04-06-2016 Journal – Cemetery Humor & Limericks!   Leave a comment

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I thought that since today is once again cold and sunny I should dig into my trivia library for some interesting facts  rather than going out to brave the weather. I might even find a few that aren’t so interesting but as always you can be the judge of that. These are items primarily related to cemeteries and funerals. I may be forced to throw in a few off-color limericks as well.  Let’s get started.

Here’s an entry I’m adding just for my beer drinking better-half.

  • A headstone in a cemetery at Saint Kilda, Victoria, Australia, depicts a hand holding a jug of beer. The headstone was the result of a threat often made by the widow to her thirsty husband.

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This item amazes me.  I can’t begin to understand the level of dedication this involves.

  • In Nara, Japan, a lantern in the tomb of a Buddhist priest, Kyobo Daishi, in the monastery of Koya San has been burning continuously for 1126 years.

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This one I can appreciate somewhat. The woman was truly dedicated to her profession, regardless of the consequences.

  • The epitaph of the late Shirley Pitts of London, England, dubbed the “Queen of Shoplifters” reads, “Gone Shopping”.

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Everyone loves a good “Love” story and here’s a beauty.

  • “Husband: I anxiously awaiting you, 1827.” “Wife: Here I am, 1867 – Gravestones in a Paris, France cemetery.

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Here are two entries concerning two stubborn fools.

  • “Here stands old Britt Bailey” – Epitaph to James Britton Bailey, who was buried standing up because he refused to look up to any man.
  • A tombstone in Weather Hill, New England, reads: “Here lies the body of Samuel Proctor, who lived and died without a doctor.”

Here are a few rather interesting approaches.

  • A tombstone in a cemetery in Medway, Massachusetts, reads, “Beneath this stone, this lump of clay, lies Uncle Peter Daniels, who too early in the month of May, took off his winter flannels.”
  • “Here lies the father of twenty-nine, He would have had more but he didn’t have time.” – Gravestone in Moultrie, Georgia.
  • A gravestone near Uniontown, Pennsylvania: “Her lies the body of Jonathon Blake, stepped on the gas instead of the brake.”
  • “Owen Moore Is gone away, Owen’ more than he could pay.” – Epitaph in Surrey, England.

And finally a proper send off for an attorney.

  • The tombstone of an attorney in Willwood cemetery, Rockford, Illinois: “Goembel, John E. 1867-1946: The defense rests.”

Now for a couple of art related limericks.

For a sculpture that’s really first class,

You need form, composition, and mass;

To do a good Venus,

Just leave off the penis,

And concentrate more on the ass!

 

A lascivious lecher, called Fletcher,

Was also a talented sketcher.

Of ladies (quite nude)

He invariably screwed,

But did they enjoy it? You betcha!

I think that’s enough silliness for today.  Look for more limericks in the future because I recently stumbled upon quite the collection, most from the British Isles. They have an excellent approach to raunchiness that I really admire.

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