Archive for the ‘political correctness’ Tag

09/13/2021 Become a Stupidity Spotter   Leave a comment

My blog is called everyuselessthing for a reason. Two of the many useless things I like to address on a regular basis are stupidity and political correctness. Whether it’s politicians, celebrities, or your normal run-of-the-mill idiots, stupidity is found everywhere. While I do get quite a tingle shedding light on many of these folks I think it’s only fair that I pass along to each of you the skills needed to identify them from a distance. So read on people and get educated. Here’s a clarifying definition.

Stupidity is a quality or state of being stupid, or an act or idea that exhibits properties of being stupid. According to the online Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word’s stupid and stupidity entered the English language in 1541. Since then, stupidity has taken place along with “fool”, “idiot”, “dumb”, “moron”, and related concepts as a pejorative appellation for human misdeeds, whether purposeful or accidental. Read on . . .

The Fundamental Laws of Human Stupidity

  • Always and inevitably each of us underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation.
  • The probability that a given person is stupid is independent of any other characteristic possessed by that person.
  • A person is stupid if they cause damage to another person or group of people without experiencing personal gain, or even worse causing damage to themselves in the process.
  • Non-stupid people always underestimate the harmful potential of stupid people; they constantly forget that at any time anywhere, and in any circumstance, dealing with or associating themselves with stupid individuals invariably constitutes a costly error.
  • A stupid person is the most dangerous type of person there is.

Now that you have these basic laws of human stupidity you are well on your way to becoming an expert “idiot and moron” spotter. What better way to protect your family than being able to spot the fools before they can infect innocent passers-by with the “stupidity virus”. One pandemic is more than enough for us to handle these days. The following definition is just another clue you can use to find these idiots and morons. They almost always suffer from this affliction (PC) as well.

Political Correctness (adjectivally, objectively, politically correct; both forms commonly abbreviated to PC) is a term which denotes language, ideas, policies, and behavior seen as seeking to minimize social and institutional offense in occupational, gender, racial, cultural, sexual context, and doing so to an excessive extent. In current usage, the term is primarily pejorative, while the term “politically correct” has been used as an implicitly positive self-description.

BEWARE MY FRIENDS . . . STAY ALERT . . . THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE

09/02/2021 Acidman’s Approach to Education   Leave a comment

If you read this blog at all you know how much I detest political correctness. I come by that honestly due in part to a man who assisted me in setting up my first blog many years ago. His ideas and writings on political correctness are exactly the same as mine. He is what you might call my “blog father” and his name was Rob “Acidman” Smith. Unfortunately for us all he passed away on June 26th 2006. He’s been missed by me and many others and his blog remains online, maintained by his family. It will always hold a place of honor on my Favorites List. I visit him there on a regular basis to read his old postings because they’re still as pertinent to the discussion today as they were back then. If you’re interested, his blog is called gutrumbles.com, check it out. You are missed Rob.

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As you are well aware there are many bright people in this world who see the dangers of political correctness and the ongoing damage that it’s causing within the society. It’s become so ingrained in our society that it’s now the norm rather than the exception. My main question, can it be reversed? Seems to me correcting political correctness will be a long-term and difficult process. As anyone can see it’s taken a few decades to drag us down to this level and very well may take a few more decades to correct it.

It seems to me that the fault belongs primarily with academia. Public education systems in this country are being run by a liberally biased group of academics whose whole purpose is to brainwash each upcoming generation to embrace political correctness and to revile those who don’t. The amount of power wielded by the teachers unions across the country has made it virtually impossible to root out these individuals and to reclaim control over our education system.

There you have it folks, responsibility for correcting political correctness is once again in the hands of the parents. I think it’s time that PTA groups across this country become better organized so they’re able to rein in the administrators and not rubber-stamp every stupid and ignorant idea being shoved down their throats by school committees. Lazy parents concede control over school subject matter and then blame everyone but themselves for the results. Stand up, be heard, and take back control of your children’s schools. I’m all for turning the kids into productive citizens and not just people who worship social causes, the environment, and poo poo personal responsibility.

