Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away I was required to work eight hours a day, 40 hours a week, with insurance companies. Truthfully it wasn’t much fun and after talking to literally hundreds of insurance company employees, they agreed. I was forced to read hundreds of accident reports and then pass them on to the insurance carriers. Some information contained in those reports was incredible to say the least. The following list of quotations is taken from actual submitted insurance claims concerning automobile accidents. You can read them, take your time, and try to figure out exactly what they mean. Here we go . . .

• “I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull.”

• “Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. The other car collided with mine without giving me warning of its intention.”

• “I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.”

• “I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.”

• “The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve several times before I hit him.”

• “I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.”

• “In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.”

• “As I approached the intersection a sign appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.”

• “The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run. So I ran over him.”

• “I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.”

• “The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.”

• “I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.”

• “An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.”

• “The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.”

• “I had been shopping for a plant all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision, and I did not see the other car.”

I give thanks everyday that I know longer have to deal with this nonsense. The only thing worse than dealing with insurance companies is dealing with their customers.

BEWARE! THEIR EVERYWHERE