Archive for the ‘easter’ Tag
Here is your daily collection of somewhat interesting useless information. Read, learn, and pass it along to friends, family and coworkers. I’m sure they’ll appreciate receiving them as much as you do receiving it from me. LOL
- Too much coffee can kill you. A lethal dose of caffeine for the average adult is approximately 10 grams, or the equivalent of drinking between 50 and 200 cups of coffee in rapid succession.
- The largest human cell is the female ovum. The smallest is the male sperm.
- Mosquito repellent doesn’t repel mosquitoes. It only blocks their sensors so that they don’t know you’re there.
- Members of the U.S. Congress are the world’s highest-paid legislators.
- The bristled toothbrush originated in China around the year 1498. The bristles, fixed to a bamboo or bone handle, were neck hairs from Siberian boars.
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- One of the holiest Christian holidays is named after a pagan goddess. The word Easter derives from the Anglo-Saxon goddess Eostre, who governed the vernal equinox.
- In 1659, the Massachusetts General Court ordered a five shilling fine to be paid by anyone caught celebrating Christmas. The ban was revoked in 1681.
- In his role as James Bond, the super spy, Sean Connery wore a toupee to hide his receding hairline.
- Artists have more sexual partners. Researchers suggest that creative people excel at attracting mates, acting on sexual impulses, and doing more than their share of ensuring species survival because they often display “schizotypal” characteristics which are the positive side of schizophrenic personality traits.
- Wedding rings date back thousands of years. The ancient Romans and Egyptians both believe that a vein called the vena amoria ran directly from the ring finger to the heart.
MORE INFORMATION FROM YOUR FAVORITE “SCHIZO”
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Over the years I’ve consistently stated that I was not a fan of organized religions. You can disagree or agree, that’s your privilege. I also don’t participate in religious holiday celebrations either. That being said, I know many of you do. Here is my contribution this year to add to your holiday cheer. We always need a little humor thrown into the mix.
Robert just graduated with a degree in Clinical Psychology and opened his first office. After some successful advertising he was astounded to have nearly 200 people wanting to be in group therapy. Robert decided to rent a large hall and invite the entire group. To break the ice, and to get the therapy started, he decided to ask for a show of hands how often the attendees had sex. He first asked for a show of hands of all the people who had sex almost every night. A modest number of hands were raised. He then asked, how many had sex once a week. This time a larger number of hands were raised. Robert then asked how many had sex once or twice a month. Again a few hands were raised. After he polled his group several more times, he noticed John sitting off to the side with this huge beaming grin on his face. He also noticed that John had never raised his hand, so he asked him how often he had sex. John stated proudly, “Once a year!” Robert then responded, “Why are you so happy getting sex only once a year??” John smiling from ear-to-ear responded, “Tonight’s the night!”
HAPPY EASTER!
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‘Religious & Silly?’
Well with another Easter finally here we should be that much closer to warmer temperatures. Having a bright sunny day just isn’t enough when the temperatures remain at or below freezing. That’s just another of Mother Nature’s teases but there’s only one way I like to be teased and this isn’t it.
It’s 10:30 am and I’ve yet to move from my bed. The better-half and I have been playing a vicious game of "Words With Friends" which I hate to admit I just lost by one effing point. Starting my day without kicking her butt may be a bad omen for the rest of my Easter Sunday. I know I’ll be hearing about this win all day.
‘Religious & Badass??’
It’s another chilling and gray day that’ll keep me from getting anything done outside. I refuse to be cold and miserable while doing all of those boring little chores that need to be completed. When the sun finally decides to come out then so will I. I was forbidden by my better-half from saying that “When the sun has risen . . then so will I”. She felt that would be rude to all of you religious folks out there. I disagree somewhat because almost all of the religious people I know are permitted a sense-of-humor. Hers has yet to be fully developed but “I pray” it will someday.
We celebrated Easter yesterday along with the one year birthday of our grandson. It was a fun party with lots of cake and presents but it also allowed us to have a quiet day today. We’re looking forward to a couple of steaks cooked on the grill tonight along with a bottle of blueberry Mead I’ve been saving for a special occasion.