GOOD EFFING LUCK

08/24/2021 A New American Tradition   Leave a comment

In the past I’ve written a few things on cursing and swearing. As I’ve often said, “proper cursing is a true art form”, but not really properly acknowledged or appreciated by the mainstream academics. It is the cherry on top of the English language sundae. Everyone knows that a sundae is so much tastier with the addition of a bright red cherry on top. That’s how I see cursing.

A few weeks ago as my better-half and I were spending some quality time at Walmart, I spotted two young gentlemen in their early teens in the Book Department. Young man #1 reached over and grabbed the book from young man #2, and stated “give me that focking book” (the actual word has been purposely misspelled to protect what few innocent ears are left). Young man #2 not to be outdone immediately replied, “it’s my book you focking asshole”. They argued back and forth for a while, dropped the book on the bench, and sped off to find their parents.

I started cursing and f-bombing at a young age too because that was how people in my neighborhood and family spoke. I came by cursing honestly and made a point of refining it as best I could. I’ve always been an overachiever and this was just another challenge to overcome. Listening to those two kids tells me that f-bombing and cursing is alive and well in focking Maine.

I’ve always found the word “fock” an amazing and versatile tool. It can be used as either a verb, adverb, adjective, imperative, interjection, or a noun.

“I got focked by a scam artist”, “My computer is focked.”, “You’re a fock or a focker”. A fock may be an act of sex or just a person who is an ass. The verb, to fock, may be used transitively or intransitive. It can be compounded as “Fock off“, “Fock you“, “Fock up“, and “Don’t fock with me”. A phrase such as “Don’t give a fock.”, makes the word an equivalent of damn. If something is very abnormal or annoying, “This is focked up.” may be used.

I think the word fock should be adopted by all Americans and used in the same fashion as aloha and shalom are used in Hawaii and Israel. It can mean just about anything we want and we should make it our official greeting and our official farewell. When foreign dignitaries and tourists arrive on our shores we should give them a peck on the cheek and a big “Fock you and welcome to America”. When they leave give them a pat on the ass and tell him to “Get the fock out”. They all think we’re a bunch of mouth-breathers anyway, so what’s the harm.

Being the ultimate diplomat was never my intent but I’m willing to step up and do what needs to be done. I’ll be more than happy to testify before any focking Congressional committees and attempt to convince them as focking Americans we need this immediately. Maybe they’ll focking listen but I don’t hold much hope for that. I’d probably just be wasting my focking breath.

HAVE A NICE FOCKING DAY FOLKS

09-16-2016 Journal – Look Out! X-mas is Coming.   Leave a comment

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Another week coming to an end and we’re already halfway through the month of September. The summer of 2016 went by in the wink of an eye and the holidays are again rushing towards us. I wonder to myself which retailer will strike the Christmas colors first. I suspect that as in years past Walmart will be the one to get things rolling 15 minutes after the Halloween holiday is over. That in itself is supremely depressing but it seems to get earlier and earlier every year regardless of how much we complain.

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Yesterday I received this list of companies that have already made it known that Black Friday will begin for them by being open for business on Thanksgiving Day. I guess that’s the new approach to companies who put their employees families second on their list of priorities. That seems to be the ongoing retail way of thinking these days and unfortunately I can bitch about it all I want but no one in the retail establishment gives a damn what I think or what you think. Look at the upside . . . you’ll have a great place to spend your holiday if you get sick of eating Thanksgiving dinner, spending time with your family, or God forbid actually relaxing and enjoying the day. The almighty buck rules all. Make sure to thank these folks:

J.C. Penny

Kohl’s

Toy’s r Us

Target

Walmart

Sears

Macy’s

Belk

Sports Authority

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Dollar General

Best Buy

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While I write this posting I have a Christmas wish that will never be fulfilled. I wish that the population of the millions of so-called consumers in this country would pull their collective heads out of the sand and stop allowing retailers to continue to think that the “great unwashed” are that easily controlled. It’s a lazy population that lets celebrities, the media, politicians, and big business tell them how to think, act, what to buy, and how to be politically correct at all times.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO US ALL

You usually get what you deserve.

