Archive for the ‘urination’ Tag
EVERY USELESS THING UNIVERSITY
Class is now in session, so please take your seats, pay close attention, and prepare to become a little smarter. Our lessons for today are as follows:
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Lesson #7 – Why Does Alcohol Cause People to Urinate?
The reason why people urinate so frequently while drinking alcohol is because it is a diuretic i.e., a drug that increases the amount of urine produced by the kidneys. Caffeine, too, is a diuretic.
Alcohols diuretic effect works by preventing the blood regulation function of vasopressin, and antidiuretic hormone that acts on the kidneys, compelling them to concentrate urine by increasing the resorption of water. Decrease in vasopressin therefore reduces the amount of water reabsorbed by the kidneys, resulting in the production of larger amounts of urine. This diuretic effect draws water from the body and causes a person to urinate more fluid than they imbibe.
The diuretic effect (or diuresis) is caused not by the volume of liquid drunk but by the alcohol content of the drink itself. A shot of spirits will generally cause a person to generate as much urine as they would if they drink a pint of beer.
Now you know the reason for the consistently long lines at restrooms during sporting events. The next time your at a party and you hear the phrase “I could piss like a race horse”, get out of the way and let that person pass. You certainly don’t want any back splash on your shoes.
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Lesson #8 – Why Does the Penis Shrink When It’s Cold?
In cold weather or water, a man’s penis will often retract and reduce considerably in size. This phenomenon sometimes referred to as “shrinkage”, and it occurs for a number of reasons, primarily that of temperature regulation. The testicles are contained in the scrotum and suspended away from the body, owing to the fact that sperm can be produced only when conditions are slightly cooler than the core temperature of the body. The temperature range in which sperm can be produced is very narrow, varying by only a couple of degrees, and when the environment gets too cold the scrotum retracts, drawing the testicles closer to the body to increase the temperature. As the penis is attached to the scrotum, this retraction pulls up the penis along with it.
A sufficient steep drop in temperature will also prompt the body to reduce the amount of blood circulating to the extremities and appendages, and concentrate blood flow in the core of the body in order to check the vital organs. As the size of the penis is affected greatly by the amount of blood that it receives, when a drop in temperature causes a reduction in the amount of blood reaches it, the penis shrivels and decreases in size.
Penis can also reduce in size when a man is startled or frighten, again because the body retracts the scrotum to the body for maximum protection, following the penis and with it.
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Now all of you ladies out there have the inside scoop. You should no longer take it personally if a man fails to respond to your many charms since he’s either cold, wet, startled or even frightened. If he is none of those things then you have a serious problem that can only be solved by kicking him to the curb and moving on.
CLASS DISMISSED
Today is a very special day here at Every Useless Thing. I’m officially opening the doors to the E.U.T. University of totally useless knowledge. You’ll learn through our detailed courses of study many of the things that have puzzled mankind for centuries. We have the answers but only you permanent students will be permitted to share that information with us. I know it’s a great honor and you should consider yourself very fortunate.
Todays lessons concern two things which are generally known to us but the true facts aren’t readily available. Thanks to EUTU you are about to be properly informed.
Lesson #1 – How did the word "shit” originate?
It’s been claimed by some that the word ‘shit” originated in the 16th century, when manure was transported by ship. The dry manure weighed little and was stowed below deck. When mixed with water, however, it gained in weight and began to ferment, producing methane gas, which, when exposed to a naked flame, would ignite, causing explosions and fire. Because of these accidents, crates of manure were labeled “Ship High In Transit’ to indicate that the crates were to be stowed above the deck, so that any water that the ship took on would not come into contact with them.
Unfortunately, this explanation is totally false and we here at EUTU through years of detailed research have discovered the real truth. Take good notes on this lesson because this “shit’” information will be included on your first POoP quiz.
The word “shit” is from the middle English word “shitten”, which in turn derived from the old English word “scitan”, from “besciten”, which meant “to be covered with excrement” and is in turn thought to originate from the Indo-European root “skei”. The word “shite”, meanwhile, is a variant form of the word as found in some dialects in Ireland and Scotland, as well as in colloquial English.
There you have the truth of the matter.
Lesson #2 – Why do men often shiver after urinating?
I’m not entirely sure our women students will be all that interested in this phenomenon but since it is an official part of the curriculum and will most certainly be included in future tests please pay close attention ladies.
After a man has finished urinating, it’s common for him to experience a shiver over his entire body. It is technically called post-micturition convulsion syndrome, and scientists are not exactly sure why it occurs. One theory is that urination results in heat loss after the warm urine has been expelled from the body, or through exposing the penis to the air, causing the body to shiver.
Meanwhile another theory suggests that the urination reflex is relayed through the autonomic nervous system, which is responsible for both contracting the urethra to hold in the urine and relaxing it to allow the urine to flow out. Also, as urine is released there is often a change in blood pressure, which might also explain the shivering. Shivering is most common in men and some actually find the experience pleasurable or even mildly erotic.
I can verify these statements because I’ve been experiencing that “shiver” myself for decades. I only pass that information along to you students because I’m a responsible educator with a passion for the truth.
That’s the final lesson for today. Break into study groups and ”bone up” on this important information. It seems that if two or more students can study together the results are much more satisfying.
CLASS DISMISSED
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