As most of you are aware I love using quotes to make an interesting point and they’re usually of a complimentary nature. Todays post will change that. These are quotes from recognizable people who don’t appear to be as happy about things as we all thought they were. I’m providing a selection of quotes concerning the Media and other related matters that might be considered somewhat negative. I live for the negative, how about you?
Newspapers
“The most truthful part of a newspaper is the advertisements.” Thomas Jefferson
“In the old days men had the rack. Now they have the press.” Oscar Wilde
“Newspapermen ask dumb questions. They look up at the sun and ask you if it’s shining.” Sonny Liston
“Looking at yourself through the media is like looking at one of those rippled mirrors in an amusement park.” Edmund Muskie
Publishers & Journalists
“Jack Anderson is the lowest form of human being to walk the earth. He’s a muckraker who lies, steals, and he’ll go lower than dog shit for a story.” J. Edgar Hoover
“Dorothy Kilgallen is the only woman I wouldn’t mind my wife catching me with. I don’t know why she took such umbrage at my comments on birth control, she’s such a living argument for it.” Johnny Carson
“If Hugh Hefner truly thinks that being spread-eagled is so fantastic, how come we haven’t seen his little wahoo with a staple in the middle?” CBS-TV
Television
“Acting on television is like being asked by the captain to entertain the passengers while the ship goes down.” Peter Ustinov
“Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.” Eric Sevaride
“I find television very educating. Every time someone turns on the set I go into the other room and read a book.” Groucho Marx
“TV is a medium, because it is neither rare nor well done.” Ernie Kovacs
Education
“Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.” Bob Dylan
“Our American professors like their literature clear and cold and pure and dead.” Sinclair Lewis
“The schools ain’t what they used to be and never was.” Will Rogers
❤️Anonymous (always the best)❤️
“Tabloids are fast reading for the slow thinkers.”
“The mission of the modern newspaper is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.”
Doctors bury mistakes. Lawyers hang them. But journalists put theirs on the front page.”
“Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults but for having faults different from theirs.”
“You can tell a Harvard man, but you can’t tell him much.”
I’m posting today from my living room on an old and somewhat unreliable laptop, It’s unreliable because it’s incredibly slow. My man-cave has been taken over by a gentleman who is spending this week removing our twenty year old heating sysytem and replacing it with a new and updated unit. Unfortunately for me that unit is in my man-cave and I was told to vacate the area by my better-half. So I hope to post this by the end of the day. Todays post contains three dirty jokes. Since we all need a little humor everyday it shouldn’t matter if they are a little corny and silly. These jokes were discovered in a book from an obscure on-line bookstore and were published in 1976. Lame and a little out of date but still humorous. Enjoy them . . .
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So this elderly couple were sitting in their tiny cold water flat on the lower Easr Side when the husband said, “Doris we’re in bad shape, inflation has eaten up our Social Security check. The next one isnt due for a week and we’ve got no money for food.” “Could I do anything to help?” she asked.”Yes” he said. “I hate to see you do this but it’s the only way, You’re going to have to go out on the street and hustle.” “Me?” she said “At the age of sixty-five.?” “It’s the only way,” he said. Resigned to the situation she put on a short skirt and went out into the cold night. She came staggering in early the next morning and he asked, “How did you do?” “Here”, she said “I’ve got four dollars and ten cents.” “Four dollars and ten cents, who in the hell gave you the ten cents?” “Everybody.” she said.
This fellow rushed into a crowed tavern on Saturday night, Men and women stood three-deep at the bar. Our man, who felt nature calling strongly, lookd around but couldn’t see anyting emotely resembling a bathroom. He saw a stairway and bounded up the steps to the second floor in his increasingly desperate search. Just as his bowels theatened to erupt, he spotted a one-foot by one-foot hole in the floor. Now, at the end of his control, he decided to take advantagee of the hole. He dropped his pants, hunched over it, and did his thing. Thoroughly relieved and relaxed, he sauntered down the steps to find, that the bar that had been so crowded a few minutes ago, was now empty. “Hey!” he yelled to the seemingly empty room, “Where is everyone?” From behind the bar a voice responded, “Where were you when the shit hit the fan?”
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Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor. Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He’d do pushup and somersaults to limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just laid around on their fat asses not doing a thing. One day, one of them became curious to ask Stanley why he exercised so much. Stanly said, “Look pal, only one sperm gets a woman pregnant and when the right time comes, I’m going to be that one.” A few days later they felt themselves getting hotter and hotter, it was getting to be their time to go. They were released abruptedly and, sure enough, there was Stanley swimming far ahead of the others. All of a sudden, Stanley stopped, turned around, and began swimming back with all his might. “GO BACK! GO BACK!,” he screamed,it’s a blow job.