05-18-2016 Journal– 2016 Political Rant #2!   Leave a comment

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I awoke this morning and once again my body is achy and sore. We had such a beautiful day yesterday that I once again over-did the yard work and totally exhausted myself. I should know better by now but the warm weather and sunshine just kind of sweep me away and make me stupid.

Today will be one of my favorite kind of days which means I probably won’t do much of anything. I may run a few errands and work on some design sketches but nothing too serious. It’s going to be warm again which translates to some quality time for me and the cat to lounge around on the deck and listen to music or to just to read a good book (and yes, my cat can read).

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I spent some time this morning on the Net trying to keep up with the political situation as it develops but it took no more than just a few minutes for that the bore me to death. I haven’t decided on any specific candidate but I have eliminated a few. I’ve had my fill of the collection of political families who’ve been dominating the scene for far too long. I think the country and the people deserve some fresh faces in the political arena which means no more Bushes and no more Clintons. Let’s just let them fade into history like the Kennedys. Enough is enough. 

I’m still on the fence about Trump but I’m leaning his way for a number of reasons. His fresh and sometimes outrageous outlook on the country’s situation agrees with my own on a lot of points. If you read this blog you already know how much I hate political correctness and what it’s done to this nation. We need to break away in a new direction and I think Trump can supply that. Will he be perfect? I seriously doubt it. Will you be better off with Bernie, I think not . . . he an effing socialist. He’s willing to turn this country into a sad imitation of what Europe has become. That would be a very dangerous direction for the country to take . . . even more worrisome than Trump to be sure.

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I’ll be catching up later on the news of the day from the Net because listening to the television and radio media is not worth my time. They’re more interested in forwarding their political agendas rather than reporting the truth factually. The way in which they’ve been manipulated by the Obama administration is shameful and harmful to the nation. It’s the job of the press to point out inconsistencies in how an administration governs and  to investigate illegalities as they occur. In my opinion one of the worst things that ever happened in this country in recent decades was the purchase of the media by large business corporations. That was the beginning of the end for truth in media and the beginning of using the media by those corporations to forward their political agendas.

This country was established with the media as a watchdog for the citizenry to monitor and report on the politicians both good and bad. That has long since disappeared. When one part of our well oiled democratic machine ceases to work properly the entire machine suffers and eventually ceases to work at all. Welcome to the 21st-century here in America.

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Well, I’m off to the deck with the cat and my Kindle for an hour of relaxation before I begin running my errands. That should be just enough time to get this short discussion about politics out of my head completely and to rebury my head in the proverbial sand.  I can’t continuously think about politics or I would go insane. A good suspicion of politicians, politics, and government  is what is badly needed to keep this country running properly.

I’M DOING MY PART – ARE YOU?

10-12-2014. Planned Parenthood – The New PETA!   Leave a comment

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I was having a pretty good week all things considered.  I survived a birthday party with a gang of 2-6 year olds, got out of attending a wedding I didn’t want to attend, and built a new book shelf for my man-cave.  I had a solid eight hours of sleep and was feeling at peace with the world.  As everyone knows life always manages to balance the scales whether you like it or not.  If you have a lot of good going on you just know at some point  not so good will soon follow.  Thank you so much Planned Parenthood of Northern New England.

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You could say it was a feeling like "a cold shower" or having "someone peeing in your corn flakes" but it was a letter of BS and propaganda from those poor abused folks responsible for all of the initiatives to force religious employers to foot the bill for female employee contraceptives.

Here’s the first thing that caught my eye.

"It is unbelievable. Anti-choice extremists are taking away our rights – and the United States Supreme Court is helping them do it."

I guess anyone who disagrees with them on a matter of "Choice" of any kind must be an extremist.   The first thing you need to know, I am not religious in any way shape or form and I never defend religion and never will.  I will defend their right to disagree with the idiots at Planned Parenthood.  I find it ridiculous and offensive to have a heavily taxpayer funded organization whining about their problems.  Any business owner has the right (or used to) to run their company the way they saw fit.  Any good businessman will tell you the last thing they need is government funded interference.  The US government is a joke when it comes to running anything.  Unfortunately during one of their many bouts of the "politically correct flu" they decided to fund some liberal organizations like Planned Parenthood.

