I’m sure some of you know the definition of a malaprop. If not, here it is. A malaprop is the mistaken use of a word in place of a similar sounding one, often with unintentional amusing effect. I really didn’t know the definition or the word myself but while posting yesterday I noticed two entries that amused me. After digging around in my books I discovered the term malaprop and a number of examples I thought you might find interesting and hopefully amusing. Here they are . . .

• Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope.

• Although the patient had never been fatally ill before, he woke up dead.

• William Tell shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.

• The book was so exciting I couldn’t finish it until I put it down.

• The difference between a king and a president is that king is the son of his father and a president isn’t.

• The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

• The Magna Carta provided that no freemen should be hanged twice for the same offense.

• Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

• The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. Your head sits on the top, and you sit on the bottom.

• He saw three other people in the restaurant, and half of those were waiters.

Now you know what malaprops are. As I read them, I realized that I’ve seen samples of them many times before but never heard anyone use the term. I’m ambivalent about knowing it now and I’m almost sorry I made you aware of it. I may revisit this subject in the future or maybe not.

HAPPY MONDAY