As you can imagine, I am continually on the lookout for anything humorous. Sometimes I get lucky and find a gold mine and other times I find myself severely disappointed. Recently I was out surfing sites for anything I could find, and I stumbled upon a book of 1001 one-liners, short jokes, and puns. I admit a preference for bawdy humor, but I thought I’d take a chance, and I bought this book. I’ll withhold my opinions, and you can decide whether I got taken or not.
- I used to think an ocean of soda existed, but it was just a Fanta sea.
- I like to drink my brandy neat but sometimes I take my tie off and leave my shirt out.
- I must’ve eaten too much salmon. I just ran up an escalator that was coming down.
- A sandwich walked into a bar. The bartender said, “Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”
- My girlfriend told me she’s leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
- I heard a rumor that they were giving away horse manure at a local fair, so I went down there to check it out. It was bullshit.
- I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn’t cure it but during the night he keeps the sheets off my legs.
- Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.
- A man entered a local newspapers pun contest. He sent in 10 different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did.
There you have ten questionable jokes. I really believe I got taken on this purchase.
Here’s one of the few that I actually enjoyed:
I just saw a large singer with a laptop. It was a Dell.
everyuselessthing.com 