Archive for the ‘word play’ Tag

11-12-2013 Acronyms Are Killing Me   2 comments

What possesses we humans with the need to continuously shorten our language.  LOL, OMG, and others were created primarily because of Twitter and other social networks. 140 characters leave very little space for actual coherent thoughts.  I’d like to take you back a few years to when this craziness really got rolling.  STAT and ASAP are two oldies I learned during hospital visits to see my mother at age 10 or 12 and here are a few more. 

The list is endless but this countries businesses are as responsible for many of the more ridiculous acronyms as anyone.  You have  KISS, UNIVAC, NABISCO, NECCO, WYSIWYG, and MS-DOS just to name a few.  Do you know what they all mean?  I’ll just bet you don’t.

Never let it be said that the government didn’t help the cause.  They’re the worst especially in the armed services.  DEFCON, NORAD, ZIP code, OSHA, NATO, RADAR, SCUBA, SCUD, WAC, AWOL, SAC, SEALS, and literally thousands of others. Anyone whose ever had the opportunity to speak to someone who works in the Pentagon needs an accomplished translator who is trained in Gov-Speak.  SALT, SNAFU, SONAR, AWACS, TNT, and the endless list continues.

You could work for HUD but not before they check your SSN, DOB, and GPA.  On your off time you could join NOW, UNESCO, UNICEF, or get bogged down with other WOMBAT stuff.

Take a flight, OVER, OUT,  ROGER, and WILCO.  Get sick and be subjected to an MRI or EKG. You could end up in the ER or ICU for more serious matters.

You can make yourself crazy just trying to keep up with the ever changing acronyms.  I guess this society is in such a hurry to do everything we don’t have time to say any more complete words than necessary. Before you know it we won’t have a language anymore, we’ll just communicate with nothing but acronyms.  That will be a very sad day. George Orwell was a few years behind the times in many of his predictions in 1984 but some still ring true today.

Here are a few more for your edification:  DNA, RNA, DOA, ETA, EST, INTERPOL, NIMBY, NASA, SONAR, TASER, LASER, and even CANOLA oil.  TV, DVD, DOA, and OMFG.  I’ve got to stop this foolishness immediately, it’s making me crazier than usual. I’ll be happy to supply a list tomorrow of the acronyms used in this posting and we’ll see just how many you know or think you know.

06-11-2013   2 comments

I’m a huge fan of the English language and I can honestly say I’m as surprised as anyone that I would or could ever say that and mean it.  In high school and college I avoided English courses of any kind  when possible.  As the years passed I gained a real appreciation and love for the language and it’s many humorous uses.

I learned along the way that some people’s sense of humor was instrumental in how they named their children, their businesses, and even their pets.  At times I really wondered what was going through the minds of parents who stuck their children with names that would haunt them for the rest of their lives.  Was it just humor or were they intentionally being  mean and nasty?  Here are a few paragraphs of actual names of actual people who probably aren’t all that happy with their parent’s choices.  As you’ll notice there are even a few celebrities included.

Al Dente, Anita Bath, Anne Teek, Armand Hammer, Art Major, Bud Light, Dick Head, Dick Trickle, Donald Duck, Frank Enstein, Gene Poole, Harry Sachs, Jim Shorts, Justin Case, Lewis N. Clark, Marshall Law, Mike Hunt, Mike Rotch, Myles Long, Olive Branch, Paige Turner, Peg Legge, and Polly Ester.

You just can’t make this stuff up.  If I was saddled with any of these names I would have never forgiven my parents.  Let’s continue with a few more.

Ray Gunn, Rick Shaw, Rip Torn, Rod N. Reel, Sal Minella, Seymour Bush, Shanda Lear, Sue Flay, Tanya Hyde, Tess Steckle, Virginia Breach, Wanda Hickey, Warren Peace, Will Power, Will Wynn, Willie Leak, and Willie Stroker.

As bad as some of these names are many people when starting a business do everything in their power to give it a name that will catch the attention of possible new customers.  Here are a few names of drinking establishments that will do just that  and no I haven’t visited them all.

The Ram Inn, The Happy Medium, Drunken Duck, The Elusive Camel, The Hung Drawn And Quartered, Spread Eagle, Dirty Dick’s, and Filthy Mc Nasty’s.

There is no end to the games that can be played with the English language and of course why would I not mention the ability of some of our illustrious strippers who use names that might just increase interest in their many and abundant assets.

Dixie Normas, July Raine, Skyy Bleu, Dalas Star, Mercedes Dawn, Lexus Paige, Shy Lynne, Stormy Wave, Stormy Weather, Candy Bar, Candy Kane, Alotta Fagina, Caramel DDelight, Rosy Hips, Venus Fly Trap, Cin DD, Candy Cox, and Bambi Thumper.

I don’t want you readers to think for a minute that I know theses stripper names from personal experience.  If I really visited those kinds of establishments I probably wouldn’t live long enough to enjoy them.  My better-half may not be the best shot in Maine but what she lacks in accuracy she makes up in the large amount of ammo she has available. 

Just saying. 

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