Since my recent post of off-color limericks was so popular I thought I’d offer up a few more cute but nonetheless dirty jokes. I guess I should have figured out by now that I’ve got to “give the people what they want.” A few dirty jokes to help you continue the celebration of this important holiday.
Q. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
A. When his hand caught on fire.
A woman answers the door to a market researcher. “Good morning, madam, I’m doing some research for Vaseline. Do you use it at all in your household?” “Oh yes, all the time. It’s very good for cuts, scrapes, and burns.” “Do you use it for anything else?” “Like what”, she asked. “Ahem. . well, during. . ahem. . sex.” “Oh, of course. Yes, I smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep my husband out.
Men are like parking spots: The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.
A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. They have sex for hours, and afterward while they’re just lying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation (she is speaking in a cheery voice). “Hello? Oh, hi, I’m so glad you called. Really? Thanks. Okay. Bye.” She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, “Who was that?” Oh,” she replies, “that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he’s having on his fishing trip with you.”
Q. What’s better than a rose on your piano?
A. Tulips on your organ.
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