Archive for the ‘rated g’ Tag

05/09/2022 For Music Lovers   Leave a comment

Now that Mother’s Day has come and gone, let’s look into something a bit more musical. Everyone seems to love music of one sort or another, so why don’t we all try to enjoy some music related limericks.


A small hairy dog from Pirbright

Would sit at the organ all night.

And in his shrewd way,

He kept burglars at bay,

For his Bach was much worse than his bite.


Tchaikovsky composed his “Swan Lake”,

With his grand reputation at stake,

So, he wasn’t too fond

Of its nickname “Duck Pond”,

He considered that name a mistake.


There is a musician named Long

Who’s composed a new popular song.

I’m convinced it’s the croon

Of a lovesick baboon,

With occasional thumps on a gong.


There was a composer named Liszt

Whose music was hard to resist.

When he swept the keyboard,

Not a listener was bored,

And now that he’s gone, he is mizst.



04/24/2022 More Kids’ Limericks   Leave a comment

Most of you readers enjoy the limericks I post but even more seem to enjoy the limericks created by kids. Here are a few more selections for your amusement.

Violet McDonald – Age 11

Thr wnce ws a grl fr, SX

Who cdnt stp usin hr txt:

She ws gtin a bor,

I cud nt take no mor,

So I fd hr phn 2my dg Rx


Celia McMaster – Age 12

A hungry old goat name Heather

Was tied up with an old piece of leather.

In a minute or two

She had chewed it right through,

And that was end of her tether!


David McDermott – Age 13

There is a young boxer named Walter,

Who comes from the island of Malta.

One day in the ring

He stepped on a spring,

And bounced all the way to Gibraltar.


Brian Bell – Age 5

My brother’s name is Keith.

He hates to clean his teeth.

His dirty face

Is a real disgrace,

But he’s lovely underneath!


04/11/2022 More Kid Limericks   Leave a comment

As everyone is probably aware, I absolutely love limericks. I will present a few today but for those of you of German heritage and anyone who can speak German, this first one is for you. I have to admit that Germany is not known for its limericks but here is one in German with a translation. I think if the translation is accurate (and I’m not sure it is), it’s one of the worst limericks ever written. If anyone out there can translate it properly, please do, and sent me the corrected version by email to

Ein dicklicher mann in Peru

Der traumte mal von einer kuh;

Und alse r erwacht

Da ha ter gelacht:

Seine frau stand am bett und macht


A plumpish chap in Peru

Was dreaming about a cow.

When he awoke,

He couldn’t help laughing,

His wife was standing at the bedside saying “Moo!”


Now that that silliness is over let’s get on with a couple of limericks written by children. After previous posting of kids’ limericks, I received a number of requests for more. Here are a couple.

By Raymond Coleman (Age 11)

There was a young lad called Davy

Who hated the food in the Navy.

He couldn’t have beef

In case his false teeth

Would drop out and fall in the gravy.


By Amanda Chew (Age 13)

There was a math teacher named Rundle

Who tied up his books in a bundle.

It’s too heavy he feels,

So put it on wheels,

Now Rundle can trundle his bundle!



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