As most of you are aware I love using quotes to make an interesting point and they’re usually of a complimentary nature. Todays post will change that. These are quotes from recognizable people who don’t appear to be as happy about things as we all thought they were. I’m providing a selection of quotes concerning the Media and other related matters that might be considered somewhat negative. I live for the negative, how about you?
Newspapers
“The most truthful part of a newspaper is the advertisements.” Thomas Jefferson
“In the old days men had the rack. Now they have the press.” Oscar Wilde
“Newspapermen ask dumb questions. They look up at the sun and ask you if it’s shining.” Sonny Liston
“Looking at yourself through the media is like looking at one of those rippled mirrors in an amusement park.” Edmund Muskie
Publishers & Journalists
“Jack Anderson is the lowest form of human being to walk the earth. He’s a muckraker who lies, steals, and he’ll go lower than dog shit for a story.” J. Edgar Hoover
“Dorothy Kilgallen is the only woman I wouldn’t mind my wife catching me with. I don’t know why she took such umbrage at my comments on birth control, she’s such a living argument for it.” Johnny Carson
“If Hugh Hefner truly thinks that being spread-eagled is so fantastic, how come we haven’t seen his little wahoo with a staple in the middle?” CBS-TV
Television
“Acting on television is like being asked by the captain to entertain the passengers while the ship goes down.” Peter Ustinov
“Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.” Eric Sevaride
“I find television very educating. Every time someone turns on the set I go into the other room and read a book.” Groucho Marx
“TV is a medium, because it is neither rare nor well done.” Ernie Kovacs
Education
“Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.” Bob Dylan
“Our American professors like their literature clear and cold and pure and dead.” Sinclair Lewis
“The schools ain’t what they used to be and never was.” Will Rogers
❤️Anonymous (always the best)❤️
“Tabloids are fast reading for the slow thinkers.”
“The mission of the modern newspaper is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.”
Doctors bury mistakes. Lawyers hang them. But journalists put theirs on the front page.”
“Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults but for having faults different from theirs.”
“You can tell a Harvard man, but you can’t tell him much.”
In my experience secrets are almost never kept. I’ve been guilty of “loose lips” a few times and ended up regretting it. Paybacks for breaking someone’s confidence can be catastrophic as I can attest. Todays post will contain information about secrets from a number of sources. The first entry comes from a famous New York columnist:
WALTER WINCHELL
“I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.”
A FEW ANONYMOUS
“There are two kinds of secrets: one is not worth keeping, and the other is too good to keep.”
“There is a skeleton in every house.”
“He who tells a secret is another’s servant.”
“Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead.”
It seems that everyone on the planet has opinions on secrets and they love to call them proverbs.
FRENCH: “Nothing is so burdensome as a secret.”
YIDDISH: “After nine months the secret comes out.”
RUSSIAN: “Confide in a dumb man, and he will speak.”
SPANISH: “He who keeps his own secret avoids much mischief.”
LATIN: “Sooner would men hold fire in their mouths than keep a secret.”
And finally an old standby from the BIBLE:
ECCLESIASTES 10:20“Even in your thought, do not curse the king, nor in your bedchamber curse the rich; for a bird of the air will carry your voice, or some winged creature will tell the matter.”
TELL ME ALL YOUR SECRETS, I WON’T TELL ANYONE, I PROMISE
I’m a huge fan of using quotations in my posts from the rich, the famous, and the wannabe famous. I thought today would be a good day to give kudos to the one person who supplies us with endless quotations that are almost always funny, truthful, and many times sarcastic. That writer is Mr. Anonymous. I did a little research this morning and came up with 15 quotes from Mr. Anonymous that I really liked and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did. Here they are.
“Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults but for having faults different from ours.“
“The Eiffel Tower in Paris is the Empire State building after taxes.“
“One reassuring thing about modern art is that things can’t possibly be as bad as they are painted.“
“An average film is where the actor has more lines in his face than in his script.“
“Modern art is when you buy a picture to cover a hole in the wall and then decide the hole looks much better.“
“Dancing is the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.“
“Hollywood is Malice in Wonderland.“
“If white bread could sing it would sound like Olivia Newton John.“
“Television is a box that has changed children from an irresistible force into an immovable object.“
“Parents never appreciate a teacher unless it rains all weekend.“
MR. ANONYMOUS
“You can tell a Harvard man, but you can’t tell him much.“
“Psychology is the science that tells you what you already know in words you don’t understand.“
“Eating food with a knife and fork is like making love through an interpreter.“
“If you speak three languages your trilingual. If you can speak two languages you are bilingual. If you can only speak one language you’re an American.“
“A Hollywood marriage is one in which the couple vow to be faithful until after the honeymoon.“
And now I’ll offer up one of my own quotes:
“OLD AGE AND RETIREMENT ARE JUST KARMIC RETRIBUTION”
Do you consider yourself a truthful person? As a young person I thought I was always truthful but as I aged, I discovered just how wrong I was. There have been many times that I used exaggeration to make a point clearer and more interesting but in fact that is actually being somewhat untruthful. I think I can safely say that everyone at one time or another plays fast and loose with the truth for any number of reasons. Here is a collection of comments and quotations about the truth that make a great deal of sense.