Their next point was this:

"The US Supreme Court decisions are alarming and disheartening. Here at Planned Parenthood of Northern New England, we believe women should get to choose which birth control method they want to use. Not her employer."

I actually found myself agreeing with part of that statement. Women should have the right to chose their method of contraception. I just don’t feel that the taxpayers or their employers should be footing the bill.  If you can’t afford contraception try abstaining for a while or let your boyfriend, husband or partner stop at a CVS and pick up some condoms.  There are millions of Americans that feel exactly the same way I do about it.

Here’s a scan of the actual letter.  I blocked out my name and address because those liberals are well known for their vicious hate mail campaigns. I truly dislike organizations that send me junk mail that my tax dollars are paying for. 

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So in closing here’s my message to Planned Parenthood.  Take me off your mailing list until such time your no longer leeching from the taxpayers ($300,000,000.00 at last count).  Then you might have a little credibility in your arguments. Oh yeah, stop misstating the facts and resorting to name calling. You’re starting to sound a little like those desperate folks over at PETA.

05-02-2014 Political Correctness–The Death of America   Leave a comment

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I was cleaning out some old boxes of papers a few days ago attempting to rid my home of old junk and a host of bad memories.  These boxes contained books, papers, and other assorted BS from one of the worst employment experiences of my life.  It was two years of hell on earth for me and went a long way to making me the confirmed cynical SOB I’ve become.  Even after all the time that’s past it still pisses me off as much as ever.

Most people don’t like to name names when talking about their past bad experiences but I have no qualms at all.  Some of you’ve never heard of the Hechinger Corporation and I’m happy to let you know that it no longer exists. It was a small family run hardware business that grew into many hundreds of stores across the country.  The company’s  philosophy, as directed by the Hechinger family,  seemed to be more interested in liberal causes and making political contributions  than actually making money or being successful.

I then worked for a big-box home improvement company called HQ (Home Quarters Warehouse).  It was a small, dynamic, and a fun place to work.  It was expanding slowly and steadily across the US and everything was coming up roses.  That was until the failing Hechinger company made a hostile stock buyout in an attempt to keep their company afloat. Instead of absorbing everything good from HQ and eliminating the bad from their own company they decided to go the PC route. That decision was the beginning of the end for both HQ and Hechinger. Hechinger began attempting to change the way in which HQ did their business, eliminated many of HQ’s talented upper level management members which began the slow and painful process of killing a vibrant and successful company.  At the same time they acquired Builder’s Square Company and proceeded to destroy them as well.

I’m getting off my main point which is this.  Political Correctness has always been in my cross-hairs since the day I started blogging. Experiencing it first-hand is not fun and not something I’d wish on my worst enemy (well maybe on my worst enemy).  It’s a dangerous tool when used by people who care more about being PC than caring about people. I was one of the unlucky few who survived the slaughter and the Hechinger brainwashing machine kicked in almost immediately.  I was forced to attend a steady stream of team building seminars, personality testing,  and spent hundreds of hours  getting my head filled with their liberal PC BS.

For over a year they attempted to change my approach to my job and how I did business. I wasn’t about to change because I’d been very successful for years at what I did and they had not.  They kept the pressure on me with all of their PC crap until I simply lost it.  While getting my first annual evaluation from my new bosses, I stood up from the table, told them I thought they didn’t know what the hell they were doing, and begged them to just fire me.  Being the PC idiot’s that they were, they spent the next hour trying to convince me that I should calm down and relax.  I ranted and raved for most of that time and again begged them to fire me.  They wouldn’t do it and abruptly ended the session. 

I think they felt they could save my non-PC soul,  convert me to their way of thinking, and lead me to the promised land.  The next day I was given a better than average evaluation, a decent raise, and sent on my way.  Any good businessman will tell you that if an employee begs you to fire them and you have just cause, JUST DO IT.

Anyway that’s why I continuously bitch and complain about PC issues.  If the minor issues are ignored by intelligent thinking people more will follow.

