Archive for the ‘kisses’ Tag
Since yesterday’s posting was all about people and how and when they lost their virginities, I thought today I would do a short but interesting look at the history of “kissing”. It was always among my favorite things and the older I got the higher up my list of favorite things it went.
- I guess we should start with the Garden of Eden and Adam. Scripture says that God breathed the “spirit of life” into him and it might explain why many religious ceremonies include kissing.
- A Canadian anthropologist demonstrated that 97% of women shut their eyes during a kiss but only 37% of men did.
- As with many things it seems the Romans got involved with kissing early on. A husband returning from work would kiss his wife on the lips to see if she’d been drinking during the day. The Romans had three different types of kisses: abasium, the kiss on the lips; osculum, a friendly kiss on the cheek, anduavium, the full mouth and tongue. Emperor Tiberius once banned the practice of kissing after an epidemic of lip sores.
- Kissing at one point was frowned upon because it had been used as a sign of betrayal by Judas Iscariot. He identified Jesus to his enemies in the garden of Gethsemane by kissing him.
- Kissing under the mistletoe is an English tradition and started with the kissing bough, which had mistletoe at its center. When the Christmas tree replaced the kissing bough, the mistletoe was salvaged.
- How and where you kiss used to be a sign of where you stood in the social pecking order. Equals kissed each other on the cheek. The lower you ranked to another person, the lower you had to kiss him. Thus, a slave would kiss his masters’ feet, and a prisoner not even allowed to do that. They were forced to kiss the ground near the foot.
- Alice Johnson, a 23-year-old American waitress, won a car in Santa Fe, New Mexico, after kissing it for 32 hours and 20 minutes in a 1994 competition. She loosened four teeth in the process.
- An American insurance company discovered that men were less likely to have a car accident on their way to work if they were kissed before they set off.
- In Sicily, members of the Mafia have stopped kissing each other because the way they kiss was a dead giveaway to the police, and mobsters were getting arrested.
- The first film kiss was in, appropriately enough, the 1896 movie The Kiss. The participants were John C. Rice and Mae Erwin.
- My last entry will give all of you a reason to kiss a little more often. Kissing can prevent illnesses. When you absorb other people’s saliva, you also receive their enzymes, which gives you their immunities like a kind of antibiotic. Unfortunately kissing can also pass on diseases too.
“YOU MUST REMEMBER THIS; A KISS IS JUST A KISS.”
Dooley Wilson in Casablanca
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A few weeks ago I supplied you with a list of fifty things that annoyed me. That was a modified list of The 100 Things I Hate from eleven years ago. Now I’m going to do the same thing to The list of 100 Things I Love. After closely reviewing my old list I was able to eliminate half of the items. It wasn’t an easy job and I have a feeling I’ll be taken to task for some of things I eliminated by friends and family alike. So be it. Here’s my revised list of the Fifty Things I Love, but be warned all of you nitpicker’s out there. This new list can be updated without notice and you might just be eliminated the next time around. Here they are . . .
licking the hairs at the base of a woman’s spine, kids laughing, people watching, sex in the morning, small breasts, reading anything, being naked in the morning, real coffee, lucy my cat, the ocean, getting oil massages, watching your lips on me, honesty, medium-sized breasts, skinny-dipping, truth, large breasts, girl watching, pretty feet, computer games, my better half, , orgasms anytime, huge breasts, BJ’s at night, masturbation-alone or with a friend, being naked in the afternoon, old friends, making out in the back seat of a car, all animals, sloppy tongue-sucking kisses, snow, BJ’s in the morning, movies that make you cry, making you laugh, juicy fantasies, growing herbs, mom and dad, sculpting, painting, history, reading your tarot cards, creating anything, jacuzzies, deck time, blogging, writing, winemaking, grandchildren.
As a courtesy I’ll add this formal apology to all those people who were removed from the list as well as a number of things that were originally listed that I can no longer perform. No wise cracks please. You know who you are and so do I.
WHO LOVES YOU BABY?
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It’s been a long week and I’m a little sick of thinking or talking about politics, younger generations, and the pandemic. I’m on overload with more news about masks and all of the assorted BS that goes along with that. I think it’s time for another installment of Totally Useless Trivia. The following items came into my files over the last few years and I love saving them for these not-so-special occasions. Let’s get started.
As an adult human being you have more than 20 square feet of skin on your body about the same square footage as a blanket for a queen-size bed. How creepy is that?
We Americans eat approximately 100 acres of pizza each day, or 350 slices per second. Yet for some reason we still don’t seem to understand why obesity is running rampant through the country. Are we really that stupid?
An estimated 800,000 senior citizens voluntarily give up their driving privileges each year. The average age at which they surrender the wheel is 85.
All of the clocks in the movie “Pulp Fiction” read 04:20. Rent the movie and check it out.
Americans appear to have the most sex at 132 times a year, with the Russians close behind at 122 times a year. Hard to believe the the French are only at 121. Let it be known that I’m officially volunteering to verify these numbers.
A portion of the water you drink every day has already been drunk by someone else, maybe several times over. This I didn’t really need to know, Ewwwwwwww!
About 1.7 liters of saliva is produced each day in an average person. You can’t have those long sloppy wet kisses without it.
A healthy individual releases 3.5 oz of gas in a single flatulent emission, or about 17 oz in a day. Wonderful, just freaking wonderful.
A kiss stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation. Women seem to like it light and frequent while men like it more strenuous. I think it’s really 30 muscles if you get my drift. LOL
Condoms will last about a month when stored in a wallet; any longer and its more likely to break. Wish I would have known this back in high school. I carried one for three years.
A Georgia company will mix your loved one’s ashes with cement and drop it into the ocean to form an artificial Reef. It must be “Greenie” heaven.
35 billion emails are sent each day throughout the world. Who cares, it’s mostly SPAM anyway.
61,000 people are airborne over the US at any given time. From a former white-knuckle flier, “better them than me.”
3,400,000 Americans are considered “Extreme Commuters”. These are people who commute over 90 minutes round trip every day to work. Anyone who’s ever lived in a major metro area can verify this one. Route 128 in Boston was my home for years.
That should curb your craving for stupid and useless information for another week or so. When you start going into withdrawal, drop me an email and I’ll fix you right up.
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