Quote of the Day

“Picture yourself in a boat on a river,

With tangerine trees and marmalade skies,

Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,

A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.”

John Lennon & Paul McCartney

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Joke of the Day #1

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open revealing a lovely leg. The priest took a look and nearly had an accident. After regaining control of the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on, while changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129.” Once again, the priest apologized. “Sorry, sister, but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun got out of the car, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival back at his church, the priest rushed to retrieve a Bible and looked up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up you will find glory.”

☘️☘️☘️

Limerick of the Day

A dashing young dentist in Kent,

Found in practice, wherever he went,

Girls only too willing

To have a good filling,

“Open wide”! Stirred their carnal intent.

🤡🤡🤡

Joke of the Day #2

Little Johnny is in the middle of class and stands up and says, “I have to piss!” The teacher says, “Now, Johnny, the proper word is urinate and while you’re in the bathroom I want you to think of a sentence that has the word urinate in it.” So, Johnny goes to the bathroom, does his thing and comes back. The teacher immediately asks, “Well, Johnny, did you think of a sentence?” He says,” Yes. . . urinate, and if you had bigger tits you’d be a ten.”

🤗🤗🤗

Wisdom of the Day

Be a friend to thyself.