12-30-2013 Humorous New Year’s Thoughts   2 comments

I thought today’s posting should reflect the thoughts and feelings of someone other than myself concerning the New Year and the accompanying celebrations. I’d normally throw in a few celebrity quotes about New Year’s but I’m not going to do that this year. I’ve learned over the years that the best common sense quotations are written by only one person, Anonymous.

The following collection of thoughts were collected from and written by  people who wish to remain anonymous. Being anonymous gives a person a certain amount of freedom to say what they really think and to be as sarcastic and humorous as necessary. This is the stuff I love and I think you will too.

Almost everything I could think of saying about New Year’s, the celebrations, and the big party in the Big Apple, are reflected in these anonymous thoughts. It never ceases to amaze me just how funny and insightful we humans can be.  See if you agree.

* * *

  • I do not make new year’s resolutions. The only thing I do in excess is be awesome, I’m not going to stop that in 2014.
  • I probably shouldn’t be making any new resolutions this year…mainly because I’m still working on the ones from last year.
  • Let’s kiss on New Year’s Eve 2013 as if we might have a future together in 2014.
  • Let’s resolve to repeat last year’s mistakes.
  • Here’s to ending the New Year still having a job that you still wish you didn’t have.
  • This year let’s resolve to make better bad decisions.
  • My New Year’s resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes.
  • I hope the world ends in 2014 so I can’t be held accountable for my New Year’s resolutions.
  • Thanks for inviting me to a New Year’s party I’ll have no recollection of attending.
  • My excuses for already failing my New Year’s resolution are more complicated than the fiscal cliff deal.
  • Let’s never speak of 2013 again.
  • May the New Year bring you significantly more joy than the holidays did.
  • My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
  • Let’s put significant pressure on ourselves to have a fun New Year’s Eve.
  • Let’s pencil each other in for a New Year’s Eve kiss, with the understanding we’ll drop each other if someone better comes along.
  • I resolve to stop having meaningless sex in 2014, so I suggest you pay me a compliment or get me liquored up ASAP.

  • My resolution is to spend more time avoiding friends and family.
  • I want to kiss you at midnight and pork you at dawn.
  • It may be the antidepressants talking, but I’m feeling somewhat optimistic about 2014.
  • Now that the holiday blues are over, let’s resume our everyday melancholy.
  • Here’s to drinking enough that we’ll need Ryan Seacrest to help us count backwards from ten.
  • Here’s to having a fresh start at binge eating, boozing, and slacking off.
  • Lets attend an opulent New Year’s Eve party so we can briefly ignore the horror of our impending poverty.
  • Wishing you even a minuscule percentage of the wealth and attention that has been showered upon the Kardashian fetus in 2013.
  • My resolution is to get healthier while still destroying myself with alcohol and drugs.
  • I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.
  • Gaining 20 lbs over the holidays makes your New Year’s resolution of losing 10 less impressive.
  • Let’s decide which champagne we’re going to barf.
  • I always thought by 2013 we would have flying cars. Instead, we have blankets with sleeves.
  • The only thing I gained from 2013 was weight.
  • Dear God, my prayer for 2014 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t mix these up like you did this year.
  • This year, I’m just making one New Year’s resolution: Stop making resolutions. My only other resolution is to quit breaking my resolutions.

* * *

I enjoyed more than a few chuckles reading through this list and I can’t think of a thing I’d want to add. I hope your New Year’s celebration remains somewhat sane and that you return safely home in one piece.  You wouldn’t want to start 2014 with any broken bones, wrecked vehicles, or DUI’s.

Everyuselessthing will return on 01-02-2014

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!!

Drink Responsibly

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2 responses to “12-30-2013 Humorous New Year’s Thoughts

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  1. My God you’ve fallen into such a New Years Stupor your repeating yourself!!!! I hope you sober up soon there’s more snow comming…Happy New Year!

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