It’s Thursday morning and I’ve just arrived home from the hospital. My hopes for a clean report on my colonoscopy are again disappointing.  After a thorough scoping by a very competent doctor he found  one stinking polyp. It was too large to burn off so he snipped a chunk from it for further testing.  He assured me that 90% of all these polyps are normally benign. So for now I’ll be forced to go with that all the while keeping my fingers crossed.

‘Yuck + Yuck + Yuck = My Night’

You should know that the 36 hours before the colonoscopy were absolute hell. I’ve been through a number of colonoscopy cleansings and as this one began I was happy at just how easy it seemed to be going.  The laxative pills were small and harmless looking, the Gatorade didn’t taste too bad, and the laxative powder that went into the Gatorade looked innocent enough.  Will I never learn.

I began by taking two pills and then drinking four classes of the laxative laced Gatorade every 30 minutes.  I took a break and drink just plain water for an hour and then drank another glass full every half-hour until it was all gone. At 10 pm I was to take two more pills, drink a few more glasses of water and wait.  Let me tell you a little secret,  I didn’t have to wait very long. 

Just after I went to bed all hell broke loose in my body. It was back and forth to the bathroom with each trip becoming more urgent than the last.  I won’t try to describe the nastiness that occurred between  two and three in the morning. All I’ll say is that at 2 am I was forced into taking an emergency shower, then forced to mop the bathroom floor, and later to strip my bed and do an emergency load of laundry.  It was ugly, nasty, humiliating, and unforgettable.

With the results from todays explorations I’m to remain in the five year rotation for future colonoscopies. It seems those folks in my gene pool passed along some of their more depressing traits to yours truly. The story of my effing life.

‘’’Looking Out the Front Window Today’

I’ve just had my first solid food in the last forty-eight hours and it was fantastic.  I’ve been ordered to take it easy for the rest of the day and to get some well needed nap time. There’s really nothing much more to blog about today except for the damn snow storm raging outside my window.  I’ll hibernate for the remainder of the  week and hopefully get things back to normal by the weekend. 

I’m sure glad this is over with.