03-03-2015 Journal–Single Mall Seniors!   2 comments


Today has turned into a throw away day. It started late last night when I got caught up reading another Jack Reacher adventure novel and before I knew it it was 3 am.  I crawled into bed finally and was just about asleep when my better-half’s alarm went off at 4 am.  I stumbled into the kitchen and poured myself a large mug of coffee but it barely helped at all. As I groggily passed my better-half in the hallway I kissed her on the forehead entered the bedroom and  fell into bed once again. I set my alarm for 830 am because I was sure my eye doctor would be patiently waiting for my arrival in his office at 930 am.

I fell asleep for a half hour and then was forced to get dressed and get moving. I left the house three times and returned within minutes each time.  It doesn’t sound like a big deal normally but since the installation of our security system it’s  become a real pain in the ass. I returned first when I forgot my camera and left again, then I returned once more when I forgot my Kindle and left again,  and lastly I returned because I forgot  to turn off the alarm on my beside clock. All that screwing around was making me a little crazy and the alarm system was talking to me the entire time and sending me emails for fifteen minutes. Oh, the price we pay for protection.

I arrived at the Mall of Maine with time to spare but since the stores don’t open until 10 am  I couldn’t do any window shopping. I was forced into the food court for a coffee and a little people watching.  I try never to go near malls but this trip became very educational very quickly.  As I sat drinking my coffee and killing a little time the herds of senior citizens began circling. A continuous stream of blue hairs with walkers, canes, and even wheelchairs went flowing by like a river of old farts. These people are the early morning mall rats who eventually will turn over custody of the mall to the teenage mall rats who like to sleep until early afternoon. Just two moderately interesting social groups with their own little routines and pecking orders.

It was a fashion experience I could have done without.  Walking outfits of bright colored spandex were everywhere and I have to say there’s nothing like a seventy-five year old pear shaped cutie in a pink fluorescent body suit strutting her stuff.  And believe me she had a lot of stuff to strut. The longer I sat there the more looks I was getting because I was a new face in the crowd.  Before I knew it two apparently single ladies plopped down at my table and offered to buy me a coffee refill.  Many people say that the girls of our younger generations are somewhat more aggressive than the young girls of the past.  I think that’s true to a degree but they have nothing on these single, spry, and sexually interested older women.  Man it was a just little scary since I haven’t been hit on like that for quite some time.

Fortunately I was able to sneak away after telling them I was late for my eye doctor appointment.  I heard a few "we’ll see you tomorrow’s" as I walked quickly away and made a  note to myself on my phone:  No more freaking morning mall visits.


2 responses to “03-03-2015 Journal–Single Mall Seniors!

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  1. Thanks for the smile.

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