I’m posting today from my living room on an old and somewhat unreliable laptop, It’s unreliable because it’s incredibly slow. My man-cave has been taken over by a gentleman who is spending this week removing our twenty year old heating sysytem and replacing it with a new and updated unit. Unfortunately for me that unit is in my man-cave and I was told to vacate the area by my better-half. So I hope to post this by the end of the day. Todays post contains three dirty jokes. Since we all need a little humor everyday it shouldn’t matter if they are a little corny and silly. These jokes were discovered in a book from an obscure on-line bookstore and were published in 1976. Lame and a little out of date but still humorous. Enjoy them . . .

So this elderly couple were sitting in their tiny cold water flat on the lower Easr Side when the husband said, “Doris we’re in bad shape, inflation has eaten up our Social Security check. The next one isnt due for a week and we’ve got no money for food.” “Could I do anything to help?” she asked.”Yes” he said. “I hate to see you do this but it’s the only way, You’re going to have to go out on the street and hustle.” “Me?” she said “At the age of sixty-five.?” “It’s the only way,” he said. Resigned to the situation she put on a short skirt and went out into the cold night. She came staggering in early the next morning and he asked, “How did you do?” “Here”, she said “I’ve got four dollars and ten cents.” “Four dollars and ten cents, who in the hell gave you the ten cents?” “Everybody.” she said.

This fellow rushed into a crowed tavern on Saturday night, Men and women stood three-deep at the bar. Our man, who felt nature calling strongly, lookd around but couldn’t see anyting emotely resembling a bathroom. He saw a stairway and bounded up the steps to the second floor in his increasingly desperate search. Just as his bowels theatened to erupt, he spotted a one-foot by one-foot hole in the floor. Now, at the end of his control, he decided to take advantagee of the hole. He dropped his pants, hunched over it, and did his thing. Thoroughly relieved and relaxed, he sauntered down the steps to find, that the bar that had been so crowded a few minutes ago, was now empty. “Hey!” he yelled to the seemingly empty room, “Where is everyone?” From behind the bar a voice responded, “Where were you when the shit hit the fan?”

Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor. Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He’d do pushup and somersaults to limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just laid around on their fat asses not doing a thing. One day, one of them became curious to ask Stanley why he exercised so much. Stanly said, “Look pal, only one sperm gets a woman pregnant and when the right time comes, I’m going to be that one.” A few days later they felt themselves getting hotter and hotter, it ws getting to be their time to go. They were released abuptedly and, sure enough, there was Stanley swimming far ahead of the others. All of a suddden, Stanley stopped, turned around, and began swimming back with all his might. “GO BACK! GO BACK!,” h screamed, “It’s a blow job.”