08-24-2013   Leave a comment

I spend a lot of my time watching and listening to people.  It’s my most favorite of activities to be sure.  I’ve recently began to see unusual patterns occurring in others which trouble me a great deal. It seems we as a people are loosing the ability to insult others with tact or sarcasm.  I know, I was as stunned as you are.  What is this country coming to if we lose that important ability.  That’s one of the losses we suffer from too much political correctness.

"Your mother wears combat boots." was a good way for me to get my ass kicked in grade school.  It was almost as bad as "Your mother dresses you funny." or "If my dog looked like your mother, I’d shave his ass and make him walk backward."  Mother insults were always a good way to insult someone and be absolutely sure to get the proper reaction. 

These days you can’t even call someone a liar, you must say “he’s diligently avoiding the truth”.  That’s pussy talk in my opinion. Give me the good old days when someone wasn’t "educationally challenged" he was a moron or a dumb ass. It is said that the WW II generation was the greatest and I completely agree. They knew how to deliver an good insult that was polite, sarcastic, and devastating.  No pussy talk for those guys or gals.  Here are some classic insults by famous people of that era.  Enjoy.

  • “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill
  • “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” – Clarence Darrow
  • “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx
  • “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain
  • “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde
  • “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
  • “Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.” – Winston Churchill’s response to George Bernard Shaw
  • “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West
  • “Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!” – Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
  • “Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!” – Winston Churchill’s response to Lady Astor
  • "There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure." – Jack E. Leonard
  • "He has Van Gogh’s ear for music." – Billy Wilder
  • “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
  • "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." – Winston Churchill

Three of my all time favorites, Mae West, Mark Twain, and Winston Churchill. They just don’t make them like that anymore and it’s a damn shame (In my humble opinion).

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