Since I had a lot to say about dogs yesterday, it seems only right that I report a few things, both good and bad about cats. Here are a few . . .
7000 years ago, some of the first settlers in ancient Egypt were farmers, growing grain along the banks of the Nile. Their fields were overrun with about a zillion mice and ravenous rats. The farmers helped the cats develop a taste for those little rodents and one good cat could clear a field of vermin in an evening. They became such a part of the Egyptian lifestyle that in later years they were actually worshiped.
Bastet was an Egyptian goddess with the body of a woman and the head of a cat. She became one of the most revered of the Egyptian gods, in charge of fertility, beauty, and motherhood.
Julius Caesar, King Henry II, King Charles XI, and Napoleon all had terrible aelurophobia, a fear of cats.
The prophet Mohammed was a big cat lover. His favorite cat, Muezza, once saved his life by warning him about a dangerous snake.
Florence Nightingale, the world’s most famous nurse, was cat crazy. She owned more than 60 cats over the course of her lifetime.
One more Egyptian note. In the 1800’s archaeologists digging in the shadows of the Egyptian pyramids unearthed a huge cemetery filled with more than 300,000 cat mummies.
I hope all of you rabid dog fans out there can now relax a little. We cat persons understand, appreciate, and sympathize about your passion for dogs. Some of your emails were a little disturbing but I really do understand your pain. LOL
This is my former owner “Stormy” who passed away 3 years ago after suffering a heart attack. He spent 17 years with me and is sadly missed. This post is in his memory.
He was a sly and subtle cat who was laid back and always appeared aloof and uncaring. I’ve been acquainted over many years with seven cats and each one has had its own peculiarities and personality quirks. After years of observing them all I’ve determined that one characteristic was common to them all. I call it the 20 second, Delayed Response Syndrome. With dogs you shout a command and they spring to their feet wagging their tails and just begging to do your bidding. I think cats get the same rush from our attention but they choose not to show it quite so openly. They’ll sit and wait for 20 seconds then nonchalantly stroll over to see what’s going on. Try it out yourself if you’re owned by a cat, it’s amazing.
You’ll also note that I continually say “owned by a cat” and I’m not kidding. Years ago I read a Sci-Fi short story that went a long way to convincing me that an actual alien invasion of the Earth had already taken place. Apparently thousands of years ago the first cats landed on this planet and began their slow and deliberate takeover. Many people say the Chinese are people who think long-term. Compared to cats the Chinese have the attention span of a moth around a flame. I consider myself a well trained and officially certified pet belonging to a cat.
Let me explain further. My better-half was a dog person and when we finally decided to cohabitate I was concerned about her relationship with “Stormy”. He and I had been together for almost 10 years at that time and had been living the swinging bachelor lifestyle. It appeared to be a Mexican standoff with my better-half and her son for the first month but slowly and surely Stormy began to reel them in.
We bought him only the best food, fresh water every day, and we shoveled and cleaned his disgusting litter box all too often. He also had access to an outside deck where he could lounge all day in the sun and chase a bird or two. He had the good life and he knew it.
We mourned the loss of Stormy but life must go on. After a year and a half we finally decided we needed a new owner and we made a trip to the local shelter. Now let me introduce you all to the new Queen of the World, “Lucy”.
She is a handful. She is snippy, sassy, and opinionated. She is the center of her own universe and therefore so are we. She is attitude personified and has enough for ten cats. If we feed her food she doesn’t like, she just walks away. She also expects special treats each and every time someone walks near her food dishes.
Stormy was always a quiet unassuming cat but she is anything but. She never shuts up. She walks through the house showing her annoyance with just about everything. God help us all if the litter box isn’t kept clean enough. She’ll just squeal a little and then poop on the floor next to it and then just strut away. As you can see in the photo she has that “evil eye” thing going on. She gives me that stare at least ten times a day.
Finally last night as I was just dozing off she jumped up on the bed and allowed me to move the hell over and make room for her. What a sweetheart. Because I didn’t immediately begin to pet and cuddle her she turned her back on me and left the room. I found her later sleeping on my chair in the living room.
I’d like to continue this story but the sun’s coming out and Queen Lucy has been bugging me for the last 20 minutes to open the door to the deck. She gets a tad grumpy if she doesn’t get her deck time.
It’s just seventeen more days to Christmas. I realize that’s not a big secret to any of you so let me continue. There’s seventeen days left until Christmas and for the first time in my life I’m suffering a little from sunburn. Can you believe that? The weather here in what is normally cold and snowy Maine defies belief. It’s been bright and sunny for the last week with daytime temperatures climbing into the mid fifties. U.F.B.
Two days ago I found myself digging into the storage area where I placed the deck furniture two weeks ago, looking for my chaise lounge. I dragged it out onto the deck and set it up in the place that gets the most sunshine at this time of the year. As I was doing that I couldn’t help thinking how absolutely crazy it was.
I was wearing a short sleeved “Guns and Roses” T-shirt and a pair of shorts which is also a bit ridiculous but "what the hell", I plopped down with a hot cup of hazelnut coffee and my I-Pod. I was able to relax for a few hours listening to a little Amy Winehouse and a lot of Harry Chapin. It was the most pleasant experience I’ve had in weeks. No cell phone calls, no annoying text messages, and no visitors. Just Harry, Amy, Me, and my cat. I have to consider this my first and best Christmas gift for 2015 and it’s one I gave it to myself.
As I stepped into the shower later after my workout I suddenly remembered that hot water on a semi-sunburned body hurts like hell. I received just enough sun on my arms, face, and neck to make that shower a little torturous. It was a good pain and if I’m really lucky I may get one more chance to do it again tomorrow since the weather forecasting geniuses are calling for more sunshine.
Another plus is that my tanned face will make my white beard look even whiter. I was asked by a toddler in line at a Walmart register a few days ago if I was Santa Clause and what could I say to the little guy? I lied through my teeth, of course, and told him “Yes I was”. I then asked him if he’d been a good boy this year and of course he lied right back at me. He said he’d been good all year. His mother was standing behind him smiling and shaking her head with a big "No". It made my day and I think it made his too. He got to meet, greet, and lie to Santa Clause. How cool is that?
This is slowly becoming the weirdest Christmas I’ve ever had and believe me that’s a good thing because I absolutely love "weird".
How is your holiday season progressing? Are your preparations ahead of schedule or behind? Is your Christmas tree real or artificial? Are your kids driving you crazy yet? Has your alcohol consumption increased progressively with the holiday pressures? All really good questions but as we all know they’re rhetorical.
The drumbeat of Christmas is getting louder each day. I go to sleep thinking about what I’ve accomplished that day and wake up thinking about all of the stuff that I still need to accomplish today. I am so full of Christmas cheer I could scream out loud. After rereading this paragraph I think I discovered something else I must be full of. You get my drift, right? I’M LOSING IT MAN!
Here is my kitchen table as I found it this morning:
Trust me when I tell you the entire living room and family room look exactly like it as well. I’m knee deep in Christmas and there’s still 18 shopping days left. It could take us until sometime in February to repack all this stuff and I can’t wait. At least the damn cat seems to be enjoying himself:
I haven’t had my breakfast yet but since I can’t eat in the kitchen I may retire to the deck and eat there. That’s right, the sun is shining and it’s still warm enough to sit outside and have breakfast. It’s madness I tell you.
Even Mother Nature appears confused by the weather. I took a stroll around the property yesterday for no other reason than to get a little sun on my pasty white body. I found this lonely little flower in the side yard. One stupid dandelion that’s decided it’s really not December but April. I can officially say this is the latest I’ve ever seen any flower growing and blooming.
‘The all-time dumbest flower on the planet.’
I’d like to continue on with this post but I’m getting the evil eye from my better-half. It’s time to get back to my Santa duties. Everything has to be just perfect for the grandsons when they arrive (in two and a half effing weeks). Sorry about the language but all these red and green colors are finally getting to me or maybe it’s just my requested Christmas aneurism finally showing up.
I hope someone tells Santa just what a good boy I’ve been this year. He owes me big time.
Say goodbye to October everyone. This last month has just flown by and once again ended with no Halloween trick or treaters at our house. Depending on how you look at it, it could be both a good thing and a bad thing. Being in a rural area with very few toddlers around, we’re usually safe from pranksters and vandals and that’s a good thing. The bad thing is for my better-half who prays for costumed kids to show up in great numbers. These days she’s forced to pour all of her Halloween craziness on her grandchildren and she does . . . in spades.
Our out-of-town visitors arrived yesterday afternoon, intact and tired after an eight hour drive through NJ, NY, CT, MA, NH, and finally Maine. With this recent burst of warm weather we decided to do a little grilling on the deck. It’s likely to be the final time we’ll be using the grill this year and next week it will be winterized and stored away. Here’s a quick shot of the kabobs just before hitting the grill. They were yummy.
If that does make your mouth water just a little you may have a serious problem. The food was excellent and gave everyone a chance to sit back and relax and catch up a little.
I’m up early this morning and enjoying a cup of strong and hot coffee. I fed the cat and he apparently enjoyed his breakfast because he just strutted into the man-cave looking for a comfortable place to plop. After all he desperately needs that 18 hours of beauty sleep every day. I’ll give him about ten minutes and he’ll be out cold for a few hours. If you haven’t figured things out just yet, he’s also retired.
‘A big fat lazy cat.’
I hear people waking up in the house and if I know my better-half there’ll be quiche in my future within the hour. More hot coffee, some crispy bacon and if I’m sneaky enough I might snatch one of the last two chocolate éclairs leftover from last night. Who says life isn’t awesome some times.
Today will include a visit to see the grandkids and possibly some shopping. I hope the weather clears a little so I can get a few good shots of the group.
On any given day I’m never sure what’ll happen around here but today even surprised me a little. I was minding my own business and enjoying my life until I found a corpse in my driveway. I make it a point to be aware of what goes on around my residence by checking things regularly every day. I was able to determine the time of death based on my last patrol of the property and let me tell you that corpse was fresh.
With my investigative background it took only a quick glance to determine that this death was not accidental. . . . it appeared to be murder. I could plainly see the blunt force trauma to the head and several deep puncture marks along the side of the body. It wasn’t pretty.
‘Deadly head trauma to be sure.’
I closely searched the surrounding area looking for obvious clues but found nothing. This investigation really couldn’t be all that thorough because I no longer have access to the appropriate forensic equipment except for latex gloves and a big, old magnifying glass I found in a drawer.
In recent weeks there’ve been reports of suspicious behavior by a gang of delinquents (coyotes) roaming around the neighborhood after dark and wreaking havoc throughout the area. It’s resulted in the loss of a number of household pets and those guys are persons of interest.
‘He never had a prayer.’
There was no way to identify the body so we’ll just call him Mickey Doe. He had brown hair and a large unruly mustache. I was able to get a couple of photos of the body but they added very little to the investigation. As you can see this will be a difficult case to solve and I expect it will go cold rather quickly.
‘Some serious bite marks.’
My main suspect lives across the street and is often seen skulking around looking for trouble. He had motive and opportunity because I saw him just before finding the body as he was high-tailing it home to hide under the porch.
As of this report the case remains open. I was forced to remove the body from the driveway and reverently picked it up by the tail and tossed it into the woods. We have no refrigeration facilities here to store corpses.
Another sad and merciless loss of life here in Maine.
With Summer slowly fading away our daily routine changes once again. The nights have been cold enough recently to require a little help from my electric blanket. I rolled over the other morning and found my cat snuggling up against me, something he almost never does unless his fur coat isn’t getting the job done. I touched his back and it was ice cold so I threw a blanket over the little dummy and went back to sleep. Another real indicator of Winter like caterpillars with extra thick fur.
I’m forever raving about how great I think Maine is but I’ve never shown any photographs of it’s main export. While I’m not a lobster lover my better-half is. We had a family cook-out yesterday with all the normal grilling food, burgers, dogs, sausages, and as extra added bonus . . . lobsters. As you can see these poor fellows look pretty contented in the first photo but not so much in the second. They are now just a memory but left my better-half, her daughter, and son-in-law with dribbles of melted butter on their chins and a smile on their faces.
‘Before’
‘After”
Our menial tasks continued this week with the canning of more pickles, the making of more zucchini bread, and the drying of more herbs. Over the next few days I’ll be harvesting and drying batches of tarragon, basil, parsley, and chives. I have so many damn chives growing everywhere it’s getting ridiculous. If I dry too many I’ll just have to package them up and give them to friends and family members.
I hope to begin removing plants from the garden next week. I have a lot of work ahead but would like to get it done as soon as possible. Once the plants are removed I can begin making a few changes to the garden. I’m expanding the rhubarb area because it’s growing so fast I can’t contain it. I’m also adding on two additional frames, one abutting each large frame, to help expand the sunflower areas. We both love having as many sunflowers as possible in the garden and the birds will be thrilled with all of the extra food. I thought it best to do this construction now rather than in the Spring.
I feel like I’m in a rut of late which means this posting may ramble a bit. I seem to spend most of my time these days doing yard work, gardening, fighting with my computers, exercising, and reading endlessly. I’ve complained for decades that I never seemed to have enough time to read as much as I’d like and now I do. I should know by now to be careful what I wish for.
I set a goal for 2015 to read two books a week. I thought that was an unreachable number but something still worth shooting for. Believe it or not I’m ahead of schedule for the first seven months with a total of fifty-eight books read. I must have been out of my ever-loving mind. Since we decided to eliminate cable TV from our lives my reading time has increased ten fold. I’m making Amazon really happy because my purchases of Kindle books has also increased dramatically.
My better-half agreed to work a special two week schedule for Lowe’s requiring her to wake up at 3:00 am and to return home at 2:30 pm. Of course that also means she’s asleep by 7:30 pm giving us approximately five hours a day together. Just what I didn’t need was more free time to read.
I still love reading but OMFG. This home has become a flop house for a cat who sleeps eighteen hours a day and for me who reads almost that much.
With the fiasco of Windows 10 making me crazier than usual and frustrating me beyond belief I immediately fell back to reading as a way to clear my head of all things “computer”. I never thought I’d see the day when I’d say something like this but I have no choice . . . Microsoft sucks!
Things have gotten so bad of late that I’ve actually considered going back to school just to have something to do. For someone who absolutely hated every school he’s ever attended, that quite the admission.
I’ve even thought about going back to a daily posting of this blog but decided against it. I’d rather start a new blog entirely to take a more critical look at current events and politics from my unusual and sarcastic perspective. I’m feeling a little meaner these days and with Obama on his way out the politicians of all parties have once again become fair game. It’s what our military would describe as a target rich environment.
It’s a gray day once again after having a few days of bright sunshine. The better-half is at work and the cat and I are doing as little as possible. Over the last few days I’ve been spending time familiarizing myself with Netflix. It was a little cumbersome at first but it didn’t take long to get the hang of it. I was told by a long time Netflix user the danger of “binge watching” and I thought she was kidding. She wasn’t! I now can see just how that can happen because its happening to me already.
As I’ve posted in the recent past, I’m preparing to finally disconnect myself from cable TV once and for all. I’m sick of the continuously rising costs and the hundreds of channels of garbage programming I’m forced to pay for.
I’m making the most of this Netflix free trial for the next month and the more I use it the better I’m liking it. I’ll be signing up for HULU Plus and their free trial next week to checkout the the TV shows they offer. If I’m satisfied with HULU I’ll be terminating my Dish cable service early in August. It’s been a long time coming and I can’t wait.
I think I’ll be doing a little shopping tomorrow at Best Buy. I need one additional ROKU device to adapt my last TV to video streaming. The costs for these devices are minuscule compared to the amount I’ll be saving each month. I just love having extra money in my pocket instead of theirs.
I should have no problem getting through the winter months this year with lots of books to read, a huge selection of TV programming, and more movies than I could ever watch.
It’s time for me to return to my desktop computer, my laptop, iPad, smart phone, and TV because I can now video stream on all of them. I’m deep into the storyline of the series, Marco Polo, with five episodes remaining. Then I can begin watching episodes of an old TV series, The Finder, one of my all-time favorites. It’s back and I’ve got it.
Add to that a bottle of good Sangria, a bag of tortilla chips, and a quart of my salsa and I’m in heaven. I’ll also be saving $645.00 in the first year that will pay for my annual car insurance, a year’s supply of cat food, and the occasional bottle of brandy. It can’t get much better than that.
My last posting concerned our short but successful foray with strawberry picking. Even though we only managed to pick three quarts before the rains came, we still considered it a moderate success. It also succeeded in motivating my better-half into a jam making frenzy yesterday. It required another trip to the food store for additional strawberries, blue berries, and black berries with rhubarb harvested from our garden as well. As you can see in this photo the rhubarb plants are out of control and trying desperately to take over the garden.
She worked diligently for five hours and the results were impressive. She made one batch each of strawberry, strawberry rhubarb, and blueberry jam. She also completed two additional batches of tripleberry which has become a favorite of everyone (blackberry-blueberry-strawberry) who has tasted it.
Of course I did my best to taste them all as they were being made, bobbing and weaving to avoid those painful hand slaps. They were all over-the-top delicious and I can’t wait to add the strawberry/rhubarb jam to my breakfast menu.
While she was completing the jam I was in another area of the house preparing to bottle my first experimental batch of wine for 2015. My goal was to make a wine unique to Maine and one never made by anyone else. I thoroughly searched the net but could find no references to this type of mead. It was made from raw maple syrup and fresh honey.
The final product was a clear and sweet mead with a faint bouquet of maple. It was a good first effort and with some fine tuning of the recipe I may make it again soon. I bottled three and a half gallons into various size bottles and kept one for myself. I always volunteer to be first to sample anything containing alcohol before giving it to others.
After two glasses I felt that special glow I’m always looking for. Testing with my vinometer indicates an alcohol content between 7-8%, more than I anticipated. All in all a really successful experiment.
The batch was corked and capped and will go into storage for a few months and then be tasted again. Most wine improves with age and I look forward to an older version of this mead to enjoy through the winter months.
![Boredom-feature-007[1]](https://everyuselessthing.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/boredom-feature-0071.jpg)
![boredom1[2]](https://everyuselessthing.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/boredom12.jpg)
![bored[1]](https://everyuselessthing.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/bored1.jpg)
everyuselessthing.com 