Easter for me has no religious connotation but I know it does for my better-half. As with most things having a good stiff drink always helps me feel a little more religious (she won’t think that’s too funny either).
‘Religious & Intergalactic’
I’ll get this posted in the next few minutes and then spend the remainder of the day working on a pencil sketch that’s captured my interest this week. I hope all of you are enjoying your holiday with your families. Religious or not.
SORRY I CAN’T FIND ANYTHING RELIGIOUS ABOUT AN EASTER BUNNY
JUST SAYING LOVEY!
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I never celebrate Easter. Since it’s supposed to be a religious holiday and I’m not in anyway religious, I choose not to celebrate. As a kid my Mother celebrated anything and everything remotely religious due to her strict Catholic upbringing and education. I had no choice in those days so I went along as best I could but only as far as partaking of the more secular side of things . . . chocolate. My Easter memories as a child are all about candy and eggs but not much religion.
My Father was a living and breathing agnostic who side stepped religious matters religiously but even he couldn’t side step all of the holidays. Another of my fondest memories of Easter was the year my parents bought my sister and I white rabbits. They were all cute and fluffy and I clearly remember trying to get one of those little buggers from beneath our old refrigerator on Easter morning. They eventually grew up to be rather large adult bunnies forcing my Dad to build a large hutch in the backyard to house them. There was always a stream of complaints from him about feeding the damn rabbits or cleaning out the damn cage etc. etc. etc. Who knew it would all end in murder.
One lovely summer day we returned home from playing with some of the neighborhood kids just in time for supper. We were seated at the table ready to dig in when I found out just how much my Dad really didn’t like those rabbits. He had dispatched the little darlings earlier in the day and they were placed on the table as the entree. Needless to say my Mother, Sister, and I fled the scene with my Father left sitting there with a puzzled look on his face. He just didn’t get it at all.
I still don’t celebrate Easter and I never eat rabbits under any circumstances. It’s creeps me out to this day.
Have you ever had a really long term close personal friend? They’re a rare gift and in most cases are never really appreciated until their gone. My best friend was named Dick and he passed away approximately 15 years ago. He is partially responsible for another of my crazier Easter memories from our childhood. I’ve written in the past about the 1955 Birdville Elementary School Easter Egg Hunt fire. It’s a really funny story that I may repost again in it’s entirety on another day. Let it be said that Dick and I traumatized the Easter memories of a entire elementary school that year. A small lit cigarette turned into a raging inferno that burnt down a two acre field next to the school where the teachers and parents had hidden all of the Easter eggs. The field was burned, the eggs were cooked, and so were we. We paid a really heavy price for just a few minutes of stupid.
So now you understand my hesitation to celebrate even the silly secular side of this holiday. I hope you all enjoy your Eater celebration with your family and friends in whatever manner you choose to celebrate it. For me it’s just another fun day here in paradise. Pass the chocolate please.
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I wonder about Christmas sometimes. We know it wasn’t the actual day that Christ was born and we’re pretty sure the entire story was made up well after the fact by people who weren’t even there. Yet it remains the ultimate religious observance except maybe for Easter where religion has slowly faded into the background. As always I have a lot of questions and felt the need to search out some answers. Unfortunately there are as many answers as there are versions of the original story. Here’s a few that I found.
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Why are there Twelve Days of Christmas?
Traditionally, it took the ‘Three Kings’ this number of days to find the baby Jesus. Their arrival on the twelfth day was celebrated in the form of the Feast of Epiphany in medieval France, and later in other countries.
Where did the Candy Cane come from?
In a small Indiana town, there was a candy maker who wanted to spread the name of Jesus around the world. He invented the Christmas Candy Cane, incorporating symbols for the birth, ministry, and death of Jesus Christ. He began with a stick of pure white, hard candy to symbolize the Virgin Birth. The candy maker formed the stick into a “J” to represent the name of Jesus or it can also represent the staff of the “Good Shepherd.” He thought the candy was too plain so he stained it with a red stripe to symbolize the blood shed by Christ on the cross.
