Are you happy? Living in the 21st century can be confusing at times and utterly ridiculous almost always. I can’t even wrap my head around how people are raising children these days. It’s when my frustration gets to be too much, I revert to other times that were also screwy but not near as strange as right now. The following humor was based entirely on the 1980’s so bear that in mind as you read them. Everything is always about context. Hop on the time travel train for a few minutes and enjoy 1984. Orwell didn’t have a clue.

• When should you stop fucking your girlfriend doggie style? When you catch her chasing cars.

• What’s the difference between a peeping tom and a pickpocket? A pickpocket snatches watches.

• What’s the difference between mono and herpes? You get mono from snatching a kiss.

• What do you find at the bottom of girls’ undies? Clitty litter.

• What’s the difference between a fox and a pig? About six beers.

• What’s a box spring? An I. U. D.

• Why did the stupid girl think there was something wrong with her birth control pills? They kept falling out.

• Why was 6 mad at 7? Because 7-8-9

• What’s Helen Keller’s favorite color? Corduroy

• Who are the three most famous Chinese virgins? “Tu Yung Tu”, Tu Dum Tu”, and “No Yen Tu.

• Why don’t chickens wear underwear? Because they would look fucking stupid.

• What’s the difference between an epileptic corn husker and a hooker with diarrhea? An epileptic corn husker shucks between fits.

KEEP CALM AND PRETEND ITS THE 80’S