Archive for the ‘beer alert drink up’ Tag
I thought today I would do something a little different. As I’ve mentioned many times in posts I am not a lover of beer. While that remains true so does the fact that my better-half loves, adores, and worships at the closest beer tap. Over the years many of my friends and coworkers drank nothing but beer and to this day I’ll never understand why. This post is for all of you male beer drinkers out there and hopefully after reading this you may understand why many women have issues with men who love drinking beer. The following is a list of nineteen reasons why a man at times prefers beer rather than the company of a woman.
1. You can enjoy beer all month long.
2. You don’t have to wine and dine a beer
3. Beer will wait patiently for you in the car when you play sports
4. A frigid beer is still a good beer.
5. Beer is never late.
6. Beer hangovers go away eventually.
7. A beer doesn’t get jealous when you grab another beer.
8. Beer labels come off without a fight.
9. When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer.
10. Beer never has a headache.
- If you pour beer just right, you’ll always get good head.
- A beer won’t get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
- You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
- Beer always goes down easy.
- You can share a beer with your friends.
- You always know if you’re the first one to pop a beer.
- Beer is always wet.
- You don’t have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
- You can have a beer in public.
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SCREW BEER – PASS THE JACK!
DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!
(A Male Public Service Announcement)
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local bars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by a woman. Many females are using a date rape drug on the market called “Beer.” The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs. Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply asks him to come home with her for some no-strings attached sex.
Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this Beer scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you just look up “Golf Courses” in the phone book
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A man walks into a bar and says “G-g-gimme a b-b-beer. The bartender says, “Seems as though you’ve got a major stuttering problem.” The man replies, N-n-no k-k-kidding!” The bartender says, “I used to stutter, but my wife cured me. One afternoon she gave me oral sex three times in a row, and I haven’t stuttered since!” The man says, “W-w-wow, th-th-that’s great to kn-kn-know” A week later, the same man returns to the bar, and says, “G-g-gimme a b-b-beer.” The bartender says, “Why didn’t you do what I told you?” “I d-d-did try”, said the man. “It j-j-just d-d-didn’t w-w-work. But I m-m-must say, you have a r-r-really n-nice apartment.
AND TO MY BETTER-HALF AND ALL OF YOU OTHER BEER FANATICS
DRINK UP ! ! !
everyuselessthing.com 