Archive for the ‘limerick alert’ Tag

07/28/2022 “Looney Limericks”   Leave a comment

It’s not often I get surprised especially by anonymous gifts from readers. My surprise occurred a few days ago when I received a fifty-page paperback booklet printed in 1999. It contains a collection of what are titled “Looney Limericks”. I haven’t the faintest idea who sent it but please consider this a big thank you, whoever you are. Here are a few samples of some clean and funny limericks apparently written for children.

There was a young man of Bengal

Who went to a masquerade ball.

He dressed, just for fun,

As a hamburger bun,

And a dog ate him up in the hall.

😊😊😊

A mouse in her room woke Miss Dowd.

She was frightened and screamed very loud.

Then a happy thought hit her

To scare off the critter,

She sat up in bed and meowed.

😊😊😊

There was an old man of Blackheath,

Who sat on his set of false teeth.

Said he, with a start!

“O Lord, bless my heart!

I’ve bitten myself underneath!”

😊😊😊

There once was a hungry old leopard

Who brought home a skinny young shepherd.

Said the leopard, “I feel

That you’ll make a good meal

Once you’re properly salted and peppered.

😊😊😊

HANG IN THERE, IT’S ALMOST FRIDAY

07/23/2022 A LIMERICK “How To”   Leave a comment

I’m going to introduce you today to a man who was famous for writing limericks, Mr. David McCord. He was also a philanthropist, writer, and poet who held honorary degrees from 22 universities. He was famous for his work in teaching children to write poetry. This first limerick is a short instruction on who to structure a limerick.

David McCord

The limerick’s lively to write:

Five lines to it – all nice and tight.

Two long ones, two trick

Little short ones, then quick

As a flash here’s the last one in sight.

There are 13 limericks published over fifty years ago and were Mr. McCord’s attempt to explain and teach how to write a limerick. Here are the first four. I’ll post a few each day until the entire collection is in your hands. Maybe they will encourage you to write a few of your own.

There once was a scarecrow named Joel

Who couldn’t scare crows, save his soul.

But the crows put the scare

Into Joel. He’s not there

Anymore. That’s his hat on the pole.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

“There was an old man” of wherever

You like, thus the limerick never

Accounts for the young:

You will find him unsung

Whether stupid, wise, foolish, or clever.

A Rare Non-Dirty Nantucket Limerick

There was a young man let me say,

Of West Pumpkinville, Maine, USA.

You tell me there’s not

Such a place? Thanks a lot.

I forget what he did anyway.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

Take the curious case of Tom Pettigrew

And Hetty, his sister. When Hettigrew

As tall as a tree

She came just to Tom’s knee.

And did Tom keep on growing? You bettigrew.

That’s lesson number one for today. If you read them carefully, he gives excellent rhyming tips and how exactly to structure the limerick. More to follow tomorrow.

07/07/2022 πŸ’₯Limerick AlertπŸ’₯   Leave a comment

I thought today was the perfect time for your weekly dose of limericks. Today’s selection is categorized as “Little Romances”. I hope you like them.

1941

There was a young lady of Arden,

The tool of whose swain wouldn’t harden.

Said she with a frown,

“I’ve been sadly let down

By the tool of a fool in a garden.”

😜😜😜

1943

I wooed a stewed nude in Bermuda,

I was lewd, but my God! she was lewder.

She said it was crude

To be wooed in the nude,

I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her.

🀣🀣🀣

1882

There was a young sailor from Brighton

Who remarked to his girl, “you’re a tight one.”

She replied, “Pon my soul,

You’re in the wrong hole.

There’s plenty of room in the right one.”

😏😏😏

1941

A lady while dining at Crewe

Found an elephant’s whang in her stew.

Said the waiter, “Don’t shout,

And don’t wave it about,

Or the others will all want one too.”

😷😷😷

HAVE A LIMERICKY DAY

05/20/2022 ☘Dirty Limerick Alert☘   1 comment

I was awakened at 2:30 this morning by one of those annoying Mother Nature calls. I visited her briefly and upon returning to my bed, tried to fall back asleep. During those few minutes of half-sleep some of the words of the following limerick popped into my head. I made a quick note in my cell phone and went to sleep. This morning a did a little editing and the finished limerick was born. I have absolutely no idea where or why it came to me but here it is. This is for all of you limerick and nursery rhyme aficionados.

❀JACK & JILL❀

Jack and Jill climbed up a hill on Nantucket.

He brought a few condoms and she an old bucket.

The bucket was tossed, and Jill’s virginity was lost,

When she decided to fuket not suket.

(Who needs water anyway.)

❀❀❀

❀❀

🌻🌷R.I.P. Courtney🌷🌻

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