“All that is necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.”  Edmund Burke (1729-1797)

So as I’m delivering these books and papers to the trash what falls at my feet but a book I hoped never to see again.  “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Steven Covey.  He was god almighty to the Hechinger Company and they beat me over the head for more than a year with his books.  If I never hear the term “paradigm” again it will be too damn soon.

YOU’VE BEEN WARNED Once AGAIN

01-03-2014 Political Correctness Alive and Well in 2014   2 comments

I decided to brave the cold this morning just to get out of the house for a few minutes.  Everything was fine until I made that one fatal mistake.  I turned on a local Maine radio station and within two minutes my blood pressure was soaring.  There was a young lady being interviewed who sounded like she might have been twenty-one years old.  She was a “Journalist” and I use the term loosely.  She was going to explain to all of us in the audience about the eight million senior citizens in this country who are “food challenged”.  That supposedly means they don’t have the proper food with the proper vitamins and minerals to maintain a healthy life style.  She was also concerned with seniors living in northern Maine in agricultural areas she termed “food deserts”.

Please someone just take a gun and shoot me, please!!!  I understand now why at a certain point the very elderly get tired of living.  To be in your eighties and to have been force fed political correct crap for 40 years can send you over the edge. What boggles my mind is that everyone you talk to hates political correctness.  Many of those same people must be either disingenuous or big, fat liars.  If everyone hates it so much why is it thriving in this country?

The following list of quotations are from both celebrities and intellectuals.  I realize that the people who fawn over celebrities are more likely to be some of the  “politically correct weasels” who say they hate it it but really don’t.  Many of these quotes are for them.

“Don’t ever call me mad, Mycroft. I’m not mad. I’m just … well, differently moraled, that’s all.”Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair

A lot of people are bored of all the political correctness.” – Clint Eastwood

“The greatest enemy of clear language is insincerity.”  ― George Orwell

I got a feeling about political correctness. I hate it. It causes us to lie silently instead of saying what we think.Hal Holbrook

“You’re not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more,” said Yo-less. “It’s speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons.” – ― Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Bomb

I believe that political correctness can be a form of linguistic fascism, and it sends shivers down the spine of my generation who went to war against fascism.P. D. James

“As societies grow decadent, the language grows decadent, too. Words are used to disguise, not to illuminate, action: you liberate a city by destroying it. Words are to confuse, so that at election time people will solemnly vote against their own interests.”Gore Vidal

Whether it’s people walking off ‘The View’ when Bill O’Reilly makes a statement about radical Islam or Juan Williams being fired for expressing his opinion, over-reaching political correctness is chipping away at the fundamental American freedoms of speech and expression. –  Eric Cantor

“I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won’t even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them ‘parts-dropping-off challenged’ or something.”Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff

“The problem is that it has become politically awkward to draw attention to absolutes of bad and good. In place of manners, we now have doctrines of political correctness, against which one offends at one’s peril: by means of a considerable circular logic, such offences mark you as reactionary and therefore a bad person. Therefore if you say people are bad, you are bad.”
Lynne Truss, Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door

Political correctness has become a straightjacket.Gary Oldman

“The old restriction meant that only the orthodox were allowed to discuss religion. Modern liberty means that nobody is allowed to discuss it. Good taste, the last and vilest of human superstitions, has succeeded in silencing us where all the rest have failed.”G.K. Chesterton, Heretics

When political correctness first started coming around, it ruined Andrew Dice Clay and Eddie Murphy’s stand-up career. Sam Kinison died at just the right time, ’cause no one was going to tolerate what he was saying anymore either.Artie Lange

The critical importance of honest journalism and a free flowing, respectful national conversation needs to be had in our country. But it is being buried as collateral damage in a war whose battles include political correctness and ideological orthodoxy.Juan Williams

I think you have to judge everything based on your personal taste. And if that means being critical, so be it. I hate political correctness. I absolutely loathe it.Simon Cowell

“Those who are most sensitive about “politically incorrect” terminology are not the average black ghetto-dweller, Asian immigrant, abused woman or disabled person, but a minority of activists, many of whom do not even belong to any “oppressed” group but come from privileged strata of society.”Theodore Kaczynski, Industrial Society and Its Future

“Can’t call ‘em zombies anymore,” sighed Manny. He seemed almost wistful. “Now we gotta be all politically correct. It’s like the Cold Wars never happened.”David S.E. Zapanta, Posthumous

In my opinion there’s nothing more to be said on the subject.  For all of you “politically correct weasels” out there . . . KMA.

