Archive for the ‘bernard manning’ Tag

12/22/2022 “Christmas Humor”   Leave a comment

It’s important to maintain a sense of humor with all of the anticipated stresses of these holidays. Here are two quotes and a hilarious joke that will hopefully put a smile on your face. Enjoy . . .

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A guy decides to buy his new girlfriend a pair of gloves for Christmas. After all, they’ve only been dating for three weeks so it seems like the ideal gift – romantic, yet not too personal. He asks the girlfriend’s younger sister to accompany him to buy them then so she can point out a pair she’d like. They go to the mall and the sister points out a pair of white gloves which the guy then buys. The sister then picks up a pair of panties for herself and buys them. But during the wrapping, the clerk mixes up the parcels without anyone realizing. As a result, the sister gets the gloves, and the guy takes home a gift box containing the panties.

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“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”

Shirley Temple

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Without checking, the guy rushes the gift to his sweetheart, but only after drafting this loving and helpful note to accompany it: “I chose these because I notice you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair she’d been wearing for the last three weeks, and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.

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“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”

Bernard Manning

I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time. There’s no doubt that other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow in them before putting them away, as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for the coming Christmas Eve.

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.”

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WE ALL NEED A LAUGH – IT’S ABOUT TO GET CRAZY

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