Living in Maine is always an adventure especially concerning the changing weather patterns. Lots of snow, lots of wind, lots of ice, and lots of SNERT (melted snow mixed with dirt). I’ve always been a fan of cold weather and snow but my first three years in Maine gave me an entirely new perspective. My first winter purchase in Maine was a kick-ass snow blower which has become over the years my best winter friend. Other required purchases were skis, snow shoes, and layered clothing. I loved taking winter photos in the forests but that was taken to a whole other level when the snow was more than two feet deep. Todays post will be a list of weather related facts that might interest you. Mother Nature is a real bitch and she visits Maine and New England way too frequently.
Snow fell for thirty-six hours in New York in 1888. The storm dropped 50 inches of snow and became known as Great Blizzard of 1888.
Mt. Washington in New Hampshire holds the world-record of 231 mph wind gusts measured on the summit on April 12, 1934.
The Farmers Almanac lists various information, including information on the best days to castrate animals, to quit smoking, and to can jellies and jams.
Hurricane-force winds (74+ mph) occur on average every other day on Mt. Washington during the winter months.
The Blizzard of 1978 paralyzed New England for a week, dropping 27.1 inches of snow in Boston and over 40 inches in parts of Rhode Island, Massachusetts and Maine. Severe flooding occurred as the storm stalled off Long Island, combining hurricane-force wind gusts (up to 93 mph) with four destructive high-tide cycles. 99 fatalities were recorded across the states, with thousands of stranded motorists left on major highways throughout New England.
Ice storms are also common in Maine and our last major storm a few years back brought down thousands of trees and left us without electricity, water, and internet, for more than two weeks. Unfortunately that was before we purchased our whole-house generator. We did learn how to sleep with five or six blankets on the bed while wearing parkas, tassel hats, and ear muffs.
All of that being said I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. Maine is a beautiful state regardless of Mother Nature’s whims and the seacoast and beaches are second to none. It’s called America’s Vacationland for a reason.
In my humble opinion the most important thing a person can have is a healthy sense of humor. Without that a person loses most of their true personality and likeability. In the worst of times being able to “crack wise” and smile a little goes a long way to calm any situation. I constantly post quotations because they tell me more about a person than meeting them in person and having a casual conversation. Even people who I really don’t care for occasionally surprise me with their quotes and a few times I actually forgave them their stupidity and changed my opinion of them. That sounds a little harsh but all of us have the capability of being harsh, crass, and opinionated and still have thoughts worth sharing. Todays post contains quotations from some of my favorite people: comedians.
“Always look out for Number One and be careful not to step in Number Two.” Rodney Dangerfield
“It is said that life begins when the fetus can exist apart from it’s mother. By this definition, many people in Hollywood are legally dead.” Jay Leno
“I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.” Lily Tomlin
“My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.” Steven Wright
“I am at two with nature.” Woody Allen
“Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.” Rosanne Barr
You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again”. Joan Rivers
“My plastic surgeon told me my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.” Phyllis Diller
“When I meet a man I ask myself, “Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?” Rita Rudner
“In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.” Johnny Carson
❤️❤️❤️
BONUS FOR RETIREES
“Sex after ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in it’s holder is a thrill.”
It appears today will be a slow day. Gray skies, rainy, and just chilly enough to let us know that snow is on the way soon. With that depressing thought in mind I’ll be lazy and post some little known facts you may not have heard before.
The first soda can was developed in 1938 by the Continental Can Company for the ginger ale drink Clicquot in Massachusetts. RC Cola was the first soft drink company to nationally distribute soda in cans in 1954.
In 1968, the Navy spent $400,00.00 in a study of Frisbees in wind tunnels, using cameras and computers. The results were never published.
Dr. Joseph Bell inspired the character of Sherlock Holmes. In 1877 when Arthur Conan Doyle was studying to be a doctor, Bell was one of his professors. Dr. Bell had excellent deductive abilities when observing people.
The state of Oklahoma comes from the Choctaw Indians words: “okla” meaning people and “humma” meaning red, so the state’s name literally means “red people”.
To satisfy President Ronald Reagan more than 24 thousand pounds of jelly beans were ordered by the White House during his two terms in office.
On July 11, 1804, Vice President Aaron Burr shot and killed the Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton in a duel in Weehawken, New Jersey.
James Madison stood only 5’4′. He was also the lightest president weighing in at just a 100 pounds.
On April 11,1912, pinstripes appeared on the uniforms of the Highlanders, who were the forerunners of the New York Yankees.
In 1872 the Equal Rights Party nominated Victoria Claflin Woodhall for the Presidency. This was at a time when, nationwide, women were not allowed to vote.
