer.  I experiment when possible to come up with new flavors and textures with my seafood.  This week we picked up those shrimp and a large haddock fillet just for me.

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To make things a little more interesting I poached the fillet in habanero wine.  I made this wine a few years back and it carries with it a delicious flavor and heat. Once the poaching was completed the fillets were dropped onto the grill to give them a little crispiness.

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Just sooooo good.

Then it’s off to the table with a side of fresh corn-on-the-cob and a glass of Chardonnay.  Cherry tomatoes picked just before the meal and chilled are a perfect addition.  That beer in the picture belongs to my better-half.  She considers any beer she drinks as her Chardonnay.

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The garden continues to flourish now that we’ve had a few days of rain to help perk things up.  I picked this collection of hot peppers (Serrano, Fresno, jalapeno, and Anaheim’s) today because tomorrow is salsa day and I want them as fresh and hot as I can get.

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I’ll be slicing and dicing all of the other salsa ingredients this evening in preparation for tomorrow.  This is the best part of Summer for me without a doubt.

OLE!

05-06-2016 Journal–Cinco De Mayo!   Leave a comment

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I’m lying in bed this morning going through my normal morning ritual.  What better way to start your day than enjoying a couple of episodes of The Soprano’s.  I’m watching the scene where they buried Tony’s mother with all of the family smoking dope and snorting cocaine.  Not really much like my own family (Thank God) but it’s still fun to watch.

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I’m moving a little slower than usual due in part to our Cinco De Mayo celebration last night. We wanted to avoid the crowds as much as possible so we made an earlier than usual appearance at out favorite Mexican establishment, Casa Fiesta. I decided a margarita was in order so I ordered the biggest one I could find. Here it is in all it’s glory. It was one delicious drink but the three episodes of brain-freeze I could have done without.

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‘It was just as big as it looks.’

The better-half was in her glory as well when she discovered they had Pacifico beer on-tap.  That’s as happy as I’ve seen her since the start of our current weight loss program.  I had a sampler platter with all of the Mexican specialties we’ve come to know and love. The food was great and the habanero Verde sauce was delicious and brutally hot.

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‘Delicious, with third degree burns of the tongue.’

We left with habanero on our breath and a distinct glow from the margaritas and Pacifico beers.  All in all a rather enjoyable night. Maybe next year will be able to celebrate a little more boisterously with some of our friends.

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04-06-2016 Journal – Cemetery Humor & Limericks!   Leave a comment

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I thought that since today is once again cold and sunny I should dig into my trivia library for some interesting facts  rather than going out to brave the weather. I might even find a few that aren’t so interesting but as always you can be the judge of that. These are items primarily related to cemeteries and funerals. I may be forced to throw in a few off-color limericks as well.  Let’s get started.

Here’s an entry I’m adding just for my beer drinking better-half.

  • A headstone in a cemetery at Saint Kilda, Victoria, Australia, depicts a hand holding a jug of beer. The headstone was the result of a threat often made by the widow to her thirsty husband.

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This item amazes me.  I can’t begin to understand the level of dedication this involves.

  • In Nara, Japan, a lantern in the tomb of a Buddhist priest, Kyobo Daishi, in the monastery of Koya San has been burning continuously for 1126 years.

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This one I can appreciate somewhat. The woman was truly dedicated to her profession, regardless of the consequences.

  • The epitaph of the late Shirley Pitts of London, England, dubbed the “Queen of Shoplifters” reads, “Gone Shopping”.

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Everyone loves a good “Love” story and here’s a beauty.

  • “Husband: I anxiously awaiting you, 1827.” “Wife: Here I am, 1867 – Gravestones in a Paris, France cemetery.

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Here are two entries concerning two stubborn fools.

  • “Here stands old Britt Bailey” – Epitaph to James Britton Bailey, who was buried standing up because he refused to look up to any man.
  • A tombstone in Weather Hill, New England, reads: “Here lies the body of Samuel Proctor, who lived and died without a doctor.”

Here are a few rather interesting approaches.

