I feel like celebrating today due primarily to four consecutive days with no rain and being able to sleep at night without an electric blanket. It’s mid-June and winter keeps trying to hang on and I’m sick of it. Here are four moderately suggestive limericks I would rate at PG-13. Keep the kids away while you read them. Let’s get started.

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There once was a horny old witch
With a motorized dildo which
She would use with delight
All day and into the night
Twenty bucks at Abercrombie and Fitch.

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Nymphomaniacal Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And her ass-hole in Buckingham Palace

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There was a young woman of Croft
Who played with herself in a loft,
Having reasoned that candles
Would never cause scandals,
Besides which it never went soft.

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An agreeable young girl named Miss Doves
Likes to masturbate the men that she loves.
She’ll use her bare fist
If the fellows insist
But she really prefers to wear gloves.

🤪🤪🤪

C’MON SUMMER