I occasionally make good-natured fun of women. Admittedly they can be funny as hell but it’s more of an excuse for me to irritate my better-half. Guess what? It works every time. She never fails to try and even the score in any number of ways but even then, I find her attempts at humor even funnier. Today’s post contains a lot of one-liners that will make most of my women readers smile and possibly giggle. The guys may cringe a little and call me an ass but IDC. If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re beyond help anyway.

• What is a man’s idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.

• Why do men name their penises? Because they don’t like the idea of a stranger making ninety percent of their decisions.

• What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run, or don’t fit right in the crotch.

• Why are men like cars? Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is coming.

• Why do only 10% of men go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.

TEN THINGS MAN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN

1. They have pussies.

2 – 9 ???

10. They have breasts too.

• What’s the difference between a penis and a prick? A penis is fun, sexy and satisfying. A prick is the guy who owns it.

• What is the one thing that keeps most men out of college? High school.

• Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Because breasts don’t have eyes.

• How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, men will screw anything.

• What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys watching a football game.

HEAR THEM ROAR !