  • A tombstone in a cemetery in Medway, Massachusetts, reads, “Beneath this stone, this lump of clay, lies Uncle Peter Daniels, who too early in the month of May, took off his winter flannels.”
  • “Here lies the father of twenty-nine, He would have had more but he didn’t have time.” – Gravestone in Moultrie, Georgia.
  • A gravestone near Uniontown, Pennsylvania: “Her lies the body of Jonathon Blake, stepped on the gas instead of the brake.”
  • “Owen Moore Is gone away, Owen’ more than he could pay.” – Epitaph in Surrey, England.

And finally a proper send off for an attorney.

  • The tombstone of an attorney in Willwood cemetery, Rockford, Illinois: “Goembel, John E. 1867-1946: The defense rests.”

Now for a couple of art related limericks.

For a sculpture that’s really first class,

You need form, composition, and mass;

To do a good Venus,

Just leave off the penis,

And concentrate more on the ass!

 

A lascivious lecher, called Fletcher,

Was also a talented sketcher.

Of ladies (quite nude)

He invariably screwed,

But did they enjoy it? You betcha!

I think that’s enough silliness for today.  Look for more limericks in the future because I recently stumbled upon quite the collection, most from the British Isles. They have an excellent approach to raunchiness that I really admire.

11-10-2015 Journal–My Favorite Addictions!   Leave a comment

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I’m one of those boring people who feels the need to constantly examine my life.  I look at my past and judge myself, I look at my present and judge myself, and finally I look at my possible futures and judge that too. Also if I’m given the opportunity I’ll judge you as well. So not only am I a borderline addictive personality I’m a bit judgmental.

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I’ve always suspected I had issues with addiction but never tried to delve into the why’s and wherefores until now. My list of addictions is long and began back when I was just an newborn infant. Here’s my list from my formative years in no particular order of importance:

Breathing

Breasts

Breast milk

Diapers

I was able to finally work through those minor addictions without the assistance of an expensive rehab program. I was well on my way to puberty where my list began to grow and become more interesting. 

Breasts

Legs

Butts

Pornography

Sex

Puberty not only changed me physically but also intellectually. I understood at age thirteen that these addictions unlike my toddler list would likely become permanent.  And guess what? I was somewhat correct. I resigned myself to learning to live with my addictions and to make the best of them. It was a dirty job but I stepped up and made the required personality adjustments to deal with them.

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My teen years were interesting and a little frightening. My list again changed but was still manageable:

Sex

Breasts

Legs

French Blondes

Cigarettes

Beer

Pornography

College brought more changes and not all of them good. As the list increased so did my stress levels as you can plainly see:

Sex

Oral Sex

Brunettes

Blondes

Red Heads

Breasts

Beer

Whiskey

Marijuana

Wine

I learned a lot in those years but realized my life was in a rut so I dropped out of college and enlisted in the Army one step ahead of the draft board. This began another long, interesting, and scary adventure. Once more my list expanded a bit:

Sex

Oral sex

Oriental Women

Black Hair

Whiskey

Coffee

Cigarettes

Beer

Marijuana

Speed

Adrenaline

Wine

I returned home a few years later, much wiser and a much less addicted person. I was able to rid myself of many of my stupid addictions over the next two decades. Here are the final results after many years of really hard work:

Any Sex

Breasts

Coffee

Reading

Photography

Computers

Chocolate

Wine

Exercise

As you can see most of the exciting addictions in my life have slowly faded away.  They were fun while they lasted but were discarded when they became dangerous or harmful.  I’m now a much wiser and more boring person and I have to admit as I sit here quietly judging myself, I miss some of them a lot. 

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My list is certainly smaller but less dangerous and easily managed now. I expect this final list will remain with me forever. 

The only addiction that stayed with me from infancy to the present day are “Breasts”. There’s no rehab programs to help me deal with them and I’m pretty happy about that. So thanks again Mom for the one lifelong addiction I’ve enjoyed the most and will continue to enjoy until the lid slams shut. I’d love to see the 12 step program for that addiction.

I know one thing for sure, I’d never miss a meeting.

11-08-2015–Useless or Useful Factoids!   Leave a comment

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Today feels exceptionally uninteresting.  It’s a little blah, a little gray, and a little cold which means I’m suffering from a total lack of interest.  I was just advised by my better-half that I’d be spending the better part of this day being dragged along on her shopping safari.  Thank God I recharged my Kindle last night so I’m now good to go. That means I get to sit in the car and read while she shops.

If I use my head and offer up a little charm I might just convince her to buy me some sort of breakfast.  I have a serious need for bacon and I need it right now.  I swear it’s a worse addiction than cigarettes or coffee.  It’s maybe the only thing that keeps these shopping forays bearable for me.

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This blog needs a bit of a breather from stories about my life and times. Today I’ll supply the world with a few really useless but possibly interesting tidbits of information.  It’s been a while since I’ve dished out a dose of these factoids and today’s the day.  Here we go . . .

  • The average American two-car garage is 25 percent bigger than the average Tokyo home.
  • The European Union exports more to Switzerland than to China.
  • During the first year of the Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union, the Red Army issued 800,000 death  sentences to it’s own soldiers.
  • The first year in which there was no recorded lynching of a black American was 1952.
  • There were 658 suicide bombings around the world in 2007 – more than double the number in any of the previous twenty-five years. Afghanistan and Iraq were responsible for 542 of them.

I didn’t say that all of the factoids would be funny or uplifting because life on this planet leaves a lot to be desired at times.

  • In 1976, the United States had 30 percent of the world’s college students. By 2006, that had dropped to 14 percent.
  • Intel employees collectively send or read 3 million emails a day.
  • The Mafia accounts for 7 percent of the Italian GDP, more than any single business.
  • There are as many fake doctors practicing in India as real ones.
  • The average male orgasm lasts eight seconds, the average female orgasm twenty seconds.

I guess that last one explains a lot of things.  Women not only orgasm longer but get to have multiples as well. That’s just unfair.

  • In the United States, adult bookshops outnumber McDonald’s restaurants three to one.
  • Napoleon often masturbated before going into battle.
  • Red Bull is illegal in Norway, Denmark, and Ireland.
  • In 2007, twenty-four people killed themselves jumping under Paris Metro trains. On the New York City Subway the figure was twenty-six, and on the London Underground fifty.
  • Men produce twice as much saliva as women.

I think that’s enough for today. I wouldn’t want you to overdose on all this useless stuff.  It’s Sunday, watch some football, drink a beer or two, eat some nacho’s and belch like you have a pair.   That’s what I call “a day of rest”.

HAPPY SUNDAY

11-06-2015 Journal – Shopping, Eating, & Drinking!   Leave a comment

This is the second chapter of our visit with my better-half’s family members as we made our way through the streets of Portland, Maine.  For this late in the year this Sunday was absolutely perfect.  Sunny and warm with lots of people on the streets enjoying what remains of our Indian Summer.  I wore my comfortable shoes in preparation for hours of walking and shopping with the ladies.  It was all of that and more.

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Portland offers a crazy selection of coffee shops, galleries, and gift shops and it felt like we visited all of them.  The women shopped and we men were dragged kicking and screaming through the streets waiting desperately for food and drink, and even a cigars for one of us.

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We were in and out of so many different shops and I’m not kidding when I say we could have purchased damn near anything.  Look at these little gems we found displayed on the sidewalk and before you make any comments, I didn’t buy any.

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‘For shopper’s who need a little weirdness in their lives.’

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Our final stop was at our favorite tavern, Three Dollar Dewey’s, for a healthy four course meal of Gin, popcorn, nacho’s, french fries, and a delicious piece of strawberry shortcake.

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We had our fill of food and drink and returned to the car feeling fat and sassy.  It was a short ride home where we could kick back and relax a little more. The visitors needed a good nights sleep before their departure the next morning as they headed south for Rhode Island. 

WE CONTINUE TO ENJOY THIS INDIAN SUMMER

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