“The trouble with stretching the truth is that it’s apt to snap back.” Anonymous
“Truth is such a rare thing; it is delightful to tell it.” Emily Dickinson
“The man who speaks the truth is always at ease.” Persian Proverb
“If you speak the truth have a foot in the stirrup.” Turkish Proverb
“Truth is the anvil which has worn out many a hammer.” Anonymous
“Everyone loves the truth, but not everyone tells it.” Yiddish Proverb
“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.” Winston Churchill
“Craft must have clothes, but truth lives to go naked.” Thomas Fuller
“Truth is heavy; few therefore can bear it.” Hebrew Proverb
“Seldom any splendid story is wholly true.” Anonymous
And finally, a quote from one of my favorite people: Mark Twain
“When in doubt, tell the truth.“
And here’s one of my own:
“Always tell the truth and do the right thing regardless of the consequences.”
I thought today I’d make a quick comment about some of the responses I received to my Inappropriate Humor dirty jokes post. For those of you out there that don’t read everything, that’s why I rated the post an “R”, and I put warnings in the graphics to keep it out of the hands of kids or the blind, dumb, and stupid non-readers. It never occurred to me that there were adults out there who would respond to humor like a bunch of babies. So, to all of you prudes out there, just get over it. If you don’t like what I post, stop reading the blog and go elsewhere. You won’t be missed.
This post is filled with pearls-of-wisdom posted at one time or another by that very famous writer and philosopher, Anonymous. Celebrities and politicians are forever looking for soundbites to get little attention, but Anonymous could care less about offending anyone. Here are fifteen quotes you may enjoy but if your one of the overly sensitive minorities I recommend you leave my blog now and go read the Bible . . . .
“Churches welcome all denominations, but most prefer fives and tens.“
“And an optimist is someone who thinks the future is uncertain.“
“There are few problems in life that wouldn’t be eased by the proper application of high explosives.“
“Physics lesson: When a body is submerged in water, the phone rings.“
“Is sex better than drugs? That depends on the pusher.“
“Until I get married, I was my own worst enemy.“
“Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.“
“There is nothing wrong with teenagers that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.“
“Christmas is Christ’s revenge for the crucifixion.“
I love people with a well-developed sense of humor, and I enjoy making people laugh. Since I now have a stand-up comic in the family, I pay even more than usual attention to on-line comics and what’s currently the rage. I have a number of comedians that I’ve been addicted to for years but unfortunately a few have passed on, but their comedy is alive and well and still makes me howl with laughter. I truly miss Sam Kinison and Ralphie May. Current comics Bill Burr, Brad Upton, and of course Sara Tiani are some of my USA favorites. Great Britain offers up Bob Mortimer, Jimmy Carr, Sarah Milliken, and Greg Davies, who are always laugh-out-loud funny. Yes, I love comedy so why wouldn’t I search out some humorous quotes from a few well-known stars.
“Ooooo. Ahhhhh. Get out!” Andrew Dice Clays impression of a one-night stand.
“My wife gives good headache.” Rodney Dangerfield
“Losing my virginity was a career move.” Madonna
“Sex after ninety is like shooting pool with a rope.” George Burns
“The main result of feminism has been the Dutch Treat.” Nora Ephron
“My plastic surgeon told me my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.” Phyllis Diller
*****
ANONYMOUS (Always LOL)
“Churches welcome all denominations but prefer fives and tens.”
“An optimist is someone who thinks the future is uncertain.”
“Truth is the safest lie.”
“When confronted with two evils, a man will always choose the prettier.”
“Is sex better than drugs? That depends on the pusher.”
“Love is blind, and marriage is a real eye-opener.”
If you’ve read this blog at all you know I consistently use famous quotations from famous people to help make a point. Over the years having all of those quotes available has made my life much easier. Not all quotes are complementary, and I found almost as many nasty and mean quotes as good ones. Here are some quotes that some people probably wish they hadn’t made. You be the judge…
“Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.” Bill Vaughn
“You have set up in New York Harbor a monstrous idol which you call Liberty. The only thing that remains to complete the monument is to put on its pedestal the inscription written by Dante on the gates of Hell: “All hope abandon, ye who enter here.” George Bernard Shaw
“St. Laurent has excellent taste. The more he copies me, the better taste he displays.” Coco Chanel
“Everyone wants to understand painting. Why don’t they try to understand the singing of the birds? People love the night, a flower, everything which surrounds them without trying to understand. But painting – that they must understand.” Pablo Picasso
“There are moments when art attains almost the dignity of manual labor.” Oscar Wilde
This next section concerns a prolific contributor to every subject imaginable: Anonymous. I truly enjoy these mean and nasty unidentified criticizers.