Weird Christmas Games
Shoe the Wild Mare
Shoeing the Wild Mare is a traditional Christmas game that goes back to at least the early 17th century. Get a narrow(a few inches wide),strong wooden beam and suspend it from the roof with two even length ropes. The beam is the ‘mare’ of the title and should be level yet high enough above the floor so that a player’s feet are off-ground. A player ‘the farrier’ then sits on the ‘mare’ in the center, a leg on either side. This player has a hammer and has to give the underside of the beam “four time eight blows” at a designated spot. If he falls off, it is someone else’s turn. Much hilarity, and the odd broken shoulder ensues.
Snapdragons
Apparently this is the best game ever to play on Christmas Eve. Make sure you have the fire department on speed dial though. Very popular from the 16th to the 19th centuries, Snapdragons has explicably declined in popularity.
Gather everyone around the dining room table, place a large flat dish in the center. In the dish scatter a good handful of raisins then pour on top a layer of brandy or cognac. Set fire to the brandy and dim the lights. Players take turns plucking a raisin out of the burning liquid and eating it quickly. For a more competitive edge to the game use larger dried fruit such as apricots, one of which has a lucky coin stuffed inside.
Equipment needed: plate, matches, raisins, brandy, and the address of nearest fire department.
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I could easily have added another fifty items even more stupid than these but life’s too short. I’ve decided that every story about Christmas and every weird tradition that’s been adopted any where on the planet is nothing more than a large steaming pile. I give up. When it comes right down to it Christmas is no more legitimate than Kwanza. I’d love to be around in a hundred years or so to see what Kwansa morphs into. They’ll always be a herd of idiots who’ll believe almost anything they’re told by just about anyone. I wonder if this country will ever be invaded by Kwanza believers with bombs strapped to their chests, angry that their religion is being disrespected. It could happen. I’m also glad I won’t be here to see it.
MERRY EFFING KWANZA
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I hope your Easter celebration went well. I usually don’t celebrate Easter since I’m not much of a believer. If you don’t celebrate it religiously what remains is kind of ridiculous. Rabbits, colored eggs, egg hunts, and all the other nonsense tend to make me a little crazy. My better-half loves to celebrate Easter and regardless of my feelings she goes a little overboard (big surprise) every year.
I was ordered to sleep in today because, hoo-ray hoo-ray, she had a day off. I was told in no uncertain terms that we’d be sleeping in as long as possible to start our day. I was certainly okay with that. I offered to make her breakfast in bed but she declined and then directed me to get dressed so we could get out of the house and spend a part of the day in the sunshine. That sounded good too so I did. We finally rolled out of bed and what do I find waiting for me but an Easter basket with enough candy stuffed into it to feed a large family. As usual I had nothing for her because I’m what you might call an Anti-Easter person. She wanted to celebrate the holiday and I was making sure we celebrated her day off as well.
She began preparations for our Easter breakfast which I immediately put a stop to. I told her to get dressed because we were first going out for breakfast and then to the beach. We drove along the ocean to Old Orchard Beach and stopped for breakfast at one of our favorite spots and it was terrific. We had a window seat and were able to watch everyone as they arrived in town to walk the beach with their families and pets. It was obvious that everyone was more than ready for the long winter to finally be over.
The breakfast was excellent and the place was crowded with people enjoying their Easter Sunday. We stopped back at the car, grabbed our cameras, and hit the beach. When I say everyone was out I wasn’t kidding. People, kids, dogs, and even a couple of horses were sunbathing and some were even crazy enough to walk in the freezing surf. It was just wonderful. We stayed for a hour or two after taking some really cool photographs of our day.
After returning home we just spent some quiet time together and then made the obligatory telephone calls to family and friends. The sun was still shining so we brought the grill out of storage and reinstalled it back on the deck. I marinated and grilled two gorgeous steaks while she prepared a couple of salads and baked potatoes. The food was delicious and when we finished eating we cleaned up the mess and plopped on the couch to relax.
It wasn’t long before she began to yawn and I knew her day was almost over since she had to be up early for work. She was happy and contented and obviously enjoyed her Easter celebration a great deal. I as always was grateful for our time together which is precious to me.
It was a great day and the perfect way to start our changeover from Winter to Spring. I hope your day was even better than ours.
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everyuselessthing.com 