12-12-2013 Political Correctness in Sports   4 comments

I’ve been fighting the good fight against political correctness for more years than I care to admit.  All in all it’s made no difference whatsoever.  It hasn’t changed my thinking in the least but I’m out numbered by people and government institutions that have more money and power than I.  They’ve made political correctness a permanent part of the American landscape and I’m not sure what it will take to get us back on track.  The only thing I’m absolutely sure is that I won’t be alive to see the change if it ever comes.

I’ll continue to fight the good fight and ridicule those politically correct fools whenever possible and use my sarcasm as a weapon against them.  With that in mind I present for your edification the following article.  It was sent to me by a long time friend in KC who is another warrior against political correctness.  It made me laugh and then after I thought about it some more I stopped laughing.  You sports fanatics will appreciate this.

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I agree with our Native American population—I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins.  One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as warriors, but nay nay….   We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.

Let’s ditch The Kansas City Chiefs, The Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians.  If your panties are in a bunch because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns as well.

The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of the militant Blacks from the 60’s alive.  Gone.  Offensive to us white folk.

The New York Yankees offend the Southern population.  Do you see a team named for the Confederacy?  No!  There is no room for any reference to that tragic war between the states that cost this country so many young men’s lives.  Besides, the South shall rise again!!

I’m also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our football team names.  Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.  The fact that there are birds on their shirts does not protect either the Arizona or the St. Louis Cardinals—gone!

Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged as their way of life.  We are talking the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!

Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children—and it is all about the children. The Green Bay Packers and the St. Louis Rams–promote gay men.  Wrong message to our children.

The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible spending habits.  Wrong message to our children.

The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity–a growing childhood epidemic.  Wrong message to our children.

The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates.  Drugs is definitely a wrong message to our children.

The Milwaukee Brewers—well, that goes without saying….   Wrong message to our children.

So, there you go.  We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should.  A high priority directly behind efficiently managing our country’s health care.

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We will soon be watching the Unicorns vs Kittens on Sunday afternoons.  GO UNICORNS, KICK THE HELL OUT OF THEM KITTENS!  Can I get an amen?

08-24-2013   Leave a comment

I spend a lot of my time watching and listening to people.  It’s my most favorite of activities to be sure.  I’ve recently began to see unusual patterns occurring in others which trouble me a great deal. It seems we as a people are loosing the ability to insult others with tact or sarcasm.  I know, I was as stunned as you are.  What is this country coming to if we lose that important ability.  That’s one of the losses we suffer from too much political correctness.

"Your mother wears combat boots." was a good way for me to get my ass kicked in grade school.  It was almost as bad as "Your mother dresses you funny." or "If my dog looked like your mother, I’d shave his ass and make him walk backward."  Mother insults were always a good way to insult someone and be absolutely sure to get the proper reaction. 

These days you can’t even call someone a liar, you must say “he’s diligently avoiding the truth”.  That’s pussy talk in my opinion. Give me the good old days when someone wasn’t "educationally challenged" he was a moron or a dumb ass. It is said that the WW II generation was the greatest and I completely agree. They knew how to deliver an good insult that was polite, sarcastic, and devastating.  No pussy talk for those guys or gals.  Here are some classic insults by famous people of that era.  Enjoy.

  • “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill
  • “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” – Clarence Darrow
  • “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx
  • “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain
  • “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde
  • “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
  • “Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.” – Winston Churchill’s response to George Bernard Shaw
  • “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West
  • “Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!” – Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
  • “Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!” – Winston Churchill’s response to Lady Astor
  • "There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure." – Jack E. Leonard
  • "He has Van Gogh’s ear for music." – Billy Wilder
  • “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
  • "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." – Winston Churchill

Three of my all time favorites, Mae West, Mark Twain, and Winston Churchill. They just don’t make them like that anymore and it’s a damn shame (In my humble opinion).

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