04-08-2016 Journal–Who Doesn’t Love Shopping?   Leave a comment

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After yesterdays shopping trip with my better-half I’m sitting here this morning trying to figure out exactly what kind of positive benefits I might have reaped from it as well as any negatives.  The trip was relatively short compared to her usual shopping forays so I was forced to sit and read my Kindle at only three locations. Fortunately for me they were all in the Mall and out of the weather.

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The positives.

Positive #1 – I sat an hour or so in the Mall out of the rain and cold weather.

Positive #2 – I had a free hour of reading time.

Positive #3 – I made my better-half happy by accompanying her.

Positive #4 – I was out of the house.

Positive #5 – I was able to continue my detailed study of black leggings and the effect they have on me when worn by skinny, well built, chubby, and the occasional obese woman.

Positive #6 – The good feelings that are generated by all those black leggings on the really well-built women.

Positive #7 – We ate a really delicious luncheon meal at Uno’s and:

Positive #8 – Our well-built waitress was wearing black leggings (that were even better than any dessert).

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Now let’s move on to the negatives.

Negative #1 – I was forced to go out in the rain and cold weather to sit in an effing Mall.

Negative #2 – I wasted an hour of my precious time trying to read my Kindle in a crowded and annoying Mall.

Negative #3 – I remained silent and refused to voice my displeasure so not as to upset my better-half.

Negative #4 – I was taken to the Mall when my time could have been better spent at home with my X-Box.

Negative #5 – I was continuously distracted by a steady stream of women wearing black leggings.

Negative #6 – With all the hormones flying around because of the black leggings I was forced to remain seated the entire time (I hope you get my drift here).

Negative  #7 – Eating out requires that I pay for a meal that I could have made at home for a fraction of the cost.

Negative #8 – Our waitress was way too efficient making numerous trips to our table to distract me from conversations with my better-half (it was those damn black leggings she was wearing).

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Since the negatives cancelled out the positives I suppose you could say we had a reasonable day.  Not outstanding but not terrible either. If it wasn’t for my better-half and all of those black leggings it could have been much less enjoyable.  It’s amazing to me how our excellent relationship has developed over the years due to those thousands of little inconsequential compromises we make. Only one thing could have made our day better and close to absolute perfection.

MY BETTER-HALF NEEDS  TO BUY A FEW PAIRS OF BLACK LEGGINGS !!

Critical Disclaimer: Darling this entire post was written with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek. You’ll just have to compromise a bit for all of the sarcasm.

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