Archive for the ‘jacuzzi’ Tag

08-28-2015 Journal – Nerdvanah!   Leave a comment

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‘Star Trek – Original Series’

I just finished watching a documentary thanks to Netflix that was filmed by the son of the late, great Gene Roddenberry. If you’re not aware and have been living in a cave somewhere, Roddenberry was father of Star Trek. His son claimed he was trying to discover who his father really was because they hadn’t been close. It seemed to me he was just using his late father’s fame just one more time to get his face on the big screen. Everyone needs their fifteen minutes of fame I guess and he’s using his to whine about his Daddy issues. Typical father and son issues that we’ve all dealt with in one form or another but without the capability or need to air it publicly.

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‘Star Trek– Next Generation’

Let me give you my qualifications for the remarks I’m about to make. Unlike Gene Jr. I was a sci-fi nerd before he was even a twinkle in his father’s eye. It began for me when my mother’s birthday gift for my eighth birthday was painting the walls and ceiling of my bedroom with planets, rocket ships, and stars. My bedroom was "Outer Space" to me before Star Trek was even a dream. For me that sci-fi nerdiness  has grown over the years until I’m what you see before you now, an older and wiser sci-fi geek who is damn proud of it. I loved Star Trek because it brought many of my childhood space fantasies to life.

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‘Star Trek – Deep Space Nine’

The documentary in question was a nostalgic trip down memory lane for me where I got to listen and meet once again the heroes of my youth. Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Bones, Scotty, Sulu and on and on and on. I loved the interviews with the cast from the Next Generation series which I always thought was the best of them all.

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‘Star Trek – Voyager’

It took me back to my visit to a motel in Philadelphia many years ago while on a boring business trip. The trip was a last minute one and I was hard pressed to find a motel room in the area I was visiting.  At the last minute I finally booked a room (a rather expensive one I might add) and arrived at the motel just after dark to check in. Little did I realize that the motel was hosting a rather large Star Trek convention and I was the only guy around not in costume. As I walked through the lobby in my nice suit and tie what did I see but three Romulans, two Klingons, and one fairly hot and green Orion slave girl.

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‘Star Trek – Enterprise’

Truthfully I was thrilled but I definitely was the odd man out.  I was advised by the desk clerk  that my room had been given away to a large group of Klingons who all  wanted to stay together in one wing of the motel.  I was then upgraded to a beautiful suite that had a huge and gorgeous Jacuzzi right in the middle of the room.  I changed my clothes and returned to the bar to check things out and to buy a few rounds for some of the visiting aliens? I heard more Klingon spoken in that bar in one night than all of the Star Trek episodes ever made. It was just the coolest thing ever.

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‘Klingon Sweethearts’

I was in nerd heaven but little did I know it was going to get even better. One of the last things I remembered was being in that scalding hot Jacuzzi at 3:00 am with two rather naked Klingon chicks and one Vulcan bitch  who was no fun at all. They filled me up with some sort of Klingon drink (they claimed) that tasted suspiciously like tequila, a treat from the Mexican side of the Klingon Empire.  It truly was a night to almost remember.

I confess that I’m a gigantic geek who remains loyal to all things Star Trek and always will.

NERDS MAY RULE THESE DAYS BUT US GEEKS GET THE KLINGON CHICKS

10-16-2013   Leave a comment

The Winter season is upon us in everyway except for the snow which will arrive when it’s most inconvenient as always.  Everyone has been slowly abandoning their summer-wear and easing into that ever so attractive triple layered ensemble of t-shirts, sweaters, sweat shirts, gloves, hats, and parkas.  People watching takes an ugly turn every year at this time and I’ll sure miss the bikinis, thongs, short skirts, and beautiful tans.  It’s the worst part of winter for me.

It gets so bad at times that after a few months, usually in February, you might find yourself making a early trip to the local mall to have a coffee and watch the ever increasing numbers of people doing their morning walk. There’s nothing more sad than making an early morning visit to a semi-deserted mall just to watch other idiots trying to make some human contact and to get the hell out of the house for an hour or so.

I’m a little jealous of those folks who can’t wait for the snow to arrive so they have a place to play.  I’m way too clumsy to be a snow bunny.  As a kid I managed to injure myself on a regular basis during every Winter season without even trying too hard.  Skiing was always good for a twisted knee or an up close and personal relationship with the occasional tree or shrub.  Once or twice I was actually able to ski down a hill, knocking over other skiers along the way, and then ending up in a creek with thin ice and really cold water.  We skated on a remote pond for years and without fail I always managed to fall through the ice on a few occasions.

After decades of minor injuries from walking on snow and ice I gave up.  No skiing, no skating, and definitely no snowmobiling.  When my friends in Maine discovered my failures as a snow bunny they began to give me odd looks and began whispering behind my back.  This was the motivation I needed to get serious about resolving my winter issues.  After many years I’ve discovered the only winter activity I’m good at.

As you are certainly aware every ski lodge has things in common with the others.  There’s always a chair lift, snow, a big mountain, and a lodge.  My winter activities this year will be centered primarily around the lodge and it’s varied selection of things to do.  There are lovely rooms to sleep and play in.  There are hot tubs, Jacuzzis, and untold numbers of young and attractive individuals to meet and interact with.  My favorite thing in every lodge is that comfortable bar stool that sits at the end of the bar near the huge picture window. There I can sit, drink, eat, meet, and greet everyone.  The only possible injuries I might suffer would be from an accidental fall from the bar stool which would only involve a spilled drink and possibly a small bruise on my buttocks.  The other and more dangerous injury would be from one of the many skiers I see flying down the mountain just outside my window.  If by chance one of them loses control and crashes through the window, I could be seriously injured.  If I stay alert I should be fine but you never know.  It also requires that I surround myself with a bevy of alcohol drinking buxom women to help break my fall if the worst happens. As always my approach to everything Winter is SAFETY FIRST.

Hopefully this winter I’ll remain uninjured for another year. Along the way I intend to stay as warm and cozy as possible with all of my new female lodge buddies. I promise to do my part when it comes time to do a Jell-O shot or two off the stomach of an enthusiastic  female volunteer.

SKIING RULES

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