12-29-2013 New Year’s Resolutions for 2014   Leave a comment

It’s finally time for me to step up and put in writing the things I’m pledging to do at some time in 2014.  I tried to keep these resolutions as reasonable as possible so I at least have a chance to live up to them.  Here they are.

1.  Read five books a month.

2.  Teach the grandson  one curse word per month once he begins talking.

3.  Keep the number of F-bombs below 100 a week.

4.  Drink less brandy than last year but more than next year.

5.  Spend less than $300.00 at Dunkin Donut for the entire year ($25.00 per month).

6.  Stop dancing naked near the picture window in the living room. It scares the neighbors if their complaints mean anything at all.

7.  Fight to my last breath to keep chickens and goats from becoming part of my life.

I could have listed a few more but why set myself up for complete and utter failure.  I did that last year and I should be learning from my past mistakes, you’d think.

* * *

I tried to convince my better-half to give me her list for 2014 but I ran into a brick wall.  She appears to be a believer of never putting anything in writing regardless of who makes the request.  I even tried intimidating her a little.  I attempted to make her comply by threatening to post a few crazy resolutions and tell the world they came from her.  I won’t repeat her reply since I do try to keep this blog at a PG rating.  I admit she has a pretty effective way of intimidating me and that will also stay a deep and dark secret.

AHHHHH ANOTHER NEW YEAR HERE IN PARADISE.

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