Aldous Huxley published his novel Brave New World in 1933. George Orwell followed in 1949 with “1984”of a society run by the Thought Police and Big Brother.
I am what could be considered a member of the first “TV Generation”. I saw my first B&W television in the early 1950’s and I’ve been hooked ever since. During the years 1967-1970 I was in the Army in an area that offered just radio but no television at all and I suffered. Once I returned home after my service I became truly obsessed and addicted once again. There are millions just like me from at least three generations and that’s who this quiz is targeting. Here are the “dirty dozen + one” trivia questions from the early years of TV . . . lets see how you do. As always the answers will be listed below.
What soap star played the voice of Charlie on “Charlies Angels“?
Which two “Different Strokes” stars were sent to prison for criminal felonies?
Which actors demands for higher pay caused the demise of the “Mork & Mindy” show?
What dancing movie star played Bandit, the leader of a law-enforcement gang, in the short-lived show “The Renegades”?
Which of the stars from “Barney Miller” died during the shows run?
Which star of “Welcome Back, Kotter” became one of the biggest movie stars of the 1970’s and beyond?
Which star of “One Day at a Time” once shared cocaine with her father.
What famous actor/comedian played Jodie. the homosexual on “Soap”
Who was the last member of the original cast of “Saturday Night Live” to be hired?
What movie star-turned-director got his big break as Rowdy Yates on “Rawhide”?
What “Star Trek” actor played Robin on “Mission: Impossible”?
What two actors on “Taxi” also appeared in the film “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”?
Here is one of My Favorite actors who deserves a BONUS mention:
Which actor from “WKRP in Cincinnati” went on to star as a teacher on “The Head of the Class”?
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HOW MANY DID YOU KNOW?
Answers
John Forsythe, Dana Plato (armed robbery) and Todd Bridges (attempted murder), Pam Dauber, Patrick Swayze, Jack Soo (Nick Yemana), John Travolta (Vinnie Barbarino), Mackenzie Phillips (Julie), Billie Crystal, John Belushi, Clint Eastwood, Leonard Nimoy, Danny DeVito & Christopher Lloyd, BONUS: Howard Hesseman (Doctor Johnny Fever)
I am finally qualified to be considered a true “Mainer”. I moved to Maine in 1999 and was told by some of the natives that I would have to live here for at least 25 years before I could even be considered a “Mainer”. I can now wear that distinction with honor since I’m my 26th year of residency. Maine is a beautiful place with Mother Nature displaying all of her wonders at every turn. Most people know very little about Maine except for it’s abundance of lobsters, a rather expensive delicacy. Unfortunately I’m one of a very small group of people who actually dislike lobsters and everything connected with them. Being the book nerd that I am I decided to learn more about lobsters and their history because I’d heard odd stories over the years about how lobsters came to be the ultimate food with a price tag that could make you gasp. Here is a paraphrased account of some lobster history.
Lobsters have always been plentiful along the coast of Maine. The Pilgrims likely dined on lobster at the first Thanksgiving. There are stories of two-foot high piles of lobsters simply washing up on the shore during that time period. When things are plentiful the price is usually reasonable as was the case until the 1800’s. Massive quantities of cheap lobster weren’t all that appetizing at the time and were used to feed prison inmates and indentured servants. Some nearby states had rules insisting their inmates eat canned lobster meat more than once a week, and other sources noted that indentured servants often demanded that their contracts limit the number of lobster meals to no more than twice weekly.
Once lobsters were able to be shipped alive, over long distances, the Maine lobster became much sought after in the Boson and New York areas. Over the next decades that custom spread across the country and even during World War II lobster was considered a high priced delicacy and not subject to wartime rationing. My how things have changed. During the recent World Cup invasion I listened to some of our British friends trying out their first taste of our famous lobster rolls. They loved the taste enough to pay upwards of $40.00 for a small sandwich. That’s just another big reason for me to avoid that delicacy since I’ve always been a cheap SOB.
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Just pass me two of those big, fat, and juicy hamburgers, “Thank you very much!
As I spend a great deal of my day sitting at this computer, it gives me time to think and possibly overthink everything. I feel like I have a comprehensive view of the world and all of it’s effed up citizens and countries. The more you discover about the human race the worse it seems to get. If the World Cup didn’t tell all of us Americans just how lucky we are in comparison to every other country on earth, just listen to their citizens as they post about us. Americans do more pissing and moaning about their circumstances and never fail to trash American at every turn. These visiting Europeans are setting a fine example for all of our disgruntled Americans. They’ve been lied to for decades about this country and realized it almost immediately upon their arrival. The “bitchers and moaners” in this country should be required to spend a couple of weeks anywhere else and maybe just maybe they’ll gain a better perspective about their home. Take thousands of dollars of your hard earned money and attend the next World Cup. Pay for travel, food, lodging, and entry fees and then get back to me. Just be careful and don’t drink the water. LOL
“Good leaders make for good countries.” ME!
“High sentiments always win in the end. The leaders who offer blood, toil, tears and sweat always get more out their followers than those who offer safety and a good time. When it comes to the pinch, human beings are heroic.” George Orwell
“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.” Gen. George S. Patton Jr.
“I am more afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion than an army of lions led by a sheep.” Talleyrand
“My view is that to sit back and let fate play it’s hand and never influence it is not the way man was meant to operate.” John Glenn
“Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then we shall find the way.” Abraham Lincoln
This post is about one thing. In times of war our citizens, regardless of station, respond to the call to arms for their country. Here are a few facts about some of our better-known citizens from the WW II era. These are only a small sampling of those who served at that time but there are many hundreds currently serving “in harms way”. Pray for all of them.
LEE MARVIN
Lee Marvin served with the 1st Marine Division and participated in several campaigns throughout the Pacific and was seriously wounded at the Battle of Saipan where he sustained severe wounds to his left arm and chest. This resulted in his discharge from active duty. The injuries caused him to have only limited use of the arm for the rest of his life. He was laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery.
Rosanno Brazzi joined the Italian resistance after his parents were murdered by the Fascists.
AUDREY HEPBURN
Audrey Hepburnbefore becoming a Hollywood icon, teenager Audrey Hepburn secretly aided the Dutch Resistance during World War II. Living in the Nazi-occupied Netherlands, she used her innocent appearance to carry underground messages, help downed Allied pilots, and raise money for people in hiding. She nearly starved in occupied Holland, living on two loaves of bread for one month.
MEL BROOKS
Mel Brooks was drafted at age 18 in 1944 and served in the United States Army during World War II. He was drafted in 1944 at age 18 and served as a combat engineer in Europe defusing landmines to clear supply routes while under fire. He also in the Battle of the Bulge.
Aaron Spelling served in the U.S. Army Air Force and was awarded the Bronze Star and Purple Heart with Oak Leaf Cluster.
“SCOTTY” DOOHAN
James Doohan(Star Trek’s Scotty) enlisted in the Royal Canadian Artillery and fought during the D-Day invasion at Juno Beach, where he was wounded seriously in action.
GEORGE BUSH SR.
President George Bush Sr. was the US Navy’s youngest-ever fighter pilot. He flew 58 missions and was once shot down (and rescued) from the Pacific ocean. He was awarded five medals.
I wasn’t sure I’d be posting today since my best and fastest computer stopped cooperating a few days ago. With the assistance of my better-half, some written instructions from my nephew (who built it), and three or four thousand juicy curse words, I’m once again operational. A tip for those of you who may have computer issues of your own: RULE 1 – do not drink shots of whiskey while attempting to relocate and adjust tiny little switches in the computer. It slows down the progress immensely. Along with that my better-half found out just how skilled I was at stringing those curse words together. Her training continues. LOL Todays post is titled BIZARRE for a reason.
Katherine Hepburn suffered from a phobia of dirty hair. When she was shooting films for Twentieth Century Fox, she would sniff the heads of cast and crew to make sure their hair was squeaky clean.
In Vermont it is illegal to whistle underwater.
Pennsylvania law books record a 1971 case of a man suing Satan – for his own bad luck and downfall. The case was thrown out of court on the grounds that Satan did not live in the state of Pennsylvania.
Don’t ever fall asleep in a bath tub in Detroit. You could be arrested because sleeping in bathtubs is illegal in the city.
“You have to be saved to get into heaven . . . you only have to be you to get into hell.” Marilyn Manson
In the ancient city of Jericho the dead were buried under the houses they lived in. But first their heads were severed, covered with plaster and clay, and decorated for their families to worship.
Catherine, wife of Russian czar Peter I, had a wandering eye, and Peter caught on. To teach Catherine a lesson, he forced her to watch her lover be killed, then pickled the lover’s head and kept it in their bedroom.
In the 17th century, midwives had a custom of saving a woman’s afterbirth, or placenta, and then burning it. The superstition was that the number of times the burning placenta popped indicated the number of children the mother could expect in the future.
For decades sports stars have claimed that appearing on the cover of Sports Illustrated magazine was the fastest way to a slump or defeat.
When John Madden was the coach of the Oakland Raiders football team, he wouldn’t let the team leave the locker room until running back Mark van Eeghen had belched.
