Archive for the ‘definitions’ Tag

10-03-2013   Leave a comment

I’ve been accused by my better-half on more than one occasion that she knows what I’m thinking when I say certain words.  I refuse to repeat any of her examples because it’ll only make her think she’s right and then I’d never ever hear the end of it.  It did get me thinking about certain words and phrases I’ve been hearing for most of my life from female family members, girlfriends, and spouses.  I think this list may be used as a reference guide to help me in my future discussions (arguments) with my better-half concerning these matters.  I’m sure if I put my mind to it I could add another twenty of thirty items to this list but what’s the point.  For my male readers I’m sure you’ll recognize some of these golden oldies used by generations of women to confuse and misdirect us.  War is truly hell when it involves the sexes.  Arm yourselves with as much ammunition and information as you can.  You’ve been warned.

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FINE – This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut the hell up.

WHATEVER – This is the new favorite word women use to convey “screw you”or “up yours”.

FIVE MINUTES – This means half an hour.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? – This has no real meaning. They only say it every fifteen minutes to drive us effing crazy.

NOTHING – This is the calm before the storm. This actually means "Something," and you should stand with your back to the nearest wall.  ‘Nothing’ usually means Something and it’s Something bad for you.

GO AHEAD – This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it, trust me, DON’T DO IT.

FINE! -  Does not really mean fine at all.  It means “Fine, you rotten SOB” and you’ll be sorry for bringing it up.

LOUD SIGH – A sigh means she thinks you’re an idiot and a moron and wonders why she’s wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

THAT’S OKAY – This means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you’ll pay for your mistake.

THANKS – A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you’re welcome but make no direct eye contact.

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I hope this helps all of you men out there in your attempts to understand just what your woman or women are really saying.  It takes decades for us men to even scratch the surface of understanding women and I’m firmly convinced we never will.  We just have to keep trying.

09-21-2013   2 comments

For two years I spent a great deal of time learning the do’s and don’t’s of blogging on my  Anti-Stupidity Blog.  I was on a continuing rant against stupidity in all of it’s forms.  It made some people laugh and others scream at me in not a very nice way.  Although I retired that blog in favor of this one, the continuing growth of stupidity still bugs me.  There’s just so much of it to identify and talk about, it’s maddening.

Apparently it’s been the subject of discussion by thousands of philosophers, politicians, and so-called intellectuals for hundreds of years. I guess I shouldn’t let my frustrations about it get the best of me but unfortunately they do at times.  Let’s let a few of those experts spit out some of their own truths about stupidity.

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"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
-Anonymous

"Unless one pretends to be stupid and deaf, it is difficult to be a mother-in-law or father-in-law."
-Chinese proverb

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former."
-Albert Einstein

"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education."
-Bertrand Russell

"Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change."
-Confucius

"A stupid child is ruin to a father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain."
-The Bible: Hebrew, Proverbs 19:13

"Stupid is as stupid does."
-Forrest Gump

"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."
-Thomas Szasz

"There is no cure for stupid wives and willful children."
-Chinese proverb

"The only thing that ever consoles man for the stupid things he does is the praise he always gives himself for doing them."
-Oscar Wilde

"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
-George Bernard Shaw

"Between a fellow who is stupid and honest and one who is smart and crooked, I will take the first. I won’t get much out of him, but with that other guy I can’t keep what I’ve got."
-Gen Lewis B Hershey, Director, Selective Service System

"I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid."
-P.J. O’Rourke

"A clever wife often sleeps with a stupid husband."
-Chinese proverb

"Only in Britain could it be thought a defect to be ‘too clever by half.’ The probability is that too many people are too stupid by three-quarters."
-John Major

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Some of these quotes are priceless, some are humorous, but all seem true to me.  I also find it amazing just how on target so many of the ancient Chinese proverbs seem to be.  I guess they’ve had many more years to suffer from and define the hundreds of stupid idiosyncrasies of the human race.   Sometimes that’s not such a good thing. 

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