Two women friends had gone out for a girl’s night out and had been decidedly overenthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with, so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend, however, was wearing a very expensive underwear set and didn’t want to ruin them but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a nearby wreath on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home. The next day the first woman’s husband called the other husband and said, “These damn girls’ nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties”. “That’s nothing,” said the other. “Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her ass that said, ‘From all of us at the Fire Station; we’ll never forget you!'”
😳😳😳
Limerick of the Day
Said Miss Farrow, on one of her larks,
“Sex is more fun in bed than in parks.
You feel more at ease,
Your ass doesn’t freeze,
And passers-by don’t make remarks.”
😉😉😉
WOKE Joke of the Day
Q. What do you call a nun with a sex change operation?
A. A trans-sister.
Comment: WOKE folks are the real jokes.
😵💫😵💫😵💫
THE MOST WONDERFUL INSPIRATIONS DIE WITH THEIR SUBJECT
“The joints of thy thighs are the jewel, the work of the hands of a cunning workman.”
The Song of Solomon (7:1, King James Version)
😜😜😜
Joke of the Day #1
Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, “My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG.” A second guy says, “What’s that?” The first guy says, “That means I am a Single, New Age Guy.” Another one says, “My name is Gary, and I am a DINK.” A girl sitting nearby asks, “What’s that?” He says, “That means I am a Double Income, No Kids.” A lady speaks up and says, “That’s nice enough but my name is Gertrude, and I am a WIFE.” Larry says, “A WIFE? What’s a WIFE?” She says, “That means, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.
🤪🤪🤪
Joke of the Day #2
A guy walks into a bar in sees a sign that reads . . .
HAMBURGERS $1.
CHEESEBURGER $2.
HAND JOB $3.
He immediately spots the attractive large breasted blonde behind the counter. “Can I help you?” She asks with a smile.“I was wondering,” whispered the man. “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” “Why yes I am,” she purrs, “Well if you don’t mind, please wash your hands, I really want a cheeseburger.
😇😇😇
Limerick of the Day
A girl named Alice, in Dallas,
Had never felt of a phallus.
She remained virgo intacto,
Because, ipso facto,
No phallus in Dallas would fit Alice.
😳😳😳
BETTER A FRIENDLY REFUSAL THAN AN UNWILLING ACCOMPLICE
“I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.” Zsa Zsa Gabor
Anagram of the Day
Mel Gibson – Big Melons
Joke of the Day
Rick O’Malley raised his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life between the legs of my wife!” And he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night at the pub. In bed later that night, he told his wife, “Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night.” She said, “What was your toast?” So, he told her, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life sitting in church beside my wife.” “Oh,” she said, “that is very nice, dear.” The next day, Mary ran into one of Patrick’s drinking partners in the street. Mischievously, the man said, “Did you hear about your husband winning a prize in the pub the other night for a toast about you, Mary?” She replied, “Yes and I was a bit surprised. Up until now, he’s only been down there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”
I’ve been blogging now for more than fourteen years, and I’ve tried to be as interesting as possible as I spread as much useless informationthat I could find to as many readers as possible. Initially I spent my first four years writing a political blog that was interesting, but all of the lame and badly written death threats from either side of the aisle convinced that I was wasting my time. Since the changeover to a more easy-going and friendly blog, blogging has returned to being fun. Now it’s time for another sidestep from my normal routine to an even friendlier and more fun format. “HUMOR”. It’s probably one of the few areas that almost everyone can enjoy whether it’s from jokes (both clean or dirty), limericks (both clean or dirty), humorous trivia, or any other means to help you grin, smile, laugh, and lighten your day. I’ll give it a go for the remainder of this year with the hope it will keep you coming back for more.
“Joke of the Day”
A farmer sent his 15-year-old son into town and, as a birthday present, handed him a duck. “See if you can get a girl in exchange for this,” he said. The lad met a prostitute along the way and said, “It’s my birthday and all I’ve got is this duck. Would you be willing to fuck? “Sure,” she said, “I’m sentimental about birthdays. And besides, I’ve never owned a duck.” Afterwards, she said, “Do you know for a 15-year-old boy, you’re quite a good lay. If you’d like to do it again, I’ll give you back your duck.” “Sure,” said the boy. When his pleasurable work was through, he left the village to return home. While he was crossing the main street in the village, the duck suddenly flew out of his hands and was hit by a passing beer truck. The driver of the truck felt so sorry for the boy and gave him two dollars. When he got home, his father asked, “How did you make out?” The son said, “I got a duck, a fuck, a duck for a fuck, and two dollars for a duck.”
In keeping with the new format here is the “Limerick of the Day” which should pay homage to a former lecherous President and his BFF:
everyuselessthing.com 