“Critics are the stupid who discuss the wise.”
“An architect is two percent gentleman and ninety-eight percent renegade car salesman.”
“The Eiffel Tower in Paris is the Empire State Building after taxes.”
“A modern artist is one who throws paint on a canvas, wipes it off with a cloth, and sells the cloth.”
“They couldn’t find the artist, so they hung the picture.”
“Poetry is living proof that rhyme doesn’t pay.”
“Dancing is the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.”
I’m a bit of a fanatic using quotes on many of my posts since I normally use them to further verify a point or opinion I’m trying to make. I’m a believer than even though many of the persons I quote are long dead, their opinions and thoughts are still valid. Human nature unfortunately doesn’t change all that much from one generation to another. Back in the day there were just as many annoying a-holes as there are today. The funny thing is they express their a-holeness in exactly the same way. This just further supports my use of them whenever I deem it necessary. Not all quotes are friendly and nice and there are just as many derogatory things said about damn near everyone as not. Let’s take a look at a few not so flattering quotes concerning men by a group of less than happy women.
“A man is a creature with two legs and eight arms.” Jayne Mansfield
“God created Adam. Then corrected her mistake.” Brooklyn Woman’s Bar Association
“Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.” Charlotte Whitton
“A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” Gloria Steinem
“I married beneath me. All women do.” Nancy Astor
“A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.” Anonymous
“The man is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.” Jilly Cooper, Cosmopolitan Magazine
“I require three things on the man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.” Dorothy Parker
“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.” Zsa Zsa Gabor
Yesterday I posted a list of sayings, and most were attributed to people who are or were once famous. The response to that posting was excellent leading me to try something a little different. Have you ever heard a friend or acquaintance say something that “stuck with you”, something funny or profound? Today’s list will be pearls of wisdom from the smartest person in the world, “Anonymous”. We never seem to realize just how smart that SOB can be.
A gossip tells things before you have a chance to tell them.
We expect our children to learn good table manners without ever seeing any.
The other night, while lying on the couch, I reviewed the high point of my life and fell asleep.
Imagination makes a man think he can run the business better than the boss.
He who peeps through a hole may see what will vex him.
Strange how much you’ve got to know before you know how little you know.
People are living longer now; they have too – who can afford to die?
Some people are easily entertained. All you have to do is sit down and listen to them.
Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices.
Marriage is a wonderful institution. If it weren’t for marriage, husbands and wives would have to fight with perfect strangers.
It’s another day in paradise here in Maine as I drag my butt out of bed this morning. Time to leap to my feet, put on my shorts, and go jogging for a few miles. If you believe that then there’s something really wrong. The only jogging I’ll do is with my car. I’ll be spending my time today sitting in front of this computer and working on my series of designs that have consumed me for a month.
Yes, I consider myself an artist even though a few others might dispute that. What others think has never really been something I concern myself with and I doubt I ever will. If you’re around long enough you learn early on that everyone is an effing critic. I love critics and on occasion I’m one myself. It’s the anonymous and cowardly ones that irritate me.
I’ve been reading a strange book of “Poisonous Quotations” and that anonymous guy sure has a lot to say in that tome. Here are a few samples of his anonymous work.
“Modern art is like trying to follow the plot in alphabet soup.”
“Modern art is when you buy a picture to cover a hole in the wall and then decide the hole looks better.”
“A modern artist is one who throws paint on a canvas, wipes it off with a cloth, and sells the cloth.”
“One reassuring thing about modern art is that things can’t possibly be as bad as they are painted.”
Those four quotation are cowardly since the authors were afraid to identify themselves. I don’t mind criticism if the individual will stand up in front of the artist and offer his opinions directly. Here are a few well known people who also have an apparent distaste for art but aren’t afraid to say so publicly.
“Abstract art is the product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.” Al Capp
‘One sees a square lady with three breasts and a guitar up her crotch.” Noel Coward
“Art is a jealous mistress.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Art is either plagiarism or revolution.” Paul Gauguin
“Art for art’s sake makes no more sense than gin for gin’s sake.” W. Somerset Maugham
“I’m glad the old masters are all dead, and I only wish they had died sooner.” Mark Twain
Lets hear from someone once very well known in the political world. Like any politician he takes forth-three words to say two . . . “It stinks.”
“I can truthfully say that the painter has observed the Ten Commandments. Because he hath not made to himself the likeness of anything in heaven above, or that which is on earth beneath, or that which is in the water under the earth.” Abraham Lincoln
And last but not least here is someone who answered his critics directly and clearly. My second favorite favorite artist of all time right behind Salvador Dali as seen above.
“Everyone wants to understand painting. Why don’t they try to understand the singing of the birds? People love the night, a flower, everything which surrounds them without trying to understand them. But painting – that they must understand.” Pablo Picasso
