Archive for the ‘anonymous’ Tag

06-17-2016 Journal– Art & Criticism!   Leave a comment

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It’s another day in paradise here in Maine as I drag my butt out of bed this morning. Time to leap to my feet, put on my shorts, and go jogging for a few miles.  If you believe that then there’s something really wrong.  The only jogging I’ll do is with my car. I’ll be spending my time today sitting in front of this computer and working on my series of designs that have consumed me for a month.

Yes, I consider myself an artist even though a few others might dispute that.  What others think has never really been something I concern myself with and I doubt I ever will.  If you’re around long enough you learn early on that everyone is an effing critic.  I love critics and on occasion I’m one myself.  It’s the anonymous and cowardly ones that irritate me.

I’ve been reading a strange book of “Poisonous Quotations” and that anonymous guy sure has a lot to say in that tome.  Here are a few samples of his anonymous work.

“Modern art is like trying to follow the plot in alphabet soup.”

“Modern art is when you buy a picture to cover a hole in the wall and then decide the hole looks better.”

“A modern artist is one who throws paint on a canvas, wipes it off with a cloth, and sells the cloth.”

“One reassuring thing about modern art is that things can’t possibly be as bad as they are painted.”

Those four quotation are cowardly since the authors were afraid to identify themselves.  I don’t mind criticism if the individual will stand up in front of the artist and offer his opinions directly.  Here are a few well known people who also have an apparent distaste for art but aren’t afraid to say so publicly. 

“Abstract art is the product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.”  Al Capp

‘One sees a square lady with three breasts and a guitar up her crotch.”  Noel Coward

“Art is a jealous mistress.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Art is either plagiarism or revolution.”  Paul Gauguin

“Art for art’s sake makes no more sense than gin for gin’s sake.” W. Somerset Maugham

“I’m glad the old masters are all dead, and I only wish they had died sooner.”  Mark Twain

Lets hear from someone once very well known in the political world. Like any politician he takes forth-three words to say two . . . “It stinks.”

“I can truthfully say that the painter has observed the Ten Commandments. Because he hath not made to himself the likeness of anything in heaven above, or that which is on earth beneath, or that which is in the water under the earth.”  Abraham Lincoln

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And last but not least here is someone who answered his critics directly and clearly. My second favorite favorite artist of all time right behind Salvador Dali as seen above.

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“Everyone wants to understand painting. Why don’t they try to understand the singing of the birds? People love the night, a flower, everything which surrounds them without trying to understand them. But painting – that they must understand.”  Pablo Picasso

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WELL STATED PABLO

01-10-2014 Silly and Stupid Day   Leave a comment

I’m declaring today as Silly Day. As I’m feeling right now I have no interest in anything important. I don’t want to discuss the problems of our society, questions about the universe or the reason why my legs and butt cheeks hurt when I get up in the morning. None of that is least bit important today.

I have quite the collection of quotes and sayings and adages for every occasion but today Silly and Stupid reign supreme. The following tidbits address just about anything you’d like to think about and do so in a silly and stupid way. These tidbits have been obtained from all sorts of strange and wonderful sources from TV shows, philosophers, and even a comedian or two.

We all need to laugh once in a while.  Enjoy!

  • Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.  – Rita Mae Brown
  • A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.  – Sir Winston Churchill
  • Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.  – Anonymous
  • Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you’re William Hurt. – Phil Dunphy of Modern Family
  • Duct tape is like the force.  It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.  – Carl Zwanzig
  • Home is heaven and orgies are vile but I like an orgy, once in a while. – Ogden Nash
  • A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.  – Jack Benny
  • I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.  – Fred Allen
  • Resolve is never stronger than in the morning after the night it was never weaker.  – From the movie Naked
  • Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.  – Colin Sautar
  • Who says nothing is impossible.  I’ve been doing nothing for years.  – Anonymous
  • A wise saying is something you keep picking up off the floor in front of your fridge.  – Robert Brault
  • I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.  – Anonymous
  • She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.  – Mae West
  • She was what we used to call a suicide blond – dyed by her own hand.  – Saul Bellow

  • After all, what is your host’s purpose in having a party?  Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they’d have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.  – P.J. O’Rourke
  • I have six locks on my door all in a row.  When I go out, I lock every other one.  I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.  – Elayne Boosler
  • If The Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me.  – Song title by Jimmy Buffet
  • Man was predestined to have free will.  – Hal Lee Luyah
  • Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.  – Aldous Huxley
  • Murphy was an optimist.  – O’Toole’s Commentary
  • The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.  – Bill Watterson

  • You can’t have everything… where would you put it?  – Steven Wright
  • He’s turned his life around.  He used to be depressed and miserable.  Now he’s miserable and depressed.  – Harry Kalas
  • I plan on living forever.  So far, so good.  – Anonymous
  • Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.  – Anonymous
  • Love your enemies.  It makes them so damned mad.  – P.D. East
  • As to the Seven Deadly Sins, I deplore Pride, Wrath, Lust, Envy and Greed.  Gluttony and Sloth I pretty much plan my day around.  – Robert Brault
  • I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants.  – Dave Beard
  • There’s no such thing as fun for the whole family.  – Jerry Seinfeld
  • And on the eighth day God said, “Okay, Murphy, you’re in charge!”  – Anonymous
  • When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.  – Anonymous
  • A great name for a new country song:  If I’d Shot You Sooner, I’d Be Out of Jail by Now.  – Anonymous

    • A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.  – Fred Allen
    • Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.  – H.L. Mencken
    • A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.  – Anonymous
    • A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn’t. – Anonymous
    • All generalizations are bad.  – R.H. Grenier
    • All my life, I always wanted to be somebody.  Now I see that I should have been more specific.  – Jane Wagner, The Search For Intelligent Life In The Universe
    • The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away.  – Tom Waits
    • Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.  – Attributed to both Jason Hutchison and John Benfield

Did I lie? Silly and Stupid. I just felt like lightening matters up today because if I take a peek into the real world it depresses the hell out of me. Politics sickens me and listening to drug company commercials and the constant stream of advertisements on every bit of media almost every second of every day of every year for the rest of my effing life makes me want to scream out loud.

The weekend is coming, so let this steaming pile of minutia get you in the right frame of mind.

09-21-2013   2 comments

For two years I spent a great deal of time learning the do’s and don’t’s of blogging on my  Anti-Stupidity Blog.  I was on a continuing rant against stupidity in all of it’s forms.  It made some people laugh and others scream at me in not a very nice way.  Although I retired that blog in favor of this one, the continuing growth of stupidity still bugs me.  There’s just so much of it to identify and talk about, it’s maddening.

Apparently it’s been the subject of discussion by thousands of philosophers, politicians, and so-called intellectuals for hundreds of years. I guess I shouldn’t let my frustrations about it get the best of me but unfortunately they do at times.  Let’s let a few of those experts spit out some of their own truths about stupidity.

* * *

"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
-Anonymous

"Unless one pretends to be stupid and deaf, it is difficult to be a mother-in-law or father-in-law."
-Chinese proverb

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former."
-Albert Einstein

"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education."
-Bertrand Russell

"Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change."
-Confucius

"A stupid child is ruin to a father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain."
-The Bible: Hebrew, Proverbs 19:13

"Stupid is as stupid does."
-Forrest Gump

"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."
-Thomas Szasz

"There is no cure for stupid wives and willful children."
-Chinese proverb

"The only thing that ever consoles man for the stupid things he does is the praise he always gives himself for doing them."
-Oscar Wilde

"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
-George Bernard Shaw

"Between a fellow who is stupid and honest and one who is smart and crooked, I will take the first. I won’t get much out of him, but with that other guy I can’t keep what I’ve got."
-Gen Lewis B Hershey, Director, Selective Service System

"I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid."
-P.J. O’Rourke

"A clever wife often sleeps with a stupid husband."
-Chinese proverb

"Only in Britain could it be thought a defect to be ‘too clever by half.’ The probability is that too many people are too stupid by three-quarters."
-John Major

* * *

Some of these quotes are priceless, some are humorous, but all seem true to me.  I also find it amazing just how on target so many of the ancient Chinese proverbs seem to be.  I guess they’ve had many more years to suffer from and define the hundreds of stupid idiosyncrasies of the human race.   Sometimes that’s not such a good thing. 

07-05-2013   2 comments

On a regular basis I use quotations to help me explain my opinions on things in a way easy to understand and most times humorous.  These quotations can be from famous celebrities, educated teachers, and even the occasional  politician who might have something interesting to say.  The majority of the persons quoted are deceased which must make them much smarter than when alive.  I can’t explain that but it seems to be true.

Comics  like Mae West, George Carlin, and Richard Pryor were funny as hell before they died and for some reason many of their quotes are even funnier now.  Maybe it’s just the person who’s doing the repeating of those quotes. The most under appreciated author of thousands of quotes and humorous thoughts is almost never properly recognized for his/her efforts in keeping us smiling and laughing.  That person goes by two aliases, Unknown and Anonymous.  Most of the truly profound quotes by this person are repeated often by many people in their everyday conversations and have been for years.  Here’s an example of  three:

  • Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
    Anonymous
  • There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.
    Unknown
  • Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent.
    Anonymous

We’ve heard these quotes for most of out lives although the wording may have changed a little as each decade slides by.  They’re still funny and insightful from that ever present Anonymous philosopher.  Wouldn’t you enjoy sitting with Mr. or Ms. Unknown/Anonymous for a lunch and follow up conversation?  To laugh a lot and appreciate the humor and content of his/her thoughts for just a little while.  Common sense seems to be a rarity these days and a person’s ability to communicate profound ideas and thoughts in a humorous way is the rarest gift of all.  Here are a few more quotes for your enjoyment.

  • 9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
    Anonymous
  • Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
    Unknown
  • Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily as lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
    Unknown
  • She’s been up and down more times than a whore’s drawers.
    Anonymous
  • A kiss: To a young girl, faith; to a married woman, hope; to an old maid, charity.
    Unknown
  • The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
    Anonymous
  • Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
    Unknown
  • Ten percent of something is better than 100% of nothing.
    Unknown
  • Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
    Anonymous
  • It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
    Anonymous
  • Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
    Unknown
  • Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
    Unknown
  • Don’t brake until you see god, then brake like hell.
    Unknown

That list is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.  Who this Anonymous or Unknown genius is really isn’t all that important. It’s somehow getting his/her ideas out there for us to read, digest, and pass-on that is the important thing.  I’ve always found myself drawn to the Anonymous quotes first because for me they represent all of us.  The John Doe’s, the Jane Doe’s, and the John Q. Public’s, who seem to have more knowledge than expected and the secret ability to communicate without rudeness or condescension.  It’s a true talent. 

That being said here is maybe my all time favorite Anonymous quotation.  Every time I read it I just smile.  It tickles my funny bone and I’m not sure why. It might tell you a little more about me and my sense of humor and that’s okay too.

  • I’m as pissed off as a fart in a vacuum cleaner.
    Anonymous
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