Archive for the ‘fantasies’ Tag

10/21/2021 50 Things I Love   Leave a comment

A few weeks ago I supplied you with a list of fifty things that annoyed me. That was a modified list of The 100 Things I Hate from eleven years ago. Now I’m going to do the same thing to The list of 100 Things I Love. After closely reviewing my old list I was able to eliminate half of the items. It wasn’t an easy job and I have a feeling I’ll be taken to task for some of things I eliminated by friends and family alike. So be it. Here’s my revised list of the Fifty Things I Love, but be warned all of you nitpicker’s out there. This new list can be updated without notice and you might just be eliminated the next time around. Here they are . . .

licking the hairs at the base of a woman’s spine, kids laughing, people watching, sex in the morning, small breasts, reading anything, being naked in the morning, real coffee, lucy my cat, the ocean, getting oil massages, watching your lips on me, honesty, medium-sized breasts, skinny-dipping, truth, large breasts, girl watching, pretty feet, computer games, my better half, , orgasms anytime, huge breasts, BJ’s at night, masturbation-alone or with a friend, being naked in the afternoon, old friends, making out in the back seat of a car, all animals, sloppy tongue-sucking kisses, snow, BJ’s in the morning, movies that make you cry, making you laugh, juicy fantasies, growing herbs, mom and dad, sculpting, painting, history, reading your tarot cards, creating anything, jacuzzies, deck time, blogging, writing, winemaking, grandchildren.

As a courtesy I’ll add this formal apology to all those people who were removed from the list as well as a number of things that were originally listed that I can no longer perform. No wise cracks please. You know who you are and so do I.

WHO LOVES YOU BABY?

09/22/2021 Are Women in Denial?   2 comments

Every guy loves ogling women. It’s been that way forever and I don’t see it changing anytime soon. Women always claim to dislike being stared at but do they really mean it? I’ve had them try to tell me that they wear makeup, sexy lingerie, and revealing clothing just to look good for other women, not for men. Not a chance that’s true. They want to be stared at, whistled at, and ogled just as much as the men enjoy doing it. It’s that famous dance that the sexes do in this age-old mating ritual. If you look good your choices of acceptable mates increases exponentially.

Over the course of my life I’ve had many relationships. I’ve watched women try to walk that fine line with some difficulty. If you get too revealing you look like a slut. While many guys say they wouldn’t mind that, they’re in the minority. If you dress down too much you won’t attract those potential mating partners. So as a public service I’m going to supply you with my relationship tips and advice for women. Hold your applause until you’ve read them all.

Rule 1 – Look good but not too good. Just slutty enough to make his mouth water and to make his fantasies more interesting.

Rule 2 – Be flirty but not too dirty or off color. Just a hint of “bad girl’ is usually enough to drive most men over the edge.

Rule 3 – Drink enough but don’t get sloppy drunk. No one wants to have the woman they’re going to have sex with throwing up on them. Don’t laugh, it happens!

Rule 4 – Lay off the bad language except for during sex. Be coy at first and then turn into that bedroom slut he’s been hoping for.

Rule 5 – You may be more sexually experienced that he is so don’t show off. Save some of your better moves for later when he’ll think he motivated you to do them.

I can already hear you ladies out there mumbling under your breath about my opinions. Take a deep breath and relax, I’m just trying to help, that’s all. Who would know better about what men want than a man.

I’ve always been partial to women who look good but not too good. I’ve always fantasized about a woman who wears her long hair in a bun and only lets it fall as she’s walking towards the bed (in a non-slutty way) to have her way with me. It’s an old Victorian fantasy of mine where I spend a great deal of time peeling off layers of clothing, petticoats, bustles, and slips. After all that work she finally lets down her hair and I’m on my way. It still gives me shivers after all these years just thinking about it. Let me calm down for just a second while I recuperate.

Okay, I’m much better now but I did get a little flushed there for a moment. Lets get back to the topic. I’ve had dealings with a few women in my life and they fallen into any number of different categories. Beautiful, not so beautiful, and all points in between. Each one was a totally different experience, some good and some really bad. They can try and deny their innate desire to attract men but down deep in their hearts they know it’s the truth. They want a good man in a good relationship with kids, a dog, and a white picket fence. After all of that they also need and want to be the biggest slut they can be in the bedroom.

SURPRISE LADIES . . . . THATS WHAT WE WANT TOO.

06-06-2013   13 comments

I’d like to welcome you to the planet Mars, since I’m told that’s where men are from.  This must be Mars and I’ll tell you why.  As part of my never ending search for information to assist me in understanding the female animal I stumbled into the incredibly confusing world of women’s sexual fantasies.  To say I was surprised at what I found would be an understatement.  It seems that  almost everyone has their opinions of what those fantasies are and aren’t shy about putting them out there. 

I’m going to show you two top ten lists that claim to have the inside scoop on what women fantasize about.  Both I suspect were written by men and they seem a little too good to be true.  Here’s list number one:

1.  Private Dancer (Striptease)

2.  Exhibitionism

3.  Force Fantasies

4.  Voyeurism

5.  Threesome With Two Men

6.  Threesome With Another Woman

7.  Sex With A Stranger

8.  Teacher/Student (Spanking)

9.  Domination (You Dominating Her)

10.Domination (Her Dominating You)

Now you understand why I thought I was on Mars.  These sound all too familiar to what a list of men’s fantasies would be. I’ve dated a lot of women over the years and been involved in a few serious relationships but never was I made privy to the things on this list.  I’ll admit I was made aware of a few of these items but no single women ever claimed ownership of them all.  Some of those women were borderline crazy (in a good way) but at best they only rang the bell on six of these items.  Now lets look at the second list.

1.  Oh my virgin ears  (Rape Fantasy)

2.  Strap me on, I’m going in (Strap-on Penis)

3.  Three-way w/Two Men.

4.  Leave a Good Tip (Stripper)

5.  I taw, I taw a putty tat (Sex w/woman and a Man Watching)

6.  Being Sexually Dominated

7.  Lay Me Out on Display (Exhibitionism)

8.  Who’s Your Daddy? (Domination of a Man)

9.  The More the Merrier (Group Sex)

10.Sex With a Stranger

This is very similar to the first list but in a slightly different order of importance.  I’d like any of you women out there to confirm for me that this is even close to the truth.  I’ve  hoped and prayed that I’d find a women with a list like this my whole life.  If most women feel this way then I may have just discovered  how little I really knew for all these years.  I could become clinically depressed and be forced into therapy if this is all true. Finding out that most women had better fantasies than I did would be devastating.

I’m going to stop writing now because I can feel the depression coming on.

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