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04-19-2014 Journal Entry – Easter Memories!   Leave a comment

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I never celebrate Easter.  Since it’s supposed to be a religious holiday and I’m not in anyway religious, I choose not to celebrate. As a kid my Mother celebrated anything and everything remotely religious due to her strict Catholic upbringing and education. I had no choice in those days so I went along as best I could but only as far as partaking of the more secular side of things . . . chocolate.  My Easter memories as a child are all about candy and eggs but not much religion.

My  Father was a living and breathing agnostic who side stepped religious matters religiously but even he couldn’t side step all of the holidays.  Another of my fondest memories of Easter was the year my parents bought my sister and I white rabbits.  They were all cute and fluffy and I clearly remember trying to get one of those little buggers from beneath our old refrigerator on Easter morning.  They eventually grew up to be rather large adult bunnies forcing my Dad to build a large hutch in the backyard to house them. There was always a stream of complaints from him about feeding the damn rabbits or cleaning out the damn cage etc. etc. etc.  Who knew it would all end in murder.

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One lovely summer day we returned home from playing with some of the neighborhood kids just in time for supper.  We were seated at the table ready to dig in when I found out just how much my Dad really didn’t like those rabbits.  He had dispatched the little darlings earlier in the day and they were placed on the table as the entree.  Needless to say my Mother, Sister, and I fled the scene with my Father left sitting there with a puzzled look on his face. He just didn’t get it at all.

I still don’t celebrate Easter and I never eat rabbits under any circumstances.  It’s  creeps me out to this day. 

Have you ever had a really long term close personal friend?  They’re a rare gift and in most cases are never really appreciated until their gone.  My best friend was named Dick and he passed away approximately 15 years ago.  He is partially responsible for another of my crazier Easter memories from our childhood. I’ve written in the past about the 1955 Birdville Elementary School Easter Egg Hunt fire.  It’s a really funny story that I may repost again in it’s entirety on another day.  Let it be said that Dick and I traumatized the Easter memories of a entire elementary school that year.  A small lit cigarette turned into a raging inferno that burnt down a two acre field next to the school where the teachers and parents had hidden all of the Easter eggs.  The field was burned, the eggs were cooked, and so were we.  We paid a really heavy price for just a few minutes of stupid.

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So now you understand my hesitation to celebrate even the silly secular side of this holiday.  I hope you all enjoy your Eater celebration with your family and friends in whatever manner you choose to celebrate it.  For me it’s just another fun day here in paradise.  Pass the chocolate please.

05-03-2013   2 comments

Does anyone reading this blog think I’m an MTV lover?  Up until recently you would have been right if you said no. That was before I discovered a show which made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself.  It’s called "The Girl Code" and I’ve kinda-sorta made it a part of my permanent watch list. The show introduces a group of really attractive young women who appear to be into clubbing, carousing, and enjoying the life of a typical woman in her twenties. They are offering their insights and rules into dating behavior that is so damn funny (and probably true) I just couldn’t stop watching and laughing.

I was quietly surfing through the TV channels one morning just minding my own business when I happened upon a really beautiful young woman.  She was in the process of reciting one of the Girl Code Rules that I was totally unfamiliar with.  It was and I quote, "Plop, flush, and get out."  It concerned Ladies Room etiquette that we men haven’t been made privy to until now. Their list of rules appears endless and merciless to themselves, their friends, and their potential boyfriend candidates.  Here’s a little more random information I’m supposed to believe are rules being followed by the young dating females in this country.  I must admit I’m a bit skeptical and intimidated.

  • The number one rule  is the MOST IMPORTANT ONE OF ALL.  No girl may date her friend’s; exes, past crushes, guys who have humiliated/used her and guys she currently fancies.  Acceptation’s to the rule: a) Your friend has given you permission/ couldn’t care less.
  • If you change boyfriends so fast they rarely achieve name status, a man must be around for at least six weeks before you make your friends bother to learn his first name. Until such time, he should be referred to as "The boy" or "That guy".
  • All girls must have a "Mr.Right Now". This is the guy friend who is always ready and available to hang out with you, and may or may not like you as more than a friend. He is always ready to party till dawn, and do things you wish you didn’t remember in the morning. He’s not “Mr. Right,” but he may be good enough to be “Mr. Right Now.”
  • If you just met a guy and know absolutely nothing about him, but need to refer to him during ‘girl talk’ you use one example of who he is, something he has, or what he does, and he becomes… that guy. (Ex. "The Camaro guy", "The Trainer dude", "The Four a.m. in the Taxi Guy")
  • Every girl must wait at least a day and a half before calling a guy whose number she has retrieved.
  • You are never in any case to date a friends ex or a guy who she was really into. Exception: If he’s one of those guys who every girl likes.
  • A girl has a right to lie in order to keep a secret told to her by her best friend.
  • It is fine to act like a BFF with someone and still think they’re weird, annoying, sluts, etc. behind their back but only if you talk about it with your REAL best friend.
  • Trying to hard to be friends with someone or some people makes you look annoying and stupid. Everyone will talk about you. And nobody will actually like you. DONT TRY TOO HARD.

I’m certainly glad my days of dating are over.  If you’re a guy these days it’s kinda like walking through a minefield in your bare feet.  If I stumble upon anymore of these  unknown female rules and requirements I’ll be sure to pass them along immediately. The more information we males can collect and share can only help us in our eternal quest for recreational sex.  My best advice is to tune in to MTV and catch a few episodes of Girl Rules.  You may learn a thing or two but even if you don’t the girls are attractive and their rules are hysterical. 

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