I’ thought I’d start the new year with a small collection of limericks. This collection should be rated “PG”, so keep the youngsters away. Happy New Year to all of you limerick aficionados. Today’s collection concerns:

Sexual Misfortunes

Two middle-aged ladies from Fordham,

Went out for a walk but it bored ’em.

As they made their way back,

A crazed sex maniac

Leapt out of a bush and ignored ’em.

🍷🍷🍷

An unfortunate sailor name Bates,

Had performed the fandango on skates.

But a fall on his cutlass

Had rendered him nutless

And, well – virtually useless on dates!

🍆🍆🍆

A nudist, named Roger McPeet,

Loved to dance in the snow and the sleet.

Till, one chilly December,

He froze his poor member,

And retired to a monkish retreat.

🍩🍩🍩

Ancient octogenarian, Hugh,

To his wife remained steadfastly true.

This was not from compunction,

But more the dysfunction

Of his spermatic glands – nuts to you.

🍆🍩🍆

What better way to kick off a new year. Here’s one final limerick with a religious bent for an oh-so inclined friend.

❤️

When Lazarus came back from the dead,

He still couldn’t function in bed.

“What good’s Resurrection

Without an erection?”

Old Lazarus testily said.

AMEN TO THAT