Archive for the ‘observances’ Tag

02-10-2016 Journal – February is Boring!   3 comments

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February it seems is a rather boring and utterly useless month.  It’s two biggest holidays are Groundhog Day and Valentines Day which says a lot about relevance to me.

It’s such a slow short month that all of our overpaid politicians are forced into action to show the electorate they’ll actually are doing something, even if it’s in February. I can’t list all of the observance that have been piled up into the shortest month of the year because there are just too damn many. The following partial list contains a few weekly observances for this week that will help make my point.

Celebration of Love Week: 7-13th

Children of Alcoholics Week: 7-13th

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week: 7-14th

Dump Your Significant Jerk Week: 7-13th

Have A Heart for A Chained Dog Week: 7-14th

Jell-O Week: 7-13th

National Secondhand Wardrobe Week: 7-13th

Love Makes the World Go Round; But, Laughter Keeps Us From Getting Dizzy Week: 8-14th

I can just see and hear a group of politicos sitting in a local tavern on any given Friday night telling war stories to each other concerning all of their weeks accomplishments. "I finally got that ‘Dump Your Jerk Week’ observance passed. It’s been a year of hard work getting it pushed through and I was forced to call in all of my IOU’s to do it. It was exhausting work but someone had to finally get it done."  His buddy sitting nearby had to do a little one-upmanship, "I had a tough week too. That observance of ‘Love Makes the World Go Round; But, Laughter Keeps Us From Getting Dizzy Week’ was a killer. I spent six months arm twisting damn near everyone to get it passed. The United States is now a better place for it." 

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I found only two daily observance for February 10th and they are just as stupid.  I had to look up the word PLIMSOLL to discover it’s some sort of an athletic shoe. Who knew?

Plimsoll Day

All The News That’s Fit To Print Day

So a great big THANK YOU goes out to those geniuses responsible for cluttering up our lives with more useless crap.  We shouldn’t be allowed to vote until we’ve been made to review all of these stupid observances to find out what politicians are responsible for them.

AND THANKS TO NH FOR KICKING HILLARY’S ASS.

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11-11-2013 November Holidays   1 comment

A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.   Charles Darwin

I know a lot of you folks are already gearing up for the holidays.  The month of November begins the insanity that is Thanksgiving, Christmas, and then New Years. For me I find Veterans Day to be more important than the others.  I assume that most vets feel the same way.  I don’t like making a big deal out of it on this blog because for me it’s more of a private and solemn occasion.  I’ll thank any vet who has served this country and I honor those who gave their lives in it’s defense. That’s all you’ll hear today from me.  I see no need for patriotic songs and fancy memorials.  Just a quiet minute and a bowed head and I’m good.

I expect that everyone is already being bombarded by that good old Christmas spirit since most retailers filled their shelves with Christmas cheer before Halloween. I find that unfortunate but not unexpected. I suppose it’s just a matter of time before they start pushing Christmas sometime in August. Spend, Spend, Spend!  That’s becoming an almost religious mantra in this country and I don’t see it stopping anytime soon.

I made a quick review of some national observances for the month of November and it’s mind boggling.  Who knew this month was so damn important.  It’s also mind boggling just how much time our well paid and self-involved representatives have wasted having these observances enacted. This list is only the monthly observances.  There are an additional 28 weekly  and 128 daily observances I didn’t bother listing.  If we truly trust in our legislators to do the right thing then we should be celebrating each and every one of them.  So folks, in the future we should all take November off and party like the fools that we are.  Find an observance you like and then celebrate it.

Adopt A Senior Pet Month Link
American & National Diabetes Month
American Indian Heritage Month Link  (See also August)
Aviation History Month
Banana Pudding Lovers Month
Diabetic Eye Disease Month
Epilepsy Awareness Month Link
Family Stories Month Link
Gluten-Free Diet Awareness Month
Greens and Plantains Month Link
Historic Bridge Awareness Month Link
International Drum (Percussion) Month Link
Lung Cancer Awareness Month
Manatee Awareness Month Link
MADD’s Tie One On For Safety Holiday Campaign (11/16-12/31)
Military Family Appreciation Month Link
National Adoption Month
National PPSI AIDS Awareness Month
National Alzheimer’s Disease Month
National COPD Month Link
National Family Caregivers Month Link
National Georgia Pecan Month
National Home Care & Hospice Month Link
National Impotency Month Link
National Inspirational Role Models Month
National Life Writing Month
National Long-term Care Awareness Month
National Marrow Awareness Month
National Medical Science Liaison (MSL) Awareness & Appreciation Month Link
National Native American Heritage Month Link
National Family Literacy Month
National Novel Writing Month Link
National Peanut Butter Lovers Month
National Pet Cancer Awareness Month
National Pomegranate Month Link
National PPSI Aids Awareness Month
National Roasting Month Link
National Scholarship Month Link
Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month Link
Plum and Pomegranate Month Link
Prematurity Awareness Month Link
PTA Healthy Lifestyles Month Link
Spinach and Squash Month Link
Sweet Potato Awareness Month Link  (See also February)
NoSHAVEmber (US – Beard Month or November (Australia – Moustache Month )
Vegan Month
Worldwide Bereaved Siblings Month
World Sponge Month

I’m exhausted just reading this list let alone paying any attention to it. With Thanksgiving on the horizon don’t forget to be thankful for our politicians of both parties for doing their part in screwing up this country like none of our enemies have been able to do.  Darwin’s quote is very telling these days.

08-04-2013   Leave a comment

Tomorrow is August fifth and a truly important day for both National and International observances.  Being a Leo myself I sometimes feel that the Month of August gets way more of the crappy observances compared to some other months.  I wish I could remedy that but some things are beyond my power to fix.

There are three observances for tomorrow that need to be highlighted.  The first is International Beer Day.  My better-half celebrates this day like it’s Christmas in August.  I’ll be waist deep in empties in no time at all.  The second observance is National Oyster Day.  I’ve been a big fan of eating oysters for many years and I must tell that that I’ve even spit my share of oysters out car windows as a kid.  If you don’t understand that last statement there’s no hope for you at all.  The third observance is National Underwear Day.  I’m more a fan of a No Underwear Day but that’s just me.   In my humble opinion this observance applies more to women than men because Victoria Secret has made it permissible to ogle and gawk at women in underwear.  By the way, thank you Victoria. 

In order to celebrate these three observances properly I’ll start tomorrow off with a cold beer as soon as I wake up and roll out of bed.  I’ve never tried Cheerios with beer but I might give it a whirl.  I hate the taste of beer and hopefully the cereal would help it along.  I’ll then shower, dry, and moisten my beautiful body and attack the day wearing my finest pair of Incredible Hulk underwear.  They’ll be a little tight but that lovely green color males my blue eyes look a little greener.  I’ll take my better-half to lunch at Ken’s Seaford where can slurp down a dozen oysters at the raw bar.  After that we can cruise through the coastal communities and every so often open the window and deposit an oyster or two along the berm.  If you don’t understand that last statement then there’s no hope for you.

We have hundreds, possibly thousands of these observances thanks in part to our fine collection of legislators.  It’s a our duty as American citizens to proudly support and celebrate these observances in a proper fashion.  Where is your national pride and patriotic zeal when we need it.

GO, CELEBRATE, ENJOY !


01-06-2013   Leave a comment

Today is one of those dead days after the holidays where everyone is dragging ass with the loss of all that holiday adrenaline.  I’ve decided I need to talk about politics for a bit after perusing the monthly observances listed for January.

Today is January 6th and I’ve discovered something earth shattering.  The politicians must be losing their edge because not only have they chosen not to observe the 6th as Sherlock Holmes’s birthday which almost but not quite pisses me off, they’ve completely ignored the 6th for any type of recognition. While the 6th of January is included in some of the lame ass weekly observances, it doesn’t have a day of it’s own.  How could our narcissistic and self-serving politico’s miss an opportunity like that.  There’s a day for damn near everything and a few days that have multiple  observances, so what the hell is wrong with the 6th of January?

Maybe it’s time for us to help those poor underpaid politicians do their job in a more proper fashion. How about we have the 6th remembered and observed as, “Take Down the Goddamn Christmas Tree Day” or “National Christmas Gift Refund Day”.  Being as fair and balanced as I can possibly be I propose we name the 6th as “Take an Effing Liberal to Work Day”. We could show them off to our conservative friends and pass out a few food stamps as a surprise gifts.

The next time I have lunch with Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid I’ll make that suggestion.  They’ve been avoiding me since I refused that threesome offer over our last lunch.  They’re so sensitive when sexually rejected it may take a few months for another invite to come my way (no pun intended).

I can’t wait for next year, it’ll take me that long to choose my liberal work buddy. I have a complicated and fun selection process which will make as many liberals as possible as uncomfortable